


In My Veins

by dimensionhoppingrose



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Illness, Romance, Soulmate AU, Telepathic Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-09-06 15:10:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 47,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8757532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dimensionhoppingrose/pseuds/dimensionhoppingrose
Summary: -Telepathic bond soulmate AU- Everyone kept saying kids couldn’t develop telepathic bonds, that it was completely impossible. John Smith and Rose Tyler defied the impossible.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> John: 10; Rose: 8

The headache was back.

“Aunt Saraaaaaaah,” John whined, rubbing his temples as he walked into his aunt’s study. He had been trying to do his homework when the headache had struck, sharper and severer than ever before.

“What’s wrong, love?” Sarah Jane asked, looking up from her computer. “Your head again?”

John nodded pathetically, and Sarah Jane stood to get him into bed, giving him some of the liquid pain medication the doctor had given him when these headaches had first started a month earlier. They were still trying to find a _cause_ for them. The doctor had said it could be an early development of a soulmate bond — but John was only ten, that shouldn’t have been possible for a few more years. The earliest telepathic soulmate bond that had ever been documented was between a fifteen and an eighteen year old (John had discovered that when he went home to research the subject after the appointment). John was only ten, it wasn’t possible for his mind to be developed enough to sustain a bond like that.

The headaches had to be caused by something else. That was what the adults had determined, at least. John wasn’t willing to put the soulmate thought on the back burner just yet, though.

That, of course, brought up a lot of its own questions. What if his soulmate was _older_ than him? He was only ten, but what if they were like… eighteen? Was that creepy? Would they be disappointed that they would have to wait eight years for John? Would they even _want_ to wait?

Thinking about it scared him.

John sighed and closed his eyes, curling up in bed and waiting for the sharp pain in his head to finally go away. It usually took a couple of hours, but they always went away.

 _Tony is so annoying_ …

The words flitted through John’s head, and his eyes snapped open again. He shot up in bed, looking around for a source of the strange voice.

“Hello?” He called shakily. No answer. He crawled out of bed and peeked out into the hall, wondering if Sarah Jane was watching telly. But he could hear her in her study, fingers tapping furiously against the keyboard.

Maybe the headache was making him hallucinate, he decided as he returned to bed, pulling the covers over his head to block out the light.

 _Why won’t he_ _ **stop crying**_ _? Everyone always pays attention to_ _ **him**_ …

There it was again! John threw back the covers, sitting up, his head snapping around. “Hello?” He said again, a bit impatiently. He didn’t like when people played tricks on him. When nothing happened, he lied back down, burrowing under the covers once more.

_It’s **my** birthday, why can’t he shut up?_

John frowned as something clicked in his mind. The doctor had said the headaches could be the caused by a telepathic soulmate bond trying to develop. And now he was hearing a mysterious voice from nowhere.

Was it possible…?

 _Hello?_ He called hesitantly in his head. There was no answer. The voice had sounded rather annoyed — and young, and female. Maybe she wasn’t paying attention?

A sharp pain pulsed in John’s head, and he groaned, curling up under his blankets again and burying his face in his pillow.

He spent the next few hours listening to the increasingly annoyed thoughts in his mind, and the pain just kept getting worse. He was nearly crying when Sarah Jane came in to check on him and give him more pain medicine.

He didn’t tell her about the voice, though.

It was a little after eight when the headache finally started to recede a little, and John let out a relieved breath. The annoyance that had flared in the back of his head was also starting to die down — whatever had been upsetting the girl must have been over.

 _Hello?_ He tried again to talk to her. There was a long silence following his attempt.

_Who’re you?_

His heart jumped a bit when he actually got an answer. _I’m John!_ He said eagerly. _Who’re you?_

 _Rose_ , the small voice said. She sounded tired and pained.

_Are you okay?_

_My head hurts_.

John wondered if that was why his headache had felt worse than usual the last couple hours. _Mine does too. Do you get lots of headaches?_

 _Yeah_ , Rose replied quietly. _Mummy brought me to the doctor but they just gave me gross medicine_.

_Me too! Did they start a month ago?_

_I think so…_

They must have started getting headaches at the same time, John decided. That would make sense if they were really… soulmates.

That was weird to think about.

 _How old are you?_ John asked curiously.

 _Eight. It’s my birthday today_.

 _Really? That’s pretty cool_.

 _My brother cried the entire time_ , Rose grumbled, a definite bitter edge on her tone. _He’s so stupid. And my parents kept paying attention to_ _ **him**_ _. They didn’t even watch me blow out the candles on my cake_.

Well, that explained why she had been so annoyed earlier. _How old are you?_ Rose asked after a minute.

 _Ten. My birthday was last month_. The day the headaches had started, actually. John wondered if that was a coincidence or if it meant something. He hadn’t thought about it until this moment, honestly.

 _Wow, you’re_ _ **ten**_ _?_ Rose seemed stunned by that.

 _Yeah_. John hesitated, suddenly nervous. _Is that okay?_

_I’ve never had a friend who’s **ten**. It’s cool!_

John laughed out loud at that. _I’m sorry you didn’t have a good birthday_ , he said after a moment.

 _It’s okay_. It didn’t sound particularly okay. _Tony’s just such a baby sometimes._

_Is that your brother?_

_Yeah._ Rose sighed. _He’s five, Mummy said he just doesn’t understand that it’s a special day for me. But he understands when it’s_ _ **his**_ _birthday and expects everyone to pay attention to_ _ **him**_.

He sounded really annoying. _Do you have any brothers or sisters?_ Rose asked curiously.

 _Nope. I live with my aunt, my parents died when I was three. So it’s just the two of us_.

 _I’m sorry_ , Rose said quietly.

_It’s okay. I don’t really remember them. And my Aunt Sarah is the best._

They fell silent for a few minutes, but John could still vaguely feel Rose in the back of his mind. It wasn’t a strong connection, by any means — he couldn’t even tell if she was awake or if she had fallen asleep. But she was there.

And it was comforting.

 _Hey John?_ Rose said finally, and John perked up a bit.

_Yeah?_

_Do you think we should tell adults about this? Mummy said I’m too young to have a soulmate bond; I don’t think she’ll believe me_.

 _Aunt Sarah said the same thing_ , John said with a sigh. _I don’t think we should tell anyone, no. Why does anyone else need to know?_

_So… it’ll be like our secret?_

John grinned. _Yeah, it’ll be our secret_.

* * * * * * * *

John felt better the next morning, and while Sarah Jane was making breakfast, he snuck into the study to do more research on soulmate bonds.

There were a _lot_ of different bond types. Some were more common than others — birthmarks were the most common. Sarah Jane had said his parents had similar birthmarks. Some people had a tattoo of their soulmate’s name, or the first word their soulmate would say to them. There were _so many_ different kinds.

Telepathic bonds were the least common. That made John a little nervous. A telepathic bond was the only explanation for the conversation he’d had last night with Rose, but what did it mean that they had this specific one? Was there something wrong with them?

It didn’t _feel_ wrong, though. John held onto that. It didn’t feel wrong at all. Talking to Rose… it had made him _happy_. When she had declared it was cool to have an older friend, he had felt so good about himself.

It didn’t feel wrong to be connected to Rose like this. It didn’t feel wrong at all.

There was a light flutter in the back of John’s mind, then a tired voice mumbled, _Mmmm… John?_

His face split into a wide grin. _Morning!_ He said happily. Rose whined, and John laughed to himself.

 _What’re you doing?_ Rose asked after a moment.

_Looking up stuff about soulmates. Telepathic bonds are really rare apparently._

Rose was quiet for a moment. _Do you think something’s wrong with us?_ She asked finally.

 _No!_ John said quickly. _It just means we’re_ _ **super**_ _special. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with us at all_.

Rose giggled a little. _Okay._

“John!” Sarah Jane called upstairs. “Breakfast is ready!”

“’Kay!” John called, vaulting out of the study chair and running downstairs. Rose’s presence disappeared from the forefront of his mind, but she could still feel him fluttering around back there, like a butterfly in his head.

It was a wonderful and comforting feeling. He loved it.

“How’s your head feeling, love?” Sarah Jane asked as John plopped down at the table. John beamed at her.

“ _Lots_ better.”

* * * * * * * *

Tony was crying and demanding pancakes when Rose finally made her way downstairs. Rose rolled her eyes, flopping down at the table. “Good morning sweetheart,” Jackie said as she leaned over to kiss Rose’s cheek. “Did you sleep well?”

“Ahuh.” A plate was placed in front of Rose, and Pete _finally_ got Tony to calm down enough to eat. Rose looked down at her plate, munching on her eggs and focusing on the light flutter in the back of her head.

That was John. The very thought of it made her want to grin and giggle, but she resisted the urge. John was her secret, after all. And she wouldn’t be a very good secret keeper if she started giggling at breakfast.

“Rose, sweetie, how’s your head? Do you feel well enough to go to your music lesson today?”

“Sure,” Rose said, nodding eagerly. She loved her music lessons, they were the best.

She finished eating and went upstairs to get dressed, then she and Jackie left for her lesson while Pete tried to get Tony ready for football practice. Rose was bouncing in the backseat, arms wrapped around her flute case.

 _John?_ She tried to reach out for him. It took a moment for the flutter to become more prominent.

_Yeah?_

Rose grinned. _Hi. What’re you doing?”_

_Reading a book for school. You?_

_Going to my music lesson. Do you think you’ll be able to hear me playing?_

_I dunno_ , John said, but he sounded interested. _What do you play?_

 _Flute. And clarinet. But I like the flute a_ _ **lot**_ _better. I played clarinet for a year but reeds are really stupid so Mummy and Daddy let me switch_.

_What’s a reed?_

_It’s like… like a kind of paper thing? But it’s not really made of paper. But they break **really** easily, and I had to get a new one like every week. They were stupid. The flute is more fun._

They arrived at Rose’s teacher’s house, and she hopped out of the car, calling, “Bye Mummy!” over her shoulder as she ran to the door and knocked. Mrs. Burrey let her in, and she set up quickly, running through her scales.

 _That sounds_ _ **really**_ _pretty_ , John spoke up, and Rose jumped a bit. She hadn’t realized he was there, trying to listen.

 _Do you think so? They’re just scales. I have to play them to warm up_.

“Rose, dear.” Mrs. Burrey called her back to reality. “Get out your book now. Did you practice those songs I assigned you?”

“Yes ma’am,” Rose said politely, getting out her book and putting it on the stand. She flipped open to the first song and started playing.

And miles away, sequestered safely in his room with his book resting on his lap, John closed his eyes and listened. The sound was faint and kept cutting out, like listening to a poorly tuned radio. But what he could hear of it was _lovely_. He had never been much of a music person, but he could listen to Rose’s flute for hours.

There was no possible way this bond could be wrong or bad when it made John so _happy_.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John: 11; Rose: 9

_John, JohnJohnJohn, Johnny, wake up!_

John groaned, burying his face in his pillow. _Roooooooose it’s early_ , he complained. Rose giggled in his mind.

_I know, but I have to do this before my parents wake up._

_Wait, do what?_

_Just pay attention_.

John sighed and forced himself to tune into Rose’s mind completely. He was surprised when the first notes of _Happy Birthday_ , on Rose’s flute, flitted through his head. It was _beautiful_. He loved listening to Rose play.

 _Since I can’t give you a_ _ **real**_ _present_ , she said when she was done. _I was gonna make you something, but I didn’t know how I’d get it to you._

 _It’s okay,_ John said. _I don’t need a real present. Thanks for playing for me_.

“John, are you awake?” Sarah Jane called upstairs. “I made banana pancakes!”

“Be right down,” John called back, hopping out of bed.

 _Banana pancakes?_ John laughed. He could hear the disgust in Rose’s voice. _That’s gross_.

_Well, what do **you** like in your pancakes?_

_Blueberries or chocolate chips like a_ _ **normal**_ _person_.

 _You’re no fun_.

John hurried downstairs, lighting up when he saw the small pile of presents on the table. “Are those for _me_?”

“No, they’re for the other boy who has a birthday today,” Sarah Jane teased. “Sorry there aren’t too many, but I think you’ll like what you’ve got.”

John threw himself at Sarah Jane, hugging her tight. Birthdays weren’t always a big deal — Sarah Jane was a journalist and didn’t make a ton of money, things were tight sometimes. And John knew it.

Seeing any presents at all was amazing.

“I thought we could go out for dinner, too. Wherever you want,” Sarah Jane said as John sat down to eat.

“ _Really_? Okay!”

John could feel Rose fluttering in his head while he ate. _You don’t get a party?_ She asked curiously. John shrugged, then remembered Rose couldn’t see him.

 _Nah_. Aside from not having a lot of money, John didn’t have too many friends. There wouldn’t have been any point in having a party.

_Why not?_

_I don’t really need a party. Besides, Aunt Sarah made banana pancakes. What else do I need?_

_Better taste in pancakes_.

After he finished eating, John ripped into his presents. There was a big box on the bottom of the pile that Sarah Jane insisted he opened first. He ripped off the paper eagerly.

“A _laptop_?!”

“So you can stop sneaking into the study and using my computer,” Sarah Jane said teasingly. She laughed as John through himself out of his chair and practically tackled her.

“Thank you, thank you, _thank you_!”

 _You’re happy!_ Rose piped up.

_She got me my own **laptop**! How cool is that?!_

She had also gotten him a computer game she thought she would like, and even an art program with a pen and tablet, which explained why she had insisted on him opening the laptop first.

Sarah Jane helped him set up the laptop, and he spent the entire morning playing on it. _It’s_ _ **so cool**_ , he told Rose happily as he waited for the art program to install. _What should I draw first_?

 _Um… dunno_. Rose had been kind of distant since breakfast. John made a face.

_What’re you doing?_

_Nothing_ , Rose said unconvincingly, and John wished their bond was a little stronger so he could actually _look_ and see what she was doing. _You’ll see. Play with your computer. You should draw a cat_.

_A cat?_

_Yeah! Cats are great. I want a cat, but Dad’s allergic._

The art program finished installing, and John broke out the tablet so he could begin drawing — a cat, just like Rose had requested.

 _Done!_ Rose said triumphantly after about half an hour. John blinked, looking up from his work.

_Done with what?_

_With your birthday present!_ That was understandably confusing to John. _Well, sorta. You have to make it, but I can help you, it’s easy. Do you have string?_

 _I think so, yeah._ Sarah Jane sewed and knitted, he could probably take some of hers.

 _Go get your three favorite colors,_ Rose ordered. John hopped off his bed, peeking out into the hall. Sarah Jane was downstairs, so he hurried to her bedroom, getting her box of threads out of the closet. He picked out red, purple, and blue string and went back to his bedroom.

 _Cut off a long piece of each color. Make sure it’s big enough for your wrist_.

John made a face even as he did as he was told. _Am I making a bracelet?_

_Yup! I made one for myself, and I’ll help you make one, and then we can have matching bracelets!_

John actually really liked the idea of that. He let Rose walk him through the steps of twisting the strings just the right way, and while it took him a couple tries, he finally had a passable bracelet after almost two hours of working.

 _Are you done?_ Rose asked eagerly.

 _Yup!_ John finished the tying the ends so he could slip it on his wrist. He had made it a little bigger than it needed to be, and he could adjust the size on it so he could fit it to his wrist as he got older.

He wanted to wear this bracelet forever.

* * * * * * * *

It was free reading time, and Rose was _trying_ to focus on her book, but her eyes kept drifting to the pink bracelet on her wrist. A symbol of her secret friendship with John. She loved it _so much_.

She loved having John as a secret friend.

Of course, _now_ John was at school, and Rose was trying not to pay too much attention to what he was doing. He took hard, older kids classes, and Rose never understood what he was doing.

Rose had just managed to focus on her book and really start reading when she felt a spike of fear run through her mind. Her eyes widened.

_John?_

No answer, but she immediately felt a pang of sadness and helplessness, and for some reason, she almost started crying right there at her desk.

_Johnny?_

It was a long few minutes before he finally answered. _Yeah?_ His voice was small. He sounded so sad. Rose hated hearing him so sound.

_What’s wrong?_

_Nothing_.

 _Jooooohn_ , Rose said, frowning. _What’s wrong?_

He sighed. _Some jerks took my sketchbook and ripped it up. All of my drawings are ruined. I’ve had this book for over a year._

Rose frowned, feeling awful. John didn’t deserve to be bullied. He was the best. Why would anyone want to hurt him?

_Are you okay?_

_Yeah, they didn’t really hurt me. Just my sketchbook._ He sounded so sad. Rose just wanted to hug him.

“Reading time is over, kids. Get out your maths books and turn to page twenty-three.”

* * * * * * * *

John sighed as he flipped through the ruined remains of his sketchbook. Rose had disappeared, presumably to focus on class, leaving him to his self pity.

He should have known better than to bring his sketchbook to school. The other kids already picked on him enough without needing a reason. Drawing in a sketchbook was a surefire way to get himself called a nancy boy and have his sketchbook destroyed.

But he had been _obsessed_ with drawing lately. Specifically, with trying to draw Rose.

He didn’t know exactly what she looked like, of course, which made it harder. But sometimes if he focused really hard he could kind of… _feel_ what she looked like. Like he knew she was small. And he was pretty sure she had blonde hair. The rest was a mystery, but that was exactly why he kept drawing. It was weird, not knowing what his best friend looked like.

And now all of his drawings are ruined.

He put the destroyed sketchbook in his bag and tried to focus on the teacher, ignoring the wadded up pieces of paper that were being thrown at his head.

He was used to this, after all.

* * * * * * * *

Rose’s birthday party was a couple days before her birthday. And it was _huge_.

John understood almost instantly why she had been so shocked by his lack of party and few presents. Preparations for Rose’s party began before she was even awake, and by ten a.m. people were arriving.

Rose was understandably distracted all day, which left John with plenty of time to figure out what he was going to do for Rose’s birthday. He pulled absentmindedly at his bracelet (which he hadn’t taken off since Rose had helped him make it), and wished he could do something like that for Rose.

 _Tony’s so annoying_ , Rose grumbled in John’s head. _He’s crying because he lost pin the tail on the donkey_.

 _Ugh, I’m sorry_ , John said honestly. He was tapping his pen absentmindedly against his sketchbook, still thinking. Rose disappeared again, though John kept getting glimpses of her emotions — it was a _big_ party apparently.

John started sketching again, and was halfway through another drawing of Rose when inspiration hit him.

_Oh!_

He flew to the hall closet, yanking it open and digging out the box of old binders from school years passed. He found a red one that wasn’t too warn out, and even still had page protectors inside.

Perfect.

Back to his room, he spent nearly three hours finishing up the sketch he had been working on, then carefully ripped it out of his sketchbook and put it in one of the page protectors.

With that done, he flipped to a clean page and wrote “Rose’s Birthday Sketches” in the best handwriting he could manage, then put it the cover page in another page protector, in front of the sketch.

 _Whatcha doing?_ Rose asked curiously, and John jumped. He’d thought she’d be busy for a while longer.

_Tony being annoying again?_

_No, we’re waiting for the cake to come out. So what’re you doing?_

_Well, I wasn’t sure what to do for your birthday, so I drew you a picture. And I’m going to keep all the pictures I draw for you together, and give them to you when we meet in person. Is that an okay gift?_

Sounds were odd in telepathic bonds. While Rose couldn’t _quite_ squeal in excitement in her head, the wave of happiness that washed over John could have been akin to a squeal. _That’s so cool! You drew a picture just for me?!_

John relaxed. Clearly she loved the idea. That was good.

* * * * * * * *

Rose passed out early that night, clearly exhausted by all the party activities, leaving John with the buzz of her restful sleep in the back of his mind.

 

And he wondered, for the first time, how much money Rose’s family really had. They clearly had enough to throw a huge, lavish party with a ton of people for their daughter, and also enough to send their daughter to music lessons and for their son to play football (Rose had complained more than once about having to go to Tony’s games, and usually spent most of the time talking to John).

Enough money that it surprised Rose when John only received a few presents on his birthday.

Not that Rose had ever acted like a snob. She was exactly the opposite, really — she was kind, and caring. She had gone out of her way to figure out a present to give John for his birthday when she had seen how few presents he’d gotten, and she had never once judged him.

Honestly, she was the nicest person John had ever met.

But if her family had a lot of money… would she even want to bother with John? It didn’t matter _now_ , sure, but what about when they got older? When they met in person? He wasn’t _poor_ , per se, but they didn’t exactly have a lot of money either. And it wasn’t like Rose would spend a lot of time with people like him — rich people went to rich schools, they interacted with other rich kids.

Would Rose even want to be John’s friend?

* * * * * * * *

Something was wrong.

John hadn’t been talking to Rose as much, and that scared her. Was he angry at her? Had she done something wrong? Maybe he was mad because she had ignored him a lot during her birthday party. But he hadn’t _seemed_ mad. He’d even drawn her a picture! That wasn’t how someone who was mad acted, right?

Right?

 _You’re thinking_ , John said one day, startling Rose out of her reverie. She was _supposed_ to be paying attention to her teacher, who was teaching them cursive, but all she could think about was John and why he was mad at her.

Apparently he had noticed.

 _Are you mad at me?_ She demanded. It was the first time he had been more than a flutter in her mind in three days, and she was gong to take advantage of it.

John was quiet for a moment, and Rose could feel his surprise. _Why would you think that?_

 

 _I dunno, you just… you haven’t been talking to me. You’re acting like you’re mad at me_ , Rose said uncomfortably. _Like you don’t want to talk to me anymore_.

 _Of course I want to talk to you!_ John protested. _I just…_

His voice drifted off, and Rose could feel him struggling to find the right words. _Are you rich?_ He finally asked. Rose blinked, surprised. Of all the things she had been expecting, that wasn’t it.

_I… I guess? Dad is. He made some drink or something, a lot of people like it. Why?_

John fell silent for a moment. _I just… I don’t want you to get bored with me ‘cause I don’t have a lot of money._

Rose didn’t know what to say to that. _Of course I wouldn’t get bored with you_ , she said quietly. _You’re my best friend._

 _Really?_ Rose could feel John’s hope, and that made her smile. He didn’t want to lose her.

And she didn’t want to lose him.

_Really._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review? I would really appreciate it.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John: 12; Rose: 10

“ _Get out of my room_!”

“It wasn’t my _fault_!”

“Hey, hey!” Pete called as he hurried out of his study to find his children screaming at each other. “What’s going on?”

“Tony broke my flute!” Rose yelled.

“Why’d you leave it on your bed?!” Tony yelled back.

“Why were _you_ jumping on my bed?!”

“Everybody stop yelling, now,” Pete ordered. “Rose, what happened?”

“I was practicing, and I put my flute on the bed for a minute, and Tony came in and started jumping on my bedm even though I _told_ him to stop, and he jumped right on my flute! He bent a bunch of keys, it’s _ruined_!”

“Tony, why were you jumping on Rose’s bed?”

“I wanted to play!”

“You broke my flute! You’re so _stupid_!”

“Rose Marion Tyler,” Pete said sternly. “You do _not_ call your brother stupid.”

“What about my flute?!” Was Tony going to get in trouble at _all_ for that?

“We’ll get you a new one tomorrow after school,” Pete said gently. “Tony, go to your room and stay there.”

“ _Why_?!”

“You know why. Go on.”

Tony glared at his father before storming off to his bedroom and slamming the door. Rose did the same, furious. He _broke_ her flute and all he got was a time out? It wasn’t fair!

 _Are you okay?_ John asked quietly. Rose was fuming as she threw herself on her bed, picking up her flute to look at it. She nearly cried. There was no way she was going to be able to keep practicing now.

 _I hate Tony! I hate my parents! They always take his side about_ _ **everything**_ _!_ Tears filled her eyes as she furiously pulled the flute apart. _He broke something of mine and all my father did was send him to his room! It’s not fair! I hate them!_

 _I know you’re upset about your flute_ , John said slowly. _I’m really sorry he broke it._

_I told him to stop and he didn’t! He never listens to me! It’s **my** room!_

She started crying for real, throwing the flute down on the bed and curling up tight against her head board, burying her face in her knees. Tony always had to ruin _everything_.

A warm, comforting presence spread through Rose’s mind, and for a moment she almost felt like she was being hugged. She curled up a bit tighter, trying to just focus on the feeling in her head.

John couldn’t _physically_ be there to comfort her, but over the last few years they had figured out how to project comfort, so to speak, to one another. And it was a nice feeling. It was like being in a warm blanket made of the softest material in the world, and lying on a fluffy bed.

It felt wonderful.

The tears slowed after a few minutes, and Rose sniffed as she wiped her eyes. She still felt pretty awful about what had happened to her poor instrument. But John had made it a little better.

He was good at that.

 _Sorry_ , she said quietly after a minute. _Did you hear the whole fight?_

 _Yeah_ , John admitted. They had noticed, recently, that the bond was starting to get stronger. While at one time they would have had to actively try to listen to one another, now they found themselves randomly tuning in at different points and hearing _everything_ that was happening.

It was a little weird and extremely disconcerting.

* * * * * * * *

John was in Physics, trying to pay attention. It wasn’t going well. He had been in and out of his head all day, getting lost in Rose’s thoughts. She was panicking about a maths test she had, and she kept accidentally dragging John into her head.

He tapped his pen against his temple, taking a deep breath. _Come on, John. This is probably going to be on the test. Take notes_.

That worked for about five minutes… until a wave of panic washed over him, nearly drowning him.

 _Oh god I don’t remember how to do this, John told me how to do this and I don’t remember, I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna fail_ —

Rose must have been taking her test. John tried to pull back into his own head, but it was impossible. He was trapped with Rose, listening to her repeat the first question in her head over and over.

 _Three-fourths minus one-fifth, three-fourths minus one-fifth,_ _ **I don’t remember how to do this**_ …

 _Create a common dominator_ , John reminded Rose gently. _What’s the lowest number that’s divisible by four and five?_

Rose hesitated as she tried to calm down. _Twenty?_

_Yeah! So multiply three over four by five over five and one over five by four over four. That’s fifteen over twenty and four over twenty. What’s fifteen minus four?_

_Um… eleven._

_So the answer’s eleven over twenty because you can’t make it any smaller since there’s no number that goes into eleven and twenty._

There were ten questions on the quiz. John helped Rose through all of them and they were done in ten minutes. As soon as the last question was done, John snapped back into his own head with a gasp.

Oh that had been _weird_.

John spent the rest of the day in a blur. He and Rose didn’t usually talk much while they were in school — they were supposed to be focusing on their schoolwork, after all — and for once he was glad about that.

He needed a break to straighten his head out.

Rose got out of school about half an hour before John, but his last period was study hall so she didn’t mind bothering him during that.

 _Hi!_ Rose piped up as she left school that day. John grinned.

_Hey. How are you?_

_I’m good. I think my test went well. I finished_ _ **super**_ _fast_.

John’s smile immediately faded. _Wait, what do you mean?_

 _I mean, it’s like I just knew the answers. I was super scared because I couldn’t remember anything them boom! I just wrote down all the answers like it was nothing_.

John clenched his teeth. _Rose… I was there for your test, remember?_

Rose didn’t answer for a moment. _You were?_

 _Yeah._ John was a bit confused that she didn’t remember. He remembered it so clearly…

Or he thought he did, at least. But the more he tried to think about it, the harder it became to remember. Like a dream.

 _I don’t remember that_ , Rose said quietly. This was a new, rather unsettling development. They _always_ remembered being in on another’s heads.

 _John?_ Rose asked quietly.

_Yeah?_

_Does this mean I cheated on the test?_

John wasn’t really sure how to answer that.

* * * * * * * *

Rose got her test back the following week, with a big _100_ written on top, along with a _Good Job!_ sticker.

Rose supposed she should have been happy about it. But she just felt sick. She had _cheated_. John had helped her on the test; she hadn’t earned this grade.

But how was she supposed to tell her teacher that?

 _Rose?_ John asked quietly. He must have felt that she was upset.

 _I got a perfect score on my test_ , she said quietly.

_That’s good. Right?_

It was… except Rose didn’t feel like she had earned the grade. She stared dismally at the test for a moment before putting it in her take home folder.

Her mother was elated when she saw the grade. “Rose, that’s fantastic!” She said happily, kissing Rose’s forehead. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Y-Yeah, but Mum…” Rose hesitated. “I… I think I cheated.”

“What?”

Rose looked down at the floor, blinking back tears. “I um… I had help. I have a… a friend, in my head, he…”

One look at Jackie told Rose that her mother wasn’t believing any of this. “Rose, sweetie, you earned this grade,” Jackie said gently. “You did a good job.”

“Yeah,” Rose said miserably. She didn’t _feel_ like she had done a good job.

And now she felt worse that her mother had just _ignored_ her when she said she had a voice in her head.

 _I’m sorry I tried to tell_ , Rose said quietly to John as she made her way upstairs. 

 _It’s okay,_ John replied. _You feel bad. I’m sorry I helped you cheat._

 _It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to_. Rose was quiet as she closed her door, flopping down on the bed. _I can’t believe she didn’t listen to me, though_.

The warm feeling spread through Rose’s head again, and she sighed faintly as she curled up on her bed, closing her eyes and just enjoying the feeling.

 _I’ll help you study for your next test_ , John said after a moment. _And you’ll pass it all on your own. Sound good?_

Rose considered this for a moment before nodding once. _Okay_.

* * * * * * * *

John was humming _Jingle Bells_. Again. For the fifth time that day.

 _Rooooooooooooooooooose_ , he whined. _Please, please,_ _ **please**_ _practice a different song!_

Rose had joined the school band that year, and was currently preparing for her winter concert. She had been practicing Jingle Bells for _hours,_ and now the tune was stuck in John’s head and driving him crazy.

_But I don’t have Jingle Bells down yet!_

_Maybe you need to take a break and practice a new song_ , John suggested. He really just wanted to stop hearing _Jingle Bells_ over and over and over and…

 _Fiiiiiine_ , Rose whined, and a moment later the first notes of _Silent Night_ flitted through John’s brain.

And then he spent the rest of the day with _that_ stuck in his head.

Being telepathically bonded to someone who played an instrument was so hard.

* * * * * * * *

“ _Please_ turn it off,” John begged. Sarah Jane raised an eyebrow at him.

“I thought you liked Christmas music?”

That was before he’d spent a solid week listening to Rose practice it. He was kind of sick of it now. “I’ve been listening to it a lot.” It wasn’t a complete lie. Sarah Jane gave in, thankfully, turning off the radio.

He felt a flutter in the back of his head as Rose woke up. He had been up since five, getting ready. It was a little after eight now. _What’re you doing?_ He could almost hear her yawning.

 _We’re going to get a Christmas tree_.

 _A_ _ **real**_ _one?_ Rose sounded fascinated by that. This would be their third Christmas together. The first year, their connection had been too weak for them to really spend a lot of time together, and the year before, Rose had gone with her family on some kind of vacation and she hadn’t paid much attention to what John was doing.

This was their first real Christmas together.

_Yeah, of course. What else would we get?_

_We just have a fake tree_. Now she sounded wistful. _Mum says real trees make too much of a mess. I don’t think we’ve ever had a real one_.

Oh that was just depressing. _Aunt Sarah and I get a real one every year. We’re going to spend the entire day decorating the house._

 _That sounds like a lot of fun_ , Rose said. _Mum and Dad just pay someone to decorate the house and tell me and Tony to stay out of the way so we don’t cause trouble._

John frowned faintly. He was used to Christmas decorating including baking cookies, and Christmas music playing, and a huge tree that didn’t quite fit through the door but they always made it work.

He couldn’t imagine Rose’s version of Christmas at all.

They got to the tree lot, and John bounced out. It was always up to him to pick out the best tree. He had never failed once at this job. He ran down the first row of trees, inspecting trees closely.

 _How do you tell which one is good?_ Rose asked curiously.

 _Well, you want one that’s_ _ **really**_ _big. We have a lot of ornaments and we need a tree big enough to fit them all._ He stopped in front of tree, trying really hard to imagine it so he could let Rose see it without her having to completely into his head. _This one would be a good_ _ **size**_ _but see how the limbs are drooping? That means it’s weak and probably won’t hold up all the ornaments._

He kept going down the aisle. _This one is too small… oh this one is way too big, we won’t get it on Sarah Jane’s car_ …

 _Wait, you take it home yourselves?_ Rose asked, stunned.

_Yup! They put it through a machine that wraps it up so you can get it on top of your car, then you drive it home._

_That’s so cool!_ Rose said happily. John laughed, stopping in front of a tree.

 _Oh this one’s a_ _ **really**_ _good one. See, the limbs are really sturdy, and it’s a_ _ **big**_.

“Hey Aunt Sarah!” He called. “I found one!”

Sarah came around the corner and down the row. John grinned as he pointed to the tree. “Oh that’s a nice one,” Sarah Jane agreed, smiling. “What do you think? Is that the tree?”

“I think it is.” John nodded firmly.

“I’ll go get help then.”

 _So what happens now?_ Rose asked.

 _They’re going to cut the stump down, then wrap it up, and help us tie it to our car. Then we’ll go home and set it up, and we’ll start decorating_.

 _That sounds like so much fun_. Rose sounded sad. John couldn’t really blame her. He’d always thought being rich would be really cool.

But Rose’s Christmases seemed really depressing.

They got home, and struggled to get the tree through the door. Then they had to get it on the base, and get some water in.

 _So now you decorate it?_ Rose asked curiously. Sarah Jane put on the Christmas music.

 _Now we decorate it_.

Rose flopped back on her bed, closing her eyes and letting her flute rest on her chest. She was supposed to be practicing, but focusing on what John was doing was so much more fun.

And, without meaning to, she slipped into his head.

Sarah Jane was singing along to the Christmas music she had put on, and John was humming despite himself. Rose felt like she was floating in a warm pool. Everything was so fun and so happy.

There was decorating going on in her house and she wasn’t even allowed to help. She just wanted to stay in John’s head forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review...?


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John: 13; Rose: 11

 

Sarah Jane was laughing. John glared.

“Stop it!” He demanded, cursing silently when his voice cracked a little again. That, of course, just made Sarah Jane laugh harder. “Stop laughing!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Sarah Jane gasped, leaning over the table as she tried to catch her breath. “I’m sorry, sweetie, I just…”

She paused, the burst out laughing once more. John glared before turning and storming upstairs to get ready for school. He had woken up that morning and proceeded to get ready, mumbling to himself about what he needed…when his voice had cracked. It had just been a small thing, but it had caused John to pause, thinking maybe he was getting sick, and he spoke out loud again. Nothing happened, so he went back to getting ready and mumbling. And then it happened again.

At that point he had run downstairs to Sarah Jane, convinced he was getting sick, and when he’d said as much to her his voice had cracked once more. That was when the laughter had started.

He wasn’t sick. It was just puberty setting in.

“You’re mean!” He shouted downstairs to Sarah before closing his door. A new wave of laughter met his words as his voice dropped horribly.

_Whuzgoinon?_ Rose asked blearily. _Why’re you annoyed?_

_Aunt Sarah is making fun of me! My voice keeps cracking and she’s_ _ **laughing**_ _at me!_ John grumbled back as he grabbed a shirt, yanking it over his head. He had known it was coming — puberty had hit him like a bus over the summer — but that didn’t mean he had to _like_ it.

_I wanna hear!_ Rose was awake now, and eager.

_No way._ John ducked under his bed to find the book he had fallen asleep reading.

_Please please please please pleeeeeeeeeeease?_ Rose begged, and John sighed as he straightened up.

_**Fine**_.

He waited while Rose carefully worked her way into his head — they had gotten to a point where they could actually _hear_ one another, and what was going on in the other’s surroundings, when they were in each other’s heads.

_Ready?_

_I think so!_

John sighed. “This is my voice it sounds really stupid I hope you’re happy I’m humiliating myself just for you.”

Of course, it cracked three times. A wave of amusement washed through his head, and he knew Rose was giggling. _Stop laughing at me!_

_I’m not laughing!_

John grumbled as he grabbed his bag and stormed downstairs. _This is the worst possible thing that could ever happen to anyone during puberty_ _ **ever**_ , he declared.

“Have a good day at school, Squeaky!” Sarah Jane called as John left. Rose, of course, heard.

_**Squeaky!** _

Yup. Puberty sucked.

* * * * * * * *

Rose was at her music lesson, and John was trying to listen as he wandered through the grocery store with Sarah Jane. He’d walked into three displays before he finally had to concede and just be sad he was missing the lesson.

They finally got to a check out line, which was _huge_. John huffed, annoyed.

“Oh, shush,” Sarah Jane scolded him, rolling her eyes. “You’re the one who _had_ to come with me so you could make sure I got the right brand of chocolate ice cream. It all tastes the same, John.”

“Does _not_ ,” John replied. “Besides, you’re taking for _ever_.”

Sarah Jane just rolled her eyes, mumbling about teenagers, and returned her attention to putting the items on the conveyor belt. John grabbed a gossip magazine off the rack to flip through while he waited. These things were stupid and inane, but they passed the time when Sarah Jane took forever to check out.

He paused when a headline caught his attention. _Tyler family steps out_. Tyler… that was Rose’s name. But it was such a common last name. The first sentence told John it was about the Vitex family. He rolled his eyes, gaze drifting to look at the disgusting drinks in the fridge. He had tried one of those things once, it was awful. He didn’t understand how anybody drank it. He looked back at the article again.

_Vitex inventor Pete Tyler was seen with his family Tuesday night_ … Man, what a horrible life that must have been. They couldn’t even leave the house without being stalked by the paparazzi. John kept scanning the article, bored. _His wife, Jackie, and children Rose and Tony_ —

…

……

………

John froze on the sentence, staring at it with his mouth hanging open. No, he had read that wrong. He had obviously read that wrong. He tried again.

_His wife, Jackie, and children Rose and Tony_ …

It was still possible he was just reading it wrong… right?

“John?” Sarah Jane called. “We’re done, let’s go.”

John quickly threw the magazine back onto the rack and hurried after Sarah Jane. Rose had never mentioned being the Vitex heiress. Why wouldn’t she tell him something like that? It was a pretty big deal!

He tried to see if Rose was done with her music lesson yet, and caught the sound of the flute flitting through his mind. Dang it.

They got home, and John hurried right upstairs, grabbing his laptop and going straight online, searching _Vitex family Tyler_.

And _hundreds_ of articles popped up. Vitex had its own Wikipedia page, of course. He started at the top, reading all about how Pete Tyler and his wife had been living on a counsel estate with their young daughter and new-born son when he had invented Vitex. It was basically a rags to riches story. Pete had his own page, so he clicked on that link and went to check it out. There was a section detailing how he met his wife, and even small profiles on the children, complete with recent pictures.

John stared at the picture of the young blonde, with bright brown eyes and a radiant smile. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he registered that this was the first time he was seeing Rose’s face. And that he had somehow gotten her face pretty right in his drawings.

* * * * * * * *

Something was wrong.

Rose was able to tell the minute she was done with her lesson, and tuned back in to John. He was being quiet, and barely answered when she asked he had enjoyed her lesson (because he _always_ enjoyed her lessons, he was always listening unless he had something else to do).

_John?_

_Hmmm?_

_What’s wrong?_

_Nothing_.

He was lying. Rose tried not to panic, twisting her bracelet around her wrist, her flute case resting in her lap. Her mother was babbling inanely in the front seat as they drove home. Rose barely noticed.

_John?_ She tried again. It took him a longer moment to answer.

_Yeah?_ He finally said. Rose’s heart dropped. He sounded upset.

_Please tell me what’s wrong_ , she begged quietly.

_Nothing’s wrong_.

_You’re upset_ , Rose insisted, frowning. Why was he lying to her? Rose didn’t understand.

_I’m not upset, Rose. Really. Just kind of tired. Long day at school, ya know._

Rose’s frown deepened. He was lying. She twisted her bracelet again. _Did I do something wrong?_

_No, of course not_ , John said quickly. _Like I said, I’m just tired_.

Rose didn’t believe that for a minute.

* * * * * * * *

John sighed, staring blankly at the ceiling. He was supposed to be sleeping. Rose had fallen into an uneasy sleep about half an hour earlier — he could feel her resting fitfully in the back of his head.

He raised his hand over his head, staring at the bracelet around his wrist.

God, how could he have been so _stupid_? Rose had _told_ him her father had invented a drink, how had he not put it together then? How had he not realized?

How could he have been so stupid. Rose — _his soulmate_ — was completely out of his class. She wasn't just _rich_. She was an actual, legitimate _heiress_. She was far too good for him. She would never want anything to do with him. She could do so much better than him. She would have a line of boys around the corner trying to ask her out before long.

And why shouldn’t she say yes to them? Why shouldn’t she want to better than the middle-class nobody she was telepathically bonded with? John would never be anything special. He would never be rich. He would _never_ be able to give Rose the kind of life she deserved.

And she deserved so much. She deserved _everything_.

* * * * * * * *

The next week was… hard.

John continued to be distant, and Rose, for the life of her, couldn’t figure out why. She tried to ask, but every time he just avoided the question, changed the subject, or just flat-out ignored her.

That one hurt the most.

“Rose, sweetie?” Jackie asked gently. Rose looked up from her dinner. She had barely eaten anything. She felt sick. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t feel good,” she mumbled. “Can I go to my room?”

Jackie frowned, pressing her hand against Rose’s forehead. “You don’t have a fever. What’s wrong?”

“Just don’t feel good,” she mumbled again. “Please?”

“Alright, sweetie. Go lie down.”

Rose went upstairs, dropping into bed. She felt _awful_. She didn’t understand why John wasn’t talking to her. She didn’t understand why he was lying to her. Maybe he was sick of her? She _was_ two years younger than him. It didn’t _seem_ like a big deal, but it was probably a lot to him, since he was the older one. He would be in high school before her, and go to sixth form before her, and go to university before her. She’d still be in high school when he was an adult.

Why would he want to be her friend?

Tears filled Rose’s eyes, and she buried her face in her pillow as she started crying, breath catching as she tried not to sob.

* * * * * * * *

“John? What’s wrong?”

John jumped. He hadn’t even realized he was crying until Sarah Jane had pointed it out. He wiped is eyes quickly, shaking his head. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“You’re crying, love. Are you okay?”

Yeah. _He_ was okay. More or less. But he knew who wasn’t.

“I don’t feel good. Can I go lie down?”

Sarah Jane nodded, frowning a bit. “Of course, Johnny. Just let me know if you need anything.”

John made his way upstairs, wiping his eyes. After a moment of hesitation he carefully reached out. _Rose?_

He felt her jump a little, clearly surprised. _What do you want?_ Her mental voice sounded so impossibly sad. John hated himself a little.

_What’s wrong?_

_Like you care_.

That stung a bit. _Of course I care, Rose. Why wouldn’t I?_

_I don’t know, you keep ignoring me. You must not care._

Oh. John curled up in his bed, staring at the wall. _Of course I care,_ he protested again, a bit weaker this time.

_Then why won’t you talk to me? Why do you keep lying to me? Are you mad at me? What did I **do**?_

A fresh wave of despair washed over John, and he realized now why he had been crying. He sighed, playing with his bracelet. _You didn’t do anything,_ he said quietly.

_Then tell me what’s wrong!_

John squeezed his eyes shut. _You… you’re the Vitex heiress_ , he said finally, quietly. Stunned silence followed his words.

_And?_ John didn’t really know what to say. _What does that have to do with anything?_

_I… I just… I…_ John didn’t know what to say. _You’re rich_.

_You already knew that!_

_Yeah, I know, I know_ … John sighed. _But you’re not_ _ **just**_ _rich. You’re… you’re elite. You’re_ _ **so**_ _much better than I am, Rose._

_I don’t think I’m better than you_. Rose sounded hurt.

_I know you don’t think you are_ , John said quickly. _But you_ _ **are**_ _. Your dad has all this money, I bet you go to like, the best school in London, your family’s in magazines, you can afford to do_ _ **anything**_ _you want. Your brother busted your flute and your dad just said “we’ll get you a new one” like it’s no big deal, your mum drags you out on all those shopping trips and probably spends tons of money_ …

_That’s not my fault!_ Rose burst out, and a fresh wave of anguish washed over John. _It’s not_ _ **my**_ _fault my dad has lots of money, why are you punishing_ _ **me**_ _for it?!_

_I’m not—_

_Are you saying you’d like me better if I was poor?_

_No!_ John said quickly. _I just… maybe I’d be good enough for you if I was rich, too_.

_You_ _ **are**_ _good enough for me! You’re my best friend!_ Rose yelled. _I have like, two friends, John, nobody wants to be my friend because of my family. My dad makes me play with his_ _ **associates’**_ _kids, they’re the ones who come to my birthday parties, you’re the only_ _ **real**_ _friend I have! And now you’re acting the same way everyone else always acts!_

…Oh. John hunched up in bed, feeling awful. _You’re right_ , he mumbled. _I’m sorry. You’re right._

He could tell Rose was still crying as she answered. _You said you’d always be my friend_.

_And I meant it,_ John said weakly. _You’re my best friend, too. I’m just afraid you’re going to get bored with me._

_I’m **not**! Why would you think that?_

_I don’t know_. John buried his head under his blankets. He felt like such a jerk now. He hated that he had made Rose cry. _I’m sorry, Rose. I’m really sorry. I never meant to hurt your feelings, I swear. I was just…_

Scared. He was scared. He was so scared. He cared so much about Rose, and the thought that he might not be good enough for her… it terrified him.

He wanted to be good enough for Rose.

_You’re my best friend_ , Rose whimpered, and tears filled John’s eyes. He wasn’t sure if they were Rose’s or his own. _Please don’t leave me_.

_I won’t_ , John said at once. _I promise, I won’t. You’re my best friend, too. And I’ll never leave you. I promise_.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John: 14; Rose: 12

 

“Why do you read those stupid magazines?”

Rose was sitting out on the enclosed porch, her legs kicked over the arm of the chair as she skimmed the magazine someone had given her at school. No surprise, there was an article about her family in it. Thankfully, _she_ wasn’t in this one. Pete and Jackie tried to shield the kids from that part of their lives as much as they could.

She looked up when Tony came into the room, flopping down by her head with his video game. “Don’t you wanna know what people are saying about us?” She asked as she turned her attention back to the video game, ignoring the little digital sounds coming from Tony’s game.

“No, the people who write those things are dumb. And they’re really mean to Mummy.”

He had a point there. Rose frowned as she flipped through the magazine to find the article. It was about a fundraiser Pete and Jackie had attended earlier in the week. There were four entire paragraphs of the article dedicated to critiquing Jackie’s dress and body, saying she was “too big” to pull off a dress like that and pointing out, a little snottily, that she might have been better suited in something cheaper. They had even done a side by side comparison of Jackie in the dress next to another, _much_ thinner woman in the same dress.

Rose frowned, eyes furrowing. Her mother wasn’t _that_ big. She wasn’t a model or anything, but she wasn’t fat, either. Everyone always said Rose looked a lot like Jackie, and Rose wasn’t fat…

Right?

“Oh come on, you cheated!” Tony yelled at his game, snapping Rose out of her reverie. Of course she wasn’t fat. That was just stupid.

She tossed the magazine aside and closed her eyes, trying to find John. He had signed up for a tutoring job recently, and was usually busy until five or so on school days. Today was no different — she vaguely caught snippets of him trying to teach some complicated math thing that made _no_ sense to her, and instantly tuned out again.

* * * * * * * *

“Rose, love? Are you okay?”

Rose had been mostly staring at her dinner plate, frowning faintly as she pushed the food around. She wasn’t fat. Of course she wasn’t. That was silly. But she couldn’t stop thinking about it. What if those stupid magazines started talking about _her_ they way they talked about her mother? What if the kids at school saw it? She didn’t want people writing those kinds of things about her…

“Rose?” Jackie tried again, and Rose blinked, looking up from her food.

“Yeah?”

“What’s wrong, sweetheart? You’ve barely touched your dinner.”

“I’m not hungry,” Rose mumbled. “Can I go lie down?”

Jackie frowned, pressing a hand to Rose’s forehead. “You don’t have a fever. What’s wrong?”

“I just don’t feel good. Please?”

“Alright, go on. I’ll bring up some soup for you later.”

Rose nodded and slipped away from the table, slowing head upstairs. _What’s wrong?_ John asked suddenly, and Rose jumped. She hadn’t realized he was there.

 _I thought you were busy_. He’d said something about Sarah Jane having a dinner party and how he had to pay attention to that. Rose hadn’t expected to hear much from him that night.

_It’s **so** boring. It’s all her work friends, they’re talking about work stuff._

Rose knew Sarah Jane was a journalist. The thought made her stomach curl a little. Was she the kind of journalist who wrote bad things about people? _What does your aunt write?_ She asked quietly.

_I dunno, news stuff. She works for The Guardian. I think she mostly writes small news stories. Ya know, like if there’s a car accident or a robbery or something. Why?_

Rose fell into bed, curling up tight, fingers twisting around her bracelet. _Just wondering_.

 _So what’s wrong?_ John went back to his original question. _You seem upset._

 _Nothing’s wrong_. She was lying. She wasn’t sure if he could tell, though. _I’m just tired_.

_Want me to go away so you can sleep?_

_No!_ She said quickly. _Please don’t. I, um…_

She slept better when John was buzzing around in her mind. Some people need the telly or white noise or something similar to sleep.

Rose needed John’s presence.

 _Okay_ , John said quietly, and after a moment he began singing.

Telepathic singing was weird. It wasn’t _really_ singing, obviously. But John was imagining the tune and projecting it into Rose’s head while he recited the song, and it _sounded_ like singing. Rose wasn’t sure she could ever describe it to someone who had never experienced the sensation.

But it felt nice. She sighed faintly, relaxing as the words and tune washed over her mind, and she even smiled a little as she fell asleep.

John made her feel so safe.

* * * * * * * *

 _Jooooooooooohn_ , Rose whined. _Go to sleep_.

 _Gotta study,_ John mumbled back.

 _You’ve been studying_ _ **all night**_ _. I’m surprised your brain hasn’t exploded. You’re already a genius, you don’t need to study_.

John frowned, chewing on his pen. He had a huge science exam the next day, and he was worried. He’d been studying basically since he’d gotten home from his tutoring job, taking a break only for dinner.

Unfortunately his studying kept bleeding over into Rose’s head, and _she_ was trying to sleep.

A knock at John’s door drew his attention, and he looked over to see Sarah Jane peeking her head in. “Time to sleep, kiddo. You’ve studied enough.”

“Just a few more minutes,” John protested, frowning. Sarah Jane laughed a bit.

“Honestly, I wish I knew where you got your brains. It certainly wasn’t from my brother. You’re going to be _fine_ , tomorrow, and you need a good night’s sleep. You don’t want to fall asleep during the test, do you?”

She had a point. John gave in with a mumbled, “ _Fine_ ,” and stood up to get ready for bed. Sarah Jane smiled.

“Sleep well, kid.”

She pulled her head out and closed the door. John yawned as he changed into his pajamas and collapsed into bed.

 _About time_ , Rose grumbled. _Night, John_.

 _G’night, Rose_.

John’s dreams were… _weird_. He dreamt he was trying to study, but then the book came to life and declared it was going to eat him. John yelped as he ran away, and the book flapped after him like some huge, demonic version of the Monster Book of Monsters from Harry Potter. It was just about to flap down and close on him when John’s eyes snapped open, his heart pounding.

_What the **heck** was that?_

John jumped a bit at the voice. _Rose?_

_Was that a dream? Were you **dreaming** about your book eating you?_

John’s lips pulled down into a frown. _Did you see my dream?_

Rose was quiet for a moment as she thought about it. _Yeah, I guess I did? I dunno, I was dreaming about anything — I don’t_ _ **remember**_ _dreaming about anything anyways — and then suddenly I was running away from a book. But I knew it wasn’t_ _ **my**_ _dream. I could kind of tell it was yours. I don’t know how_.

John sat up, rubbing his eyes. _You saw my dream_ , he said slowly. _That’s… new._

 _Is it bad?_ Rose asked quietly.

 _No!_ John said quickly. _I mean, I don’t mind if you see my dreams. It’s just new._

Their bond was always changing and growing. It was so much stronger than it had been four years ago, when it had first developed. John supposed that was because they were growing up, and their minds were changing, their brains growing.

There was no way for them to know for sure how things were growing to change as they got older. John had been researching it, but there were _no_ cases of telepathic bonds developing in children. Rose and John were an anomaly.

And they had no idea what was going to change as they grew.

 _I wasn’t trying to see your dreams_ , Rose said quietly. _I mean, I was asleep too. I wasn’t trying to see anything. It just happened_.

That was another new development. Almost everything that happened in their bond was voluntary. There had been one time when Rose had been panicking and accidentally dragged John into her head, but their communications, and their field trips into each other’s mind, were always voluntary. It never happened without both of them wanting it.

John rolled out of bed, going to his desk and finding an empty notebook. _What’re you doing?_ Rose asked tiredly.

 _Just writing some stuff down. Go back to sleep_.

‘ _Kay_. John felt Rose fell asleep, and he smiled as he started writing.

Honestly, he should have thought of doing this so much sooner. He wrote down the date the bond had first formed — Rose’s birthday, the only reason he’d ever remember it — then under that he began writing all the significant things that had happened as the bond grew. Most of them he couldn’t remember exact dates, so he had to just go with their ages, but it was something.

The very last item on the list was that day’s date, followed by _Shared dream?_

* * * * * * * *

“Can I take off my tie pleeeeeease?” Tony begged Pete, and he sighed.

“Sorry, kiddo. If I gotta where one so do you.”

It was Jackie’s birthday, and of course there had to be a huge party for it. Tony was pulling at his tie, frowning. He hated having to wear a suit, he said they were stupid. He wasn’t wrong; he _did_ look pretty dumb in it.

“The cake’s coming out soon,” Pete assured the kids. “As soon as that’s done, you can both go upstairs.”

Rose knew that was only because the alcohol would really be coming out once the cake was out, and they didn’t want the kids around drinking adults. She wasn’t complaining, though. She hated these stupid parties. She was so glad her father didn’t care nearly as much about his birthday and getting attention.

The cake came out then, and Tony brightened up at once. No matter how miserable he was in his suit, he _loved_ cake.

They sang happy birthday to Jackie, and the cake was cut, pieces distributed. “Can I go upstairs?” Rose asked Pete. He looked down at her, surprised.

“Don’t you want a piece of cake?”

She shook her head. “I’m not hungry. Please?”

Pete frowned, pressing a hand to Rose’s forehead like he thought she was sick. “Are you feeling alright, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Please, Dad?”

He sighed, leaning in to kiss the top of her head. “Alright, go on. We’ll save you a bit.”

Rose gratefully retreated upstairs. _Since when do you skip cake?_ John asked. Rose scowled a bit.

_I just didn’t want the stupid cake. Why is that such a big deal?_

She felt John recoil a bit. _It’s not. Sorry_.

Rose kicked off her shoes as soon as she was in her room, changing into her pajamas and crawling into bed. After a moment John started singing, and she smiled a bit at that, closing her eyes.

* * * * * * * *

 _So I’ve been looking more into telepathic bonds and stuff_.

Rose rolled her eyes, smiling a bit. John had been a bit obsessed with researching telepathic bonds since the shared dream. He went through phases like this, and Rose was honestly surprised there was anything left for him to find.

 _Again?_ Rose looked up from her homework.

_Yes, again. I realized we don’t really know anything about what we can **do** with our bond. Like, we didn’t know we could see each other’s dreams._

It had happened again twice since the first time — once John had been subjected to Rose running through the woods from a wolf. And another time Rose had experienced John playing with a fifty-foot cat.

His dreams were _weird_.

_So, what’d you find?_

_Okay, well, apparently we can go into each other’s heads, and actually **see** things from one another’s point of view. So like, I could actually be in your head and see what you see and hear what you hear. I could actually go to one your music lessons and experience it for **real**._

_Really?_ Rose made a face. _Do you think_ _ **we**_ _can do that?_

_I dunno. But that’d be kind of cool, wouldn’t it? I wonder how it would feel…_

Rose twirled her pencil between her fingers, tilting her head. _Wanna try it?_

_Really? Right now?_

_Sure. I mean, the worst that’ll happen is we can’t do it, right?_ Their bond had been getting stronger, but Rose knew it wasn’t as strong as it could be.

 _Okay!_ John sounded excited. _How should we do it?_

_I dunno, you’re the one who’s been researching it. You try._

Across the city in his room, John frowned. He wasn’t sure how to go about this at _all_. He pushed his laptop aside and flopped back in bed, staring at the ceiling. After a moment he closed his eyes, trying to find his way into Rose’s head. He knew how to connect with her enough to _feel_ the things she felt. So it was only one step further from there, right…?

_Oh!_

Rose and John yelped in one voice as something clicked, and suddenly John wasn’t in his bedroom anymore. He was sitting at an unfamiliar with desk, with a workbook opened at front of him, looking out a window onto a large, sprawling lawn.

 _Whoa_ …

Rose blinked a few times. This felt _weird_. It was like he was standing right next to her, like she could reach out and touch him.

 _Are you there? Can you see?_ She asked, shaking her head a few times.

 _Yeah. Is that your backyard? It’s a_ _ **huge**_.

 _Yeah, that’s the backyard_ , Rose said, standing up so he could get a better look at yard. She looked around room next. _Wanna hear me play my flute?_

 _Yeah!_ John said excitedly, and Rose grinned as she went to retrieve the instrument, quickly putting it together. She opened her book to a random song and started playing. John fell silent, but Rose could _feel_ the awe spreading through their bond.

 _That’s gorgeous_ , he said finally, and Rose beamed.

_I’m glad you liked it._

This was certainly odd… but Rose liked it. She loved the feeling of having John right there in her head. It was weird, but she never wanted him to leave.

Of course, right then a sharp pain ran through her temples, and she cried out as John suddenly snapped out of her head again. _Oh god_ , she heard John groan. Rose whimpered, setting her flute aside so she could crawl up to her pillow and bury her face in it.

_That hurts._

_Yeah,_ John agreed. He sounded close to crying.

_Maybe we shouldn’t do that again._

_Nope_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review...?


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John: 15; Rose: 12

Rose was dying.

She was pretty convinced she was, anyways. It _felt_ like she was. Her lower stomach felt like someone was ripping it apart, and every time she tried to roll over she just felt worse. It was a little after three in the morning and she was pretty sure she wasn’t getting back to sleep.

_Rose?_

Apparently the pain was bad enough it had bled over into John’s head. He sounded groggy and half asleep. _What’s wrong? Are you okay?_

 _Yeah, I’m fine_ , Rose answered, burying her face in her pillow. She was hurting and she felt gross. The lie was obvious.

 _Why are you in so much pain?_ John demanded. _Do you think you should tell your parents? What if you’re dying?_

 _Don’t wanna move_ , Rose grumbled, curling up tighter in bed. That brought her the smallest bit of relief.

John stayed awake with Rose until it was time for each of them to get ready to school. When Rose didn’t get up, Jackie came in to check on her, coaxing her out of bed. And _that_ was when they discovered Rose had started her period in the middle of the night. Rose’s cheeks flushed a deep red. Oh _god_. John felt her embarrassment, but didn’t realize the reason for it.

_What’s wrong? Are you okay?_

_Yeah, yeah. I’m fine_.

“Please don’t make me go to school,” Rose begged Jackie. “ _Please_. My stomach hurts so bad.”

“Alright, sweetheart,” Jackie said gently, kissing Rose’s temple. “Why don’t you go take a shower and clean up? I’ll get the sheets changed for you so you can lie back down when you’re done.”

Rose nodded miserably, and went to the bathroom to shower. She was grateful to be able to get back into bed when she was done, and just curled up in a ball, trying not to cry.

 _Are you_ _ **sure**_ _you’re okay?_ John asked. She couldn’t stop the pain from rolling into his head, and she felt bad. She didn’t want to hurt him.

 _Yeah, I’m fine. Just sick_.

 _What kind of sick feels like dying?_ John demanded. Rose frowned and buried her face in her pillow, trying to sleep. John got to school, and was forced to pay attention to class, leaving Rose alone. Jackie came in to give Rose some aspirin, which eased the pain enough that she was finally able to get some sleep.

She woke up again a few hours later to the cramps coming back full force, so bad she nearly cried.

At school, John was resisting the urge to double at his desk. Logically, he knew the pain wasn’t _his_ , and nothing _he_ did would ease it. But damn did it hurt. He was convinced Rose was dying. There was no other explanation for what would cause this kind of pain. It was radiating from his lower stomach and spreading through his lower back. Everything _hurt_. There was no way Rose was _okay_ , no matter what she said.

 _Sorry_ , Rose mumbled miserably. _I don’t know how to keep it from you._

 _I don’t want you to keep it from me,_ John protested. _I just want to know you’re okay_.

 _I’m fine_.

John huffed, turning his attention back to class and trying to ignore the pain. He didn’t understand why Rose wouldn’t take this seriously. She was in so much pain. That wasn’t okay!

By the end of the day, Rose was feeling a little bit better. She was still hurting, but the pain was either more manageable, or getting better.

 _It’s not as bad now_ , Rose said when John pushed her about it.

 _What’s_ _ **wrong**_ _?_ John demanded all the same. He’d been worrying about her all day. He deserved to know the truth, Rose supposed.

 _I…_ She hesitated, feeling her cheeks turn red as she buried her face in her pillow, as if that would somehow help. _I got my period today_.

John was quiet for a moment. He wasn’t instantly repulsed, though, so Rose supposed that was good. _Okay_ , he said slowly. _Why didn’t you tell me before?_

 _Because it’s… it’s gross and boys don’t wanna hear about that_ , Rose muttered.

 _It’s not that bad_ , John protested. _It’s normal, it happens to all girls, right? I mean, I wasn’t in the girl sex ed class so I don’t know everything, but I’m pretty sure it’s normal. And besides I’m in your head. I don’t think you can really hide it from me._

He was right about that. Rose sighed, curling up and sighing. After a moment, John started singing, and she smiled.

He always knew how to cheer her up.

* * * * * * * *

John Smith knew he was attractive.

Not in an egotistical, “I’m god’s gift to the earth” way. He just knew he had a good-looking face. It was hard _not_ to know, considering he looked at it in the mirror every morning when he was getting ready for school. He had a good face. A perfectly good face, very even and symmetrical and free of blemishes. He was lucky. It was definitely a good face.

He was, however, also generally oblivious to the attention that good face got him. He didn’t care if other girls (or boys) were looking at him and seeing how attractive he was. He had Rose, and that was all he needed.

“Hey, John?”

He was sitting in the back of the cafeteria, reading and eating, and was a little annoyed by the interruption. He looked up to see a girl from his English class standing over him, shuffling nervously.

“Yeah?” He asked, setting his book aside. “What’s up?”

“Well, um… I was wondering if you would… ya know… maybe wanna go out with me.”

John made a face. “What do you mean?”

“You know, like… go see a movie or something.”

John felt an intense bolt of jealousy that definitely wasn’t his own. Was Rose upset about something? “Um… but we’re not friends,” John pointed out. He’d had said maybe five words to this girl, and they had all been when she’d asked if he had an extra pencil.

The girl blushed, mumbling something unintelligible before hurrying away. _What’s wrong?_ John asked Rose. _You seem upset_.

_You’re stupid. You know she was asking you out on a date, right?_

John nearly choked on air. _What? What do you mean she was asking me out on a date? Of course she wasn’t, that’s ridiculous._

He could almost _feel_ Rose rolling her eyes at him. _Yes, she was. She was trying to ask you out on a date. How are you so oblivious?_

John spluttered out loud, earning himself a few odd looks from kids at nearby tables. Had someone _really_ been trying to ask him out on a date? That was just… ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.

 _Do you…_ _ **want**_ _to go out with her?_ Rose’s voice was small, and a little nervous. Why, John couldn’t begin to guess?

 _No way! I mean, I don’t even know her, first of all_.

_But if you **did** know her, would you want to go out with her?_

_Of course not, why would I?_ The thought made absolutely no sense to John. _I wouldn’t have feelings for her even if I knew her_.

Rose was quiet for a long moment. _You wouldn’t?_ She finally asked, and John aggressively shook his head, then remembered Rose couldn’t see her. He forgot sometimes that she wasn’t sitting right next to him.

 _Absolutely not_.

* * * * * * * *

“What are you _doing_?”

Rose looked over her shoulder at Tony, who was standing in the door of the porch and giving her a weird look. “I’m stretching,” she said as she stretched her arms over her head, then bent over, just like she’d seen online.

“You look stupid,” Tony said. “Why are you stretching?”

“I’m going running.” Their yard was big enough that she could easily run around a few times and get some good exercise in.

“ _Why?_ ”

“I’m exercising. It’s healthy.”

“What do you need to exercise for?” Tony asked as he flopped down on the couch and opened his book to read. Rose didn’t answer, simply heading for the door.

She’d had to get a look at the girl who had been asking John out. She couldn’t help herself. It had just been a quick peek; she was pretty sure John hadn’t even noticed her there.

It had been devastating to see how pretty the other girl was.

Not that John had been even remotely interested. He’d seemed honestly baffled when Rose had pointed out that the girl had been trying to ask him on a date.

But just because he hadn’t been interested in _this_ one didn’t mean he wouldn’t be interested in the next. Rose wasn’t even that pretty, and he probably wasn’t really aware of that now — he had seen her pictures in magazines, but that didn’t really count — but he would be eventually. He wasn’t going to settle for her just because they had this bond. If he could find someone better looking, why _wouldn’t_ he go for that person instead? Why would he want to stay with Rose?

Why would anyone want to stay with Rose?

She couldn’t make herself prettier, unfortunately, but she could at least make sure she stayed skinny. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but at least if she wasn’t fat she had a better chance of John wanting her. And that was something, right?

* * * * * * * *

“Have you ever done drugs?”

The questions came so far out of left food, John actually choked on his water. “W-What?” He sputtered, coughing. “Aunt Sarah, I’m sorry, but what the _hell_?”

“Language,” Sarah Jane scolded him. John thought it was a fair reaction to an absolutely insane question, though. “Have you?”

“Of course not! Do you wanna search my room?”

“No, no…” Sarah Jane sighed. “Sorry, it’s just… someone I work with just found out her son is doing drugs, and he’s about your age, and… I just worry.”

John was a little insulted, if he was honest. He was a straight-A student, spent his afternoons tutoring, and spent his weekends in his room drawing and talking to Rose. When exactly did he have time to do drugs?

“I’m not doing drugs,” he assured Sarah Jane. “It’s not like I ever _have time_ to do them.”

Sarah Jane smiled a bit. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I’m being silly.” She leaned over, pressing a kiss to John’s cheek. “Like I said, I just worry. You’re growing up so fast. And you kids have it so much harder than I did when I was growing up…”

“Aunt _Sarah_.” John resisted the urge to roll his eyes. It was weird when she got all sappy and reflective. She laughed.

“Alright, alright. Sorry.”

John returned his attention to his meal, mind reaching out automatically to feel for Rose. She was there, of course, buzzing quietly in the back of her head. She was eating dinner too — or supposed to be, anyways.

 _What’s wrong?_ John asked with a frown. He could feel her reluctance to take another bite.

 _Nothing_.

_Why don’t you want to eat?_

_I’m just not hungry_ , Rose insisted. _I ate a lot at lunch today_.

John’s frown deepened as he tried to remember if that was true. But Rose’s lunchtime was different from his, he’d been in class. Maybe she _had_ eaten a lot. Still…

 _That was hours ago,_ John pointed out, and he felt a ripple of annoyance in response.

 _Yeah, well, I’m still full,_ Rose said shortly. Sarah Jane said something, snapping John back to reality, and he felt Rose hastily retreat. She was clearly done with the conversation.

* * * * * * * *

Periods _sucked_.

It had been four months since Rose’s first one, and they had all been equally horrible. The first day was always the worst — bad enough that she had stayed home from school for it.

Unfortunately, today she was wasting a perfectly good Saturday curled up in bed trying to not to cry.

 _Do_ _ **all**_ _women hurt this bad?_ John asked. Rose still hadn’t figured out a way to block him from the pain, which meant he shared at least part of it with her. She felt bad about that, she really did.

Mostly. Part of her — a very small, very vindictive part — was secretly pleased that he had to deal with the pain with her. It was a _very_ small part.

 _Mum said it’ll get better_ , Rose grumbled, burying her face in the pillow. _I don’t know if I believe her_.

A small ripple of amusement ran through the bond — John was laughing. _She might just be saying it to placate you._

 _I’m pretty sure she is_.

They fell silent for a few moments, and Rose smiled when John began singing. That was one thing she could always depend on — John trying to comfort her.

She was so lucky to have him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review...?


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John: 16; Rose: 14
> 
> WARNING: Body image issues

********_God, why can’t you lose weight?_ The voice in the back of Rose’s head — the one that wasn’t John, the one John didn’t know about — taunted Rose as she stared dismally the scale she was standing on. She hadn’t lost _any_ weight the last couple of weeks. How was that even possible? She’d been eating nothing but healthy food and she was running every single day. What more did she need to do?

 _What’s wrong?_ John broke Rose out of her melancholy thoughts, and she quickly stepped off the scale, grabbing a towel so she could finish drying off from her shower.

 _Nothing’s wrong_.

 _You seem upset_. He could always feel when she was upset. It made Rose a little nervous.

_Just tired. Long day. Don’t think I did well on that science test._

_Really? I’m sorry. I’ll try to help you study more next time_ , John promised. _You just seemed like you really had it down_.

 _Yeah. It’s alright. It’s just one test, not a huge deal._ Rose finished drying off and put on her robe so she could get to her room and change. She really needed to take some time to practice tonight, her last band rehearsal had been _awful_. It just felt like she didn’t have time for music anymore. She was spending a lot of time running, and she had homework, and her family _always_ seemed to have something going on…

Tonight was a blissfully quiet night. Jackie and Pete were out, leaving Tony and Rose on their own (or as on their own as they could be with an entire staff of people). They’d let the cooks go home early and the kids order a pizza, which Rose had let Tony have most of. There were _way_ too many calories in pizza, and she was having a hard enough time losing weight as it was.

And yet her stomach was _still_ growling loudly as she changed into her pajamas and got out her flute, putting it together so she could try and get a little practice in. She was so tired, and her bed looked so inviting…

 _Half an hour of practice_ , she told herself. _Then you can go to bed._

* * *

 

_What?_ Oops. Apparently she’d told John as well.

 _Talking to myself. Sorry_. The line between Rose and John was starting to get blurrier. Not that Rose minded — she loved having John in her head. It was the only comfort she had sometimes.

It just meant that talking to herself wasn’t _really_ talking to herself anymore.

 _We need to develop a code,_ John said thoughtfully. _Like, you say banana before you talk to yourself so I know not to listen._

_Why banana?_

_Why not banana?_

_Because literally any other word is better._

_What do you have against bananas?_ John sounded offended. Rose rolled her eyes, trying not to laugh.

 _I have nothing against bananas. I just think you like them a little too much_.

_Rose Tyler, I’m disappointed in you. You should know there’s no such thing as liking bananas too much._

_Oh shut up and listen to me practice if you want._

_Ooooooooh, yes please!_

Having John actually _in_ her head — instead of just being a ghostly presence — had become a little more comfortable. It still felt weird when he eased his way into her mind, but it no longer left the two of them with a blinding headache after he left.

And it was nice. But that was no surprise.

Rose put the flute to her lips and started playing.

* * * * * * * *

_Do you ever wonder what I look like?_

Rose was lying in bed, trying to sleep. She was tired, but sleep just wouldn’t come. She suspected it had something to do with how hungry she was.

Apparently John couldn’t sleep either. No surprise. Usually _he_ was the reason Roes was still awake.

 _Hmmm?_ Rose said, blinking as she turned her attention to him.

 _I mean, we’ve been talking for six years. I kinda know what you look like from magazines and stuff, but your parents are always blocking the camera_.

 _I’m sure you could find better pictures of me online_. One of the “perks” of having a famous father.

 _I don’t want to, though_. The answer surprised Rose. _I mean, I want to know what you look like_ , John amended quickly. _But I want_ _ **you**_ _to be the one to show me. I don’t want to go looking it up online like some kind of creep. That’s weird. Also, you never answered question_.

Right, the question that had started this. Rose curled up a bit tighter in bed. _I kinda feel like I know what you look like_ , she said after a minute. _I mean, I don’t know specifics or anything, I just… get these feelings. Like I feel like your tall, and you have brown hair that you probably never comb. Stuff like that._

 _Same_ , John admitted. _But it’s not the same as actually seeing each other face to face_.

Rose’s heart skipped a beat. _Do you…_ _ **want**_ _to meet each other face to face?_ She asked slowly.

 _Oh, I’d love to_. He sounded so sincere and innocent. _I don’t know how we would, though_.

Yeah, that was a problem. Neither of them drove, and Rose had an escort basically everywhere — another “perk.” She’d have a hard time explaining why she wanted to go see a sixteen-year-old boy she didn’t appear to have a single connection with.

 _Maybe when I’m eighteen_ , she said with a sigh. _I’ll be in university, then, and I really want to live on campus. Maybe I’ll get a bit more freedom then_.

 _Yeah_. John sighed.

_Are you disappointed?_

_No, no!_ John said quickly. _It just sort of sucks we can’t see each other. I mean, I guess we could tell people about our bond, we’re probably old enough now that people might listen to us, but_ …

His voice drifted off. He couldn’t put into words what he meant, but Rose understood. She didn’t want to tell anyone either. She didn’t know how her parents would react to finding out she had a soulmate bond with someone — they were already trying to set up with friends’ kids. What would they say when they learned that option was off the table? That she had a bond with some stranger they had never heard of?

Rose liked what she had with John. She liked this little secret. _Their_ secret. She didn’t want to ruin it just yet.

 _I do want to see you_ , Rose said after a moment, sighing faintly. _I just don’t know how_.

John fell quiet for a moment. _Phones!_ He exclaimed after a moment. _We can exchange numbers! I can send you a picture!_

Rose lit up. _Brilliant!_ She grabbed her mobile, quickly telling John her number. A moment later, her mobile buzzed as an unfamiliar number texted her. She opened the text, and found herself looking at a picture of John for the very first time.

Oh god, he was _so_ handsome. His hair was on end, like he’d run his fingers through it too many times, his eyes a sharp brown, lit up and _so_ happy.

He was far too good for Rose.

 _Your turn!_ John said happily. _I mean, if you want_.

 _I do!_ Rose assured him. _Hang on_.

She flipped on her light and ran to grab her brush, quickly brushing out her hair. It was a complete mess — she had been tossing and turning for hours. She put on just a _bit_ of makeup, trying to move fast before John questioned what could be taking her so long.

Finally she was ready. She turned on her phone camera and turned it to face her, snapping a quick picture. She still thought she looked pretty awful, but she sent it to John anyways, bracing herself.

John’s reaction wasn’t verbal. It washed through Rose’s mind, completely and utterly awed, and quite honestly it stole Rose’s breath away.

 _You’re…beautiful_ , he finally said, and it was impossible for Rose to think he was lying. She had _felt_ his reaction, after all.

 _Really?_ Her voice was small and uncertain. Could he really think that?

_You are! But do you sleep in makeup? That’s kind of silly._

Rose giggled a bit as she hurried to the bathroom to wash the makeup off. _No, I just put a little on. I look better with it._

 _I doubt that_ , John protested. _Come on, send me another one. Pleeeeeeeeeeease?_

Rose couldn’t say no to that. She returned to her room and reluctantly took another photo, sending it to John. _See, told you_ , John said happily. _You’re beautiful without makeup, too_.

Rose blushed deeply, ducking her head. She still didn’t quite believe him. But he was so adamant…

It made her feel a little better, at least.

Her phone buzzed again, and she opened her texts to find a picture of John make a silly face at the camera, and a message that said, “You’re thinking too much!”

Rose laughed, taking a picture of herself sticking her tongue out and writing back, “Look who’s talking. You dream about your books eating you!”

* * * * * * * *

John smiled, a bit stupidly, at his mobile. He had made his background one of the pictures Rose had sent him. She was currently “absence” (she had been dragged off to a dinner by her parents, and unfortunately she had to pay attention. John could feel her boredom, but they couldn’t actually talk), and having the picture to look at made him miss her a little less.

Of course, he was well aware of how creepy this would see to anyone on the outside who saw his background. People _knew_ Rose; they would probably see him as some kind of crazy stalker person, lusting after the beautiful Vitex heiress who didn’t even know he existed.

Honestly, the thought of that kind of amused him.

He returned his attention to his drawing — now that he had an actual _good_ shot of Rose’s face, drawing her had become so much easier. Not that he could ever do her justice — she was _beautiful_ , and no amount of pencil or shading could capture that. But drawing her had become a pastime for him. It relaxed him, and helped him clear his mind.

Hopefully Rose wouldn’t think it was too creepy.

John twiddled his pencil between his fingers, chewing on the eraser. It was a bad habit he really had to work on. After a moment he closed the sketchbook with a sigh, picking up his mobile so he could look at the real thing.

God, he loved her so much.

It wasn’t something he got to think about much — he didn’t want Rose to intrude on his thoughts and freak out, after all — but it was _true_. It wasn’t just because of their bond, either; there were plenty of cases of people who had some sort of soulmate bond and just didn’t fall in love. That wasn’t what this was, though. Rose made John _happy_. Thinking about her made him smile, no matter how bad of a day he was having. He could talk to her for hours on end, and never get bored or want a way out of the conversation (which happened with basically anyone else, even Sarah Jane). She was smart, and funny, and easy to talk to, and beautiful inside and out.

And John loved her.

A bolt of annoyance shot through John, and for a moment he panicked, thinking Rose had caught him in his thoughts. _What’s wrong?_ He asked.

 _Mum is making me eat dessert_ , Rose grumbled back.

 _But dessert is the best part of dinner! That’s why you_ _ **eat**_ _dinner, to get to dessert!_ John said exuberantly. _What’s dessert?_

 _Chocolate cake! There’s a_ _ **ton**_ _of calories in chocolate cake, and she’s_ _ **still**_ _making me eat it_.

John frowned at that. _Are you… on a diet or something?_ That didn’t make much sense to him. She was already bone thin, what weight could she possibly need to lose?

 _I just don’t want to eat chocolate cake, I don’t see what the big deal is_ , Rose said, annoyed. John made a face. He’d noticed Rose had been a pit pickier about her food lately — what she ate, how much she ate, and so on — and honestly had just assumed she was on a diet. But after seeing an actual picture of her… she didn’t _need_ to lose weight. She was fine just the way she was.

So what was going on with her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review...?


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John: 17; Rose: 15
> 
> WARNING: Body image issues, eating disorders

 

 

John ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head and sighing. He was having the worst time focusing. And as much as he hated to say it, it was Rose’s fault. Because _she_ couldn’t focus. Because she was hungry.

 _Maybe you should actually eat dinner tonight_. He didn’t mean for it to come out so sarcastically. But she had skipped dinner every night this week and it was clearly effecting her.

 _I’m not hungry_ , Rose insisted weakly. She was trying to practice — she had a big concert coming up in a couple weeks — but her music sheet kept blurring, the notes running together.

John was right. She was hungry.

But she was also losing weight, and that was all that mattered. It wasn’t enough yet, but it was something.

 _Please eat_ , John said quietly. He was really worried about Rose. She was skipping more meals than ever and exercising way too much. There was no way this was at all healthy. And he didn’t know what to do to help her. But he was scared.

 _I’m fine. I’m not hungry_. Rose put her flute to her lips again and tried to focus on playing. She was fine. She just needed to keep telling John — and herself — that.

She was fine.

* * * * * * * *

Rose scrubbed her eyes, taking a few deep breaths. _You need to eat_ , John said firmly. _I’m serious, you can’t keep doing this_.

_I’m—_

_Don’t tell me you’re fine, Rose! You’re **not** fine, you are **clearly** not fine! When was the last time you ate? I don’t even remember!_

He sounded frustrated. Rose’s shoulder hunched up a bit, and she returned her attention to the teacher, tuning John out. She could just… deal with that later.

She had no idea what to say to him about it, if she was honest. She _was_ fine. She was losing weight, and that was all that mattered.

The bell rang, and Rose gathered up her things, grabbing her bag and standing. The minute she stood, she felt like blood had rushed her head, and she wavered unsteadily, staggering…

Then everything went black.

A wave of dizziness washed over John, and for a moment his vision blacked out. When it came back, he was on the floor, a few students standing to see if he was okay and his teacher calling, “John? What’s wrong?”

John barely noticed any of that. _Rose?_ Something was wrong. She wasn’t there. Even when she was sleeping he could still feel her but now she was just gone. _Rose!_

“John?” The teacher said again. “What’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing,” John stuttered, grabbing the desk to try and pull himself up.

“Do you need the nurse?”

“Um… maybe,” John mumbled. “I can get their on my own.”

His teacher didn’t look particularly sure about that. But John knew there wasn’t anything wrong with _him_. He grabbed his bag and hurried out of the classroom, head still spinning. It was the first time he had been completely alone in his head in seven years.

And it felt _awful_.

John burst into the bathroom, grateful to find it empty, and slumped against the sinks, running a hand through his hair. _Rose?_ He tried again. _Rose, where are you? Rose!_

Nothing. Where _was_ she? What had happened? Was she okay? Guilt welled up in John. This was all his fault. He had _known_ something was wrong, and he hadn’t said anything. He hadn’t done enough to help her.

Why hadn’t he done more?

* * * * * * * *

Rose groaned as consciousness returned in small steps. First she became aware of the fact that she had a body, and it didn’t feel right. Then she realized she was lying on something uncomfortable. Then she heard a woman calling, “Rose?”

Then she heard another voice exclaim, _**Rose!**_

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Rose accidentally mumbled out loud. She’d meant to answer John. _I’m okay_ , she repeated to John as she finally found the strength to open her eyes and found the school nurse leaning over, frowning.

“I would say you’re a good long way from okay,” she said gently. “You fainted in class. Your father’s on his way to pick you up.”

“Brilliant,” Rose mumbled as she sat up, rubbing her head. She had a headache, and everything _hurt_. Probably from falling, her mind managed to reason.

John, she noticed, was being strangely quiet. She had expected questions, demands to know if she was okay, what had happened. But he had said nothing since his initial outburst.

 _John?_ She questioned quietly. His mind hummed a bit in response to his name, but he gave no other reaction. _What’s wrong?_

 _Nothing_ , he replied. _You should get some rest._

Rose frowned as the nurse directed her to lie back down and rest until her father got there. John seemed… mad. Was he mad at her for passing out? She wasn’t sure why he would be, but it hurt all the same. Maybe he was thinking he didn’t want to be bonded to someone so weak that she couldn’t handle a couple days without eating. Maybe he was thinking about how he couldn’t love someone who was weak.

Rose was grateful when her father arrived, demanding to know what had happened. It was a welcome distraction from the thoughts she couldn’t shake.

“I just got dizzy, is all,” she mumbled as she sat up. “I’m fine.”

“I would recommend taking her home and making sure she gets a good meal,” the nurse told Pete. “And then some rest. If she still isn’t feeling better after she eats, I would suggest taking her to the doctor.

Rose made a face at the mention of eating, slowly grabbing her bag and pulling her jacket on. Hopefully Pete wouldn’t hover and try to watch her eat.

“How are you feeling, love?” Pete asked gently, pressing a hand to Rose’s forehead. She didn’t have a fever, of course. It just seemed to be an instinct for him.

“I’m alright, really,” Rose insisted. She wavered a bit when she stood, her vision going a bit hazy, but she managed to stay upright. Pete kept an arm around her shoulders as he led her out of the school. John was still quiet, and Rose was starting to get scared. Why wasn’t he saying anything? He didn’t even seem to care that she was okay.

* * * * * * * *

Rose was never going to forgive John for this.

He stared dismally out the bus window as the city flew by, finally arriving at his stop. He hooked his bag over his shoulder, hopping off the bus. He felt bad about being distant with Rose, but he wanted to keep her from figuring out what he was doing for as long as he could.

She was going to be so mad at him. He honestly didn’t know how he was going to handle it. But he had to do _something_.

It was a bit of walk from the bus stop to the Tyler mansion. The address had been _surprisingly_ easy to find. He found it hard to believe the family wasn’t more security conscious. There wasn’t even a gate, he realized when he arrived at the end of their driveway. Not that he was complaining — it made getting in a _lot_ easier.

Of course, he realized as he rang the doorbell that he had absolutely no idea what to say. _Hi I’m your daughter’s telepathic bond mate and I think she has some kind of eating problem?_ He was fairly certain whoever answered the door wouldn’t hesitate to call the cops on him.

Too late now, though. The door was opening. He was surprised to see Pete Tyler answering his own front door. Surely they had people for that?

“Hello?” Pete said, raising an eyebrow. John opened his mouth to say something. Nothing came out.

_What the **HELL** are you doing?!_

John winced. Rose had realized where he was. _I’m doing what I should have done already_ , John returned before tuning Rose out. He had about thirty seconds before she came running downstairs. He needed to make this count.

“Sir, I’m sorry, I know this is going to sound weird, but I know your daughter and I think she’s hurting herself,” he rushed out, finishing right as Rose came running into the room, looking nearly ready to kill him.

This was the first time he was seeing her in person. And it would very likely be the last.

“What?” Pete said, nonplussed, looking back at his daughter. “Rose, what’s wrong? What’s he talking about?”

“Don’t you _dare_ —” Rose practically snarled at John, ignoring her father. John spoke louder to cut her off.

“She hasn’t eaten anything in nearly two days, she’s been skipping meals, she’s completely obsessed with losing weight, it’s all she thinks about.”

“And how do you know that?” Pete demanded. John’s gaze shifted back to Rose. Her expression had gone from murderous to… scared. How did John plan on explaining this?

He took a deep breath before refocusing on Pete. “We have a telepathic bond. We’ve had it for seven years.”

Shattered. Rose was completely and utterly shattered. John could feel it, and he could see it in her expression. He had just told someone their biggest secret, and it had been her _father_.

It was practically a betrayal.

Pete looked between John and Rose for a moment. “Rose?” He finally said, quietly. “Is this true?”

John felt Rose’s sudden desire to deny it, to claim she had no idea who this boy was, pass through his mind. But it was gone as soon as it formed. Rose’s eyes were slowly filling with tears, betraying her.

“You promised you would never tell,” she whispered instead, eyes fixed on John. He looked away, unable to meet her gaze.

“I’m sorry.”

Silence fell for a moment. “Jackie?” Pete finally called. “Can you come in here for a minute?”

Rose’s mother came in a moment later, looking rightly confused. “What’s going on?” She asked. John chewed on the inside of his cheek, eyes fixed on the floor. His own mind was being flooded by the myriad of emotions running through Rose’s head, and he didn’t entirely trust himself to speak.

“Let’s uh… let’s move to the study,” Pete suggested. “I’m sorry, what was your name?”

“John,” John mumbled. He followed the family to the study, purposely ignoring Rose’s glare.

“What’s going on?” Jackie demanded immediately. John wasn’t sure how to answer that. Thankfully, Pete turned to Rose.

“Is what he’s saying true?”

Rose didn’t answer either. She was still glaring at John, and he could feel her fury.

She was really never going to forgive him.

_I had to tell them._

_You did **not**._

_You’re killing yourself, Rose, why don’t you see it?!_ John didn’t mean to sound so frustrated, he just… didn’t understand. _Why don’t you see how wrong this is?!_

_It’s not—!_

“Can someone please _talk_?” Jackie Tyler demanded, and John’s head finally snapped up to meet Rose’s burning, furious gaze. He didn’t look away as he spoke.

“Rose has been starving herself. For months.” Years, really. It had just been so gradual, John hadn’t noticed until it was too late.

He would never forgive himself for that.

“And how do you know this?” That was a fair question. John took a deep breath before answering.

“Rose and I have a telepathic bond. We’ve had it for years. I’ve seen her skipping meals and refusing food. She passed out today because she hasn’t eaten in two days.”

Jackie whipped around to look at Rose. “Is that true?” Rose didn’t tear her gaze away from John and didn’t answer. “Rose Marion Tyler, answer me. Is it true you haven’t been eating?”

Rose continued to glare as she answered. “Yes.”

“Why _not_?” Again, no answer. “Well, this is ridiculous. You’re going to eat right now, I’ll have the cook make—”

“No.” Jackie cut off abruptly, gaping at her daughter.

“What?”

“No. I’m not going to eat.”

“Why in the world _not_?”

Rose’s mind seemed to whip up at that, and John nearly got mental whiplash trying to keep track of all the things she was thinking. “Because I don’t want to,” was the answer she finally settled for. “I don’t need to eat. I’m fine.”

“The hell you are! Look at you! You’re thin as a rail!”

“At least no one is writing in magazines about how _I_ should have skipped dessert!” Rose snapped back, finally tearing her gaze away from John to turn on her mother.

“And what exactly is _that_ supposed to mean?” Jackie’s voice had gone dangerously low.

“Exactly what it sounds like,” Rose shot back. “I’m not going to be a joke like you are.”

“ _Rose_ ,” Pete cut in, resting a hand on Jackie’s shoulder. “I thought we taught you not to listen to those magazines. It doesn’t matter what they write.”

“Yes, it does! _Everybody_ reads them!”

“That doesn’t mean they matter.”

“Well I’m not letting them humiliate _me_!”

John tried to reach out to comfort Rose, only to be surprised when she abruptly shoved him out of her mind. When had she learned to do _that_?

_Rose—_

“This is all your fault!” She turned on John again, not even bothering with the bond.

“I had to tell them!”

“I’m glad he did,” Pete said quietly. “Rose, you need to eat.”

The anger drained from Rose’s expression and mind, leaving her looking and feeling hopelessly lost. That hurt worse than the anger. “I just want to be skinny,” she whispered. “What’s wrong with that?”

“You already _are_ skinny, love.”

“Not enough,” Rose insisted. “It’s not enough.”

“How long has this been going on?” Pete asked John. He must have known he wouldn’t get a straight answer from his daughter, but that still caught John off guard.

“I… I think a few years,” he stuttered. “I don’t remember exactly when it started.”

Jackie and Pete exchanged looks. Rose was practically shaking in anger. “You _promised,_ ” she hissed, and John winced.

“Rose,” Pete said gently. “He did the right thing.”

Rose stormed out of the room, slamming the study door behind her. John ran his hands through his hair. _Rose, please—_

 _Don’t talk to me_ , Rose snapped. _Don’t you dare talk to me_.

“I don’t believe her!” Jackie burst out, breaking the silence in the study.

“She doesn’t need you yelling at her right now,” Pete told his wife quietly.

“I know, I know. I know.” Jackie made a frustrated noise. “How did we not notice this?”

Pete just shook his head, turning to John. “Thank you.” He sounded sincere. John just nodded.

“Right, who are you again?” Jackie asked. That was a fair question. John hadn’t exactly explained it well.

“Um… my name is John,” he mumbled. “Rose and I have a telepathic bond.”

“That’s not possible,” Jackie insisted. “You’re both too young.”

John shrugged a bit. “I don’t know how to explain it. We’ve had it for years, though.”

Jackie didn’t look particularly convinced. John didn’t care. He was still trying to get Rose to talk to him. _I had to tell them,_ he said uselessly. _I had to, Rose_.

 _I hate you_ , Rose snapped. _Leave me alone_.

 _Rose!_ John said desperately. _Rose, please, I’m begging you_ —

He was stunned when what felt like a wall slammed up between him and Rose, and pain roared to life in his head, sharp and hot, like his mind was on fire.

“Do you need a ride home?” He vaguely heard Pete saying. “I can call my driver for you—”

“No,” John said distantly, standing up and hooking his bag over his shoulder. “I’m fine. I’ll take the bus.”

Pete tried to protest, but John left before he could.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John: 17; Rose: 15
> 
> Warning for: Eating disorder, body image issues

“Where’ve you been?” Sarah Jane demanded as John walked through the door, well after nine. “School called and said you collapsed and then just disappeared, you didn’t show up for your tutoring session, you weren’t answering your phone—”

John barely heard her as she listed all the things he had failed to do since abruptly leaving school that day to take a bus across the city to talk to Rose’s parents. His head was pounding — Rose was still forcing him out, but he could vaguely feel her. She was arguing with her parents about eating.

“John!”

He shook his head, attention snapping back to Sarah Jane. “What?”

“Where _were_ you?” Sarah Jane wasn’t the type to get angry, usually. But she had a right, John supposed. He had been AWOL all day, after all. She had every right to be angry.

“I…” He didn’t know how to answer that. His head hurt, Rose refused to speak to him, and the world felt like it was falling down around his ears.

Something in his expression softened Sarah Jane’s anger. She stood up, pulling him into a tight hug. John let out a shuddering breath, his bag slipping from his limp shoulder as he buried his face in Sarah Jane’s shoulder.

And he cried.

* * *

 

It was stupid. Seventeen years old and crying on his aunt’s shoulder. It was so stupid. But he was also _so_ overwhelmed. He just needed this moment of weakness.

“What’s wrong, love?” Sarah Jane whispered, pushing his hair back. John shook his head. He didn’t know what to say, how to explain all of this. “Come on, it’s alright. Sit down.”

She gently pushed him into a chair, and went to make some tea while John collected himself. She returned with a mug, handing it to him and sitting down. “What’s going on?” She asked quietly. John took a sip of his tea and took a deep breath.

“I… I have a telepathic bond with someone.” Sarah Jane blinked, clearly stunned. “Her name is Rose, we’ve had the bond since I was ten, she’s two years younger than me, it just sorta… happened one day. Suddenly I could hear what she was thinking.”

Sarah Jane stared at John for a long moment. “You’re serious,” she said finally, slowly. John nodded. “Okay. Go on.”

“Well, the last few years she’s kind of… slowly stopped eating. It was really small stuff at first, she would just skip dessert or something, but then it started getting worse. She fainted at school today because she hasn’t eaten anything in so long, so I… went to her house and told her parents everything.”

“Have you… been to her house before?” John shook his head. “How did you find her, then? Did she tell you where she lives?”

“She’s… kind of… the Vitex heiress.”

Sarah Jane’s mouth fell open. “You’re _joking_.”

John didn’t bother answering. “She’s _so_ mad at me. She won’t even talk to me. She’s blocked me out somehow, it really hurts. I don’t know what to do.”

He said that last part miserably, sniffing and wiping his eyes. Sarah Jane scooted forward to wrap him in another hug.

“You did the right thing,” she assured him gently. “I know it doesn’t seem that way, but you did.”

“She’s never gonna forgive me…”

“I’m sure she will. With time.”

John tentatively reached out to Rose again, only to be once again shoved back.

And he was absolutely positive that Sarah Jane was wrong.

* * * * * * * *

Rose was curled up tight in bed, staring blankly at the wall. Her parents had, apparently, given up trying to argue with her. For now, at least. She was sure they’d be back soon.

This was all John’s fault. She hated him so much. How could he tell them? How could he betray her like that?

_Rose—_

_Leave. Me._ _ **Alone,**_ Rose snarled, and her head twinged as she once again pushed John out. She wasn’t really sure _how_ she was doing it — she was just so angry, and she didn’t want him in her head.

It hurt to push him out, though.

There was a knock at Rose’s door, and she pulled the blanket over her head, refusing to answer. “Rose?” It was Pete. At least it wasn’t Jackie. Rose still didn’t answer, but it didn’t matter. She heard the door open as Pete carefully stepped in.

“Rose…” Pete sat down on the edge of the bed. “Please talk to me, love.”

Rose pulled the blanket tighter around herself.

“I want to help. Your mother wants to help. We’re worried about you.”

“You didn’t even notice.” The words were undeniably bitter. She had always been happy that her parents hadn’t noticed her starving herself. But it just went to show how little attention they actually paid her, didn’t it? They were so busy with their own lives, and with Tony, who was always getting in trouble at school, that they didn’t notice their daughter killing herself.

“You’re right,” Pete admitted. “We didn’t notice. It took a stranger showing up on our doorstep to point it out to us. But that doesn’t mean we don’t care. We still want to help you, Rose. You know we love you.” Rose didn’t answer. “Please come downstairs and eat. The cook made soup.”

Rose didn’t answer. She didn’t want to eat. Why was that such a problem? Why couldn’t everyone just leave her alone?

Pete sighed. “We made an appoint tomorrow with the doctor.”

Rose finally shot up at that, throwing the blanket away. “ _What_?”

“You need to see a doctor,” Pete said firmly. “That’s not up for debate.”

Rose glared at Pete before dragging her blankets back over her head.

This was all John’s fault.

* * * * * * * *

John stared blankly at his notebook. He was supposed to be taking notes, but he couldn’t focus. He was trying to figure out what was going on with Rose. She was unhappy and still blocking him out, but he was catching bits and pieces of what was going on. He knew she was at the doctor’s — she was angrier about that than she was at John, and the fury was bleeding through.

She still wouldn’t talk to him, though. And it hurt. In more ways than one.

So he was surprised, to say the least, when Rose was suddenly _very_ there in his head, yelling, _This is all your fault!_

He jumped so bad it shook the desk. _What?!_ He yelped.

 _They wanna put me in the bloody hospital!_ John’s stomach dropped at that. _They’re acting like I’m crazy!_

_I’m sure they don’t think you’re crazy—_

Too late. Rose was already snapping John out of her head again. He dropped his head in his hands, giving up all attempts to focus on school.

She really was never going to forgive him.

* * * * * * * *

Rose felt sick.

She couldn’t believe her parents were _actually_ considering putting her a hospital. Like she was some kind of nutter. She wasn’t crazy, she just wanted to be thin. What was wrong with that? What was wrong with not wanting to be mocked and made fun of magazines? Why was everyone acting like it was so unreasonable to just want to skinny?

And _John_. Of all the people she thought she could trust, John had been at the top of the list. How could he do this to her? He knew _all_ of her secrets, how was she ever supposed to trust him again? He could be at school right _now_ , telling everyone all about being bonded to the _Vitex heiress_ and spreading all of her secrets. Hell, he could probably making a fortune selling stories to those stupid rag mags.

What if he had never really been her friend at all?

Rose pressed her hands into her face, trying not to cry. She wanted to be angry — at John, at her parents, at everyone — and crying in the back seat of her mother’s car wasn’t going to accomplish anything. She was just so tired and miserable, though. It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair.

And there was no one left she could talk to about it.

* * * * * * * *

Rose’s anguish washed over John, and he closed his eyes, letting out a shuddering breath. He wanted so badly to reach out to her, to comfort her, to let her know that he was there, and she could talk to him.

But she would never believe that now. She wouldn’t even let him in her head now. She’d probably never speak to him again. He’d probably helped her…

But he had also ruined everything between them.

It was a relief when the day finally ended. John canceled his tutoring session, apologizing profusely to the poor kid and promising to tutor him extra, no charge, over the weekend. He just couldn’t handle trying to focus on helping someone right then.

Instead he went straight home, dragging himself upstairs and collapsing into bed. He could feel Rose’s anger seeping around the barriers — she was probably arguing with her parents again — but he didn’t try and probe too deeply into it. That would just hurt more.

Sarah Jane came in to check on him when she got home, and simply tucked him into bed when he didn’t move or respond to her.

She knew he was having a hard time.

* * * * * * * *

Closed off in the safety of her room, Rose buried her face in her pillow, finally allowing herself to cry. She had informed her parents that under no circumstances would she be going to any _hospital_. She refused. They couldn’t make her. They _wouldn’t_ make her.

She knew they were downstairs talking about it now. She didn’t care. She wasn’t going to any stupid hospital. She didn’t need a hospital. She was fine.

Someone knocked on her door. She ignored it. Of course her door opened anyways. “Rose?” A small voice asked. Tony. For some reason that enraged Rose.

“Go _away_!” She snapped, throwing her pillow at the door. She heard a muted thud as it hit the wood, but she didn’t bother waiting to see if Tony had left. She just assumed he would.

So it was a bit of a surprise when she felt her bed dip, and Tony wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tight. She didn’t have the energy to yell at him again.

Instead, she cried.

“Mum and Dad said you’re sick,” Tony whispered. Rose tried to disagree, but she couldn’t speak. “Is that why you haven’t been eating a lot?” _That_ surprised Rose, enough to momentarily snap her out of her sobbing. How had Tony noticed, but her parents never had? “You need to eat, Rose. It’s good for you.”

It was so simple for him. No one ever judged Pete for his weight. And no one would ever judge Tony, either. He was scrawny and couldn’t keep weight if he tried. No one would ever write scathing comments about _his_ weight in magazines…

“Are you gonna die, Rose?”

Rose blinked, stunned, and finally turned to look at Tony. He looked so scared. “’Cause that’s what happens when you’re sick and you don’t go to a doctor, isn’t it? You die?”

Rose looked at him for a long moment, then down at herself. Everyone else certainly seemed convinced she was killing herself…

She just didn’t see it.

“I don’t want you to die,” Tony continued, not at all hindered by his sister’s lack of answer. “I like you better alive.”

Tears filled Rose’s eyes, and she wiped them away, sniffing. “I don’t wanna die, either,” she mumbled after a moment.

And that was the truth.

* * * * * * * *

Letting her parents hospitalize her was probably the hardest thing Rose had ever done.

It was an upscale place, of course — a “rehab center” more than a hospital. That was what they said anyways. Only the best for the fucked up Vitex heiress, Rose thought bitterly. She had her own private room and everything.

Brilliant.

She didn’t get much sleep the first night there. She was tired, but she couldn’t make her brain shut off enough to sleep. She was pretty sure part of that was John’s fault — the connection was still muted, but things were still leaking through from his end. Especially his insomnia. He had barely slept in a week.

And Rose knew that because she had suffered through it with him.

She was still furious with him, though, and she refused to acknowledge it. It wasn’t like she could help anyways. He wasn’t sleeping. There was nothing she could except suffer in silence with him.

She had her first therapy session first thing the next morning. “Hello Rose,” the therapist, a kindly older woman, said as she walked in. Rose fidgeted in her seat, hands curled tightly in her lap.

“’Lo,” she mumbled.

“My name’s Dr. Taylor. I’ll be working with you while you’re here. How are you today?” Rose didn’t answer, keeping her eyes on the floor. “I know you’re not very happy about being here.” Rose shrugged. “Why don’t you tell me why you’re here.”

“Because my parents want me to be.”

“Well, yes,” the therapist said slowly. “But why do they want you to be here?”

Rose’s fingers clenched in her lap, and miles away, John felt a rush of anger that wasn’t his own run through his head. He didn’t need to wonder too hard at what it was about. That was a special kind of anger reserved only for him.

“Because they think I have an eating problem,” Rose said through gritted teeth.

“And you don’t think you do. Clearly,” Dr. Taylor said.

“Of course I don’t. That’s stupid.”

“Why is it stupid?”

Rose huffed, frustrated. “Girls with eating problems are… they’re skinny, and sick. They count calories and eat fruits and vegetables and nothing else.”

“And that’s not you.”

“Not at all,” Rose insisted. “I’m not… I’m not any of that.”

Okay, so she counted calories. Big deal. That didn’t mean anything. Plenty of people counted calories.

There was nothing wrong with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review...?


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John: 17/18; Rose: 15/16
> 
> WARNINGS FOR: Eating disorders, body image issues

John’s head hurt.

After a month, he had become used to it. Rose had been forcing him out of her head, and apparently that caused headaches. Every now and again — when her guard was down or she was distracted by something else — John would get brief glimpses into her life, but she almost always immediately caught him and threw him back out.

John didn’t even know where she was finding the energy to do this. He was the one being blocked and _he_ was exhausted. He couldn’t even imagine what it was doing to him.

Sarah Jane found him in his bedroom, his head resting on his book, and went to get the aspirin. “Do you think maybe you could visit and talk to her?” She asked quietly as she handed John the bottle. In a lot of ways, it was freeing to have her know his big secret now.

“She’s probably in one of those super expensive, high-security places,” John said, just a little bitterly. “Besides, she wouldn’t talk to me.”

Sarah Jane sighed, kissing his temple. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. She honestly couldn’t even imagine what John was going through right then.

But she knew he was unhappy. And she hated that she couldn’t help.

* * * * * * * *

“Why did you stop eating, Rose?”

Rose looked up at her therapist, frowning faintly. What kind of stupid question was that? “Because I want to lose weight.”

“There are more effective ways of losing weight than starving yourself. I’m sure if you had asked your parents they could have helped you with a diet.”

“They would’ve just told me I didn’t need a diet.”

“And you think you do, obviously.”

“Of course I do,” Rose burst out. She didn’t understand why there was a question about that. “Look at me.”

“I am looking at you, Rose,” the therapist said gently. “You’re not overweight.”

Rose didn’t answer. They had already had this discussion several times, and Rose already knew the therapist was convinced she was unhealthily _under_ weight, if anything.

But she was wrong. Rose knew she was wrong.

“How did this start?” The therapist asked after a moment, realizing Rose wasn’t going to answer. “When did it start?”

Rose sighed, looking down at her lap, her fingers twisting together. “A few years ago,” she mumbled. “You know those stupid gossip magazines?”

“I do.”

“They talk about my parents a lot. Especially my mum. She’s bigger, and they make fun of her for it.”

“And you’re afraid they’ll make fun of you as well?” The therapist guessed. Rose nodded.

“They don’t talk much about me or my brother now because we don’t go out much, but they will. I’m not gonna give them anything to talk about.”

* * * * * * * *

_Vitex heiress in rehab_

John sighed as he rifled through the stupid magazine. It hadn’t taken long for these vultures to get their hands on just enough information to hang Rose.

Jerks.

“Probably drugs,” John heard the woman in line behind them say to her companion. “All those rich brats are the same, they’ll be locking their son up before long, too—”

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” John snapped as he rounded on the woman, ripping the magazine out of her hands with enough force to actually tear the pages. “So shut up and get a god damn life.”

“John!” Sarah Jane scolded him. John threw the magazine aside and stormed out, ignoring the woman telling Sarah Jane she needed to teach her kid some manners. He threw himself on a bench outside of the store, so angry he was shaking. Who the _fuck_ did people think they were? Gossiping about and judging people they had never even met!

“I understand it upsets you when people talk about Rose like that,” Sarah Jane said when she came out a few minutes later. “But yelling at people in line at a grocery store isn’t going to accomplish anything.”

“Sanctimonious bitch,” John spat.

“ _Watch_ the language,” Sarah Jane scolded him. “I know you’re hurting, but this isn’t the way to deal with it. Let’s go.”

John was scowling the entire time home. His head was hurting, of course — he could feel Rose, but it was muted and he couldn’t actually make anything out.

He hated this so much.

John went straight to his room as soon as they got home, closing the door and putting his headphones on, turning the music up full blast. He didn’t want to think about anything right then.

Despite Rose’s best efforts to ignore John, she still heard the music drifting through her mind and looked up from the book she was trying to read. After a moment she carefully reached out to John, hoping he wouldn’t notice. But he only ever listened to music this loud when he was upset about something.

And it bothered Rose to think about John so unhappy.

She couldn’t press it too much — she didn’t want John to know she was there — but she could tell he was having a rough time. Guilt ran through her, her fingers twisting her bracelet around her wrist as she wondered if that was her fault. It seemed conceded to think that…

But she also had a feeling she was right.

John rolled onto his side, stretching his arm out and staring dismally at his own bracelet. He wasn’t even sure why he was still wearing it. Sure, he had promised he would never take it off, but what did that matter _now_? Rose hated him. Rose would probably never speak to him again. He had ruined _everything_ just because he’d thought he was doing the right thing. Maybe he should have left it alone. Maybe Rose would have gotten better on her own. And she certainly wouldn’t be so furious with him now if he had just never said anything.

Maybe everything would have been okay if he had kept his out shut. But it definitely wasn’t okay now. And he didn’t now how to fix it.

He didn’t know if he would ever be able to fix it.

* * * * * * * *

“What are you thinking about?”

It had been a mostly quiet therapy session. Rose never spoke much — she hated talking and she especially hated talking to the therapist — but she’d been distracted today, staring hard at her bracelet and, for the first time, truly missing John. Up to that point she had been too angry to really miss him.

Rose didn’t answer the therapist’s question, choosing instead to just focus harder on the bracelet. “What’s that?” The therapist asked, and Rose hesitated.

“It’s…it’s a secret.” _She_ still cared about their secret, even if John had betrayed her and blabbed.

“Is it about your friend John?” Of course she already knew. Of course her parents had told the stupid hospital. Rose nodded once. “He must care about you a lot.”

“He’s a jerk.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because he’s supposed to be my friend and it’s _his_ fault I’m here!” Rose snapped, losing her patience. “He told my parents about us even though we both promised we would never tell anyone else, and he told them that I wasn’t eating even though he’s supposed to be my friend and keep my secrets.”

“Why do you think he did that?”

“Because he’s a jerk.”

“Not because he was worried about you?”

“I told him there was nothing to worry about,” Rose insisted. “I told him I was fine.”

“You’re dangerously underweight, Rose,” the therapist said gently. “It’s possible John could see what you can’t.”

“He’s still supposed to be my friend,” Rose said with a scowl.

“Sometimes friends have to do things that upset us,” the therapist said. “Especially when they’re trying to protect us.” Rose didn’t answer. “I think we’re done for the day. You can go.”

Rose was up and out the door before the therapist had finished speaking. She didn’t _care_ if John thought what he had done was right. It wasn’t, and he sure as hell should have talked to her before he did _anything_. He had _known_ what he was doing was wrong, that was exactly why he had blocked Rose out before he did it. Because he knew she would be angry.

And he had done it anyways.

* * * * * * * *

“Are you _sure_ it’s a bond?”

John huffed, trying to keep his temper in check. Sarah Jane had finally convinced him to go to a doctor, thinking maybe they could do something for his constant migraines.

Of course, the doctor had to spend ten minutes questioning the validity of the bond. “Pretty sure, yeah,” John said through gritted teeth. “There’s another person in my head, I talk to her, I know what she’s thinking. That sounds like a bond to me.”

“And you’ve had it for how long?”

“Seven years.” They’d already _told_ him that.

“No, that’s impossible,” the doctor insisted. “A telepathic bond can’t develop that early. Have you spoken to a psychiatrist? It’s possible it’s—”

“I’m not fucking mental, alright?” John snapped. “I’ve _met her_ , in person, and her parents. She is _real_ , it is a _real_ bond, so just bugger off and give me something for migraines or let me go _home_.”

“John!” Sarah Jane scolded him. The doctor, unsurprisingly, looked a little offended.

“Have you tried aspirin?”

Jesus Christ. “No, that never occurred to me,” John said, a bit snidely. “God. I’m going home, screw this.”

And with that he stormed out of the exam room. “John Charles Smith,” Sarah Jane snapped as she went after him. He didn’t stop. HE didn’t care she was mad. “John!” She grabbed his shoulder, stopping him and forcing him to look at her.

“ _What?”_ He asked through gritted teeth.

“Don’t you take that tone with me,” Sarah Jane said firmly. “I understand that you’re upset, but this attitude of yours is too much.”

“So I’m not allowed to be upset now?”

“I didn’t say that and you know it.” Sarah Jane’s voice was slightly calmer. “Johnny, I know you’re upset. I know it’s hard that Rose isn’t talking to you. But lashing out isn’t going to help.”

She was right. John knew she was right. The tension drained from his shoulders, and he sighed. “I know,” he mumbled. Sarah Jane pulled him into a tight hug.

* * * * * * * *

John’s eighteenth birthday was quiet and honestly depressing. It was the first birthday in seven years he hadn’t woken up to Rose excitedly demanding that he wake up so she could play Happy Birthday for him on her flute. In fact he didn’t hear a word from Rose at all that day.

And nothing really mattered if Rose wasn’t speaking to him.

Sarah Jane still did cake and presents with him, of course, and he even got an acceptance letter to Columbia University in the mail.

He didn’t care about any of it, though. He tried — for Sarah, mostly, he tried. But he missed Rose.

And that made it hard to care about anything.

* * * * * * * *

Rose was sitting in the cafeteria, staring dismally at her meal. She hadn’t been doing much better with eating, and her doctor was worried. She picked at her food, taking a couple of small bites. Forcing herself to eat sucked.

It was John’s birthday, and she’d already almost reached out to him twice. She’d been missing him more and more in the last few weeks, and it was starting to get hard to remember why she was even mad.

Even if it _was_ his fault she was stuck in this stupid hospital.

* * * * * * * *

Rose’s birthday fell on visitor’s day, exactly five months after she had been hospitalized. It was the first birthday that wasn’t a huge production, and honestly, Rose loved that. Her family visited, and even brought a small cake, which Rose forced herself to eat just to make them happy. She didn’t really want it.

But they wanted her to eat. And it seemed to make them happy when she did.

“Do they even have video games or anything here?” Tony, of course, was asking the important questions. This was the first time he’d visited, and he was concerned. He didn’t want his sister to die of boredom.

“Yeah, they have a rec room. There’s games and stuff.”

“Anything good?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t really looked.” It wasn’t like she was trying to make friends this god forsaken place.

“It seems really boring.”

“Tony she’s not here for _fun_ ,” Jackie scolded the boy. “Shush.”

Honestly, Rose loved it. It was the most normal anyone had acted around her in months. Whenever one of her parents came to visit they just made awkward small talk and asked if she was eating yet. Tony was the only one who wasn’t asking her about her meals or her weight.

It was all Rose wanted.

“So when are you coming home?”

Of course, that _would_ be Tony’s next question. Rose ducked her head, looking away. “She’ll come home when the doctor thinks she’s ready,” Pete said gently. “Stop bothering her, Tony.”

“I’m not!” Tony huffed. And he really wasn’t. But Jackie and Pete were both oversensitive and shushed him again, and Rose sighed. She’d have rather been alone with her brother than have either of her parents there.

They left around dinner time, and Rose sighed as she went to the cafeteria. They had monitors to watch people with eating disorders and make sure they ate at least a little, so Rose couldn’t even skip the meal. She poked at her food, taking a few bites, and eating just enough to satisfy the people in charge.

Still, it was a relief to finally retreat to bed that night. Rose curled up in bed, snuggling into her pillow and staring at her bracelet.

And after a hesitant moment, she let her mind reach out once more.

_John?_

John was nearly asleep, a fairly constant thrum of pain in his head, when Rose’s presence suddenly flooded through him. It literally felt like someone had put ice on a burn — all the pain instantly faded and John was so stunned he nearly fell out of bed.

 _Rose?!_ He didn’t mean to yell, but he was honestly stunned. He didn’t think she would ever speak to him again.

Tension drained from Rose’s shoulders with the return of John to her mind. She hadn’t realized how much it had hurt to block him out until he was back. _Hi_ , she said quietly. _I missed you_.

 _I missed you too, I missed you so much. I’m so sorry Rose, I never meant to upset you, I was just so scared, you weren’t eating and it was killing you, and I just wanted_ —

 _Forget it._ Rose gently cut him off, knowing that was the only way she would get a word in edgewise. _It’s okay._

John was quiet for a long moment. _Is it really?_ He asked finally.

 _Yeah_. And it was. Kind of. It _would_ be okay.

And that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review...?


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John: 18, Rose: 16

_Stop thinking_.

John rolled over, burying his face in his pillow. _I’m trying_.

 _You’re not doing a very good job_.

She was right. He was doing his best, but he was also freaking out. He was getting ready to go to university. Who wouldn’t be anxious about that?

 _I’m sorry_ , he said quietly. _I can go, if you want_.

 _No!_ Rose said quickly. _I… I don’t want you to go. Please_.

She hadn’t tried to block John out since they had reconciled, and John was grateful for that. It had been so lonely without her. He didn’t want to go through that again.

It was clear John wasn’t sleeping, so instead he turned on his bedside lamp and grabbed his sketchbook, drawing mindlessly. It was the fastest way to calm himself when he was thinking too much.

He felt Rose in the back of his head, relaxing a bit as he began drawing. Her presence was a warm, comforting glow, and he was so happy to have it back.

 _Are you mad at me?_ Rose asked quietly after a moment. John hesitated, pencil pausing. He couldn’t lie. Rose would know. One of the downsides of having her in his head. And it was hard to deny that things had been… awkward between them since Rose had begun talking to him again. It was unavoidable.

 _I’m… I’m not mad._ That was the truth. _I… don’t really know how to explain how I feel, honestly_. There were a lot of feelings. He couldn’t put them all into words.

 _I know I was horrible to you_ , Rose said. _You didn’t deserve that_.

 _I_ _ **am**_ _sorry I broke our promise_ , John replied. _But I didn’t have a choice, Rose. You were killing yourself_.

 _I know_. Which didn’t stop the slight flare of annoyance that ran through Rose. _I_ _ **know**_ _. I just… I hate being here so much._

 _I know you do. But you need to be_.

Rose was quiet for a moment. _We’re not talking about me_ , she said finally, quietly. _I asked about you_.

John sighed. _I’m just… it hurt, Rose. A lot. When you weren’t talking to me. And I don’t just mean physically_. Although the headaches _had_ been brutal.

 _I know being angry isn’t an excuse_ , Rose said, and John felt a wave of sadness. _You didn’t deserve that. And I_ _ **am**_ _sorry. I honestly am._

 _I know you are_. She couldn’t lie, after all.

And even if she could, John would have believed her anyways.

* * * * * * * *

“I see you’ve been doing much better with eating,” Rose’s therapist said, and Rose ducked her head, staring at the floor.

“Yeah,” she mumbled. It was still hard — her brain was still trying to count the calories in every single thing she ate, and ignoring it was _hard_. But she was trying. And she was eating.

And that was something.

“Why the sudden change?” It wasn’t exactly a secret that Rose had been… resistant to any and all treatment in the hospital. She’d ate because the alternative was ending up with an IV in her arm (and needles terrified her), but it had been the bare minimum and even then it had been unwilling.

Having John back was… helping, though. It was far from a cure, but John… made her feel better. And made her want to be better.

“I don’t know.” She didn’t want to talk about John. She had more or less avoided it up to this point — it wasn’t a door she wanted to open — and if she could get out of this place without ever mentioning John’s name, then great. John had told her about his experience at the doctor’s, and that wasn’t something she wanted to deal with until she absolutely had to.

And she knew she would have to eventually.

 _I’m back_ , Rose said quietly as she left the therapist’s office. John tried really hard not to pay attention during therapy, recognizing that it was Rose’s time. He didn’t know how to fully block her out the way Rose had done to him, and honestly Rose was glad about that. She never wanted to go through that kind of separation again.

It had been too much.

 _You alright?_ John asked at once. Rose believed he really did his best not to listen. But it was hard.

_Yeah… I’ll live. I just want to get out of here._

_I know you do._

Rose went back to her room, sighing as she collapsed into bed. Her parents’ were definitely getting their money’s worth this place. But it was still a hospital, and Rose was still trapped here.

And she wanted to go home.

 _Rose?_ John asked quietly. _Why did you stop eating?_

He had never asked. Rose had honestly assumed he knew. But then again, knowing and understanding were two very different things.

 _I… I was scared_ , she mumbled, curling up tight in bed. _I mean, I’m not really that pretty, and if I’m fat too, then…_

 _What are you talking about?_ John asked in disbelief. _You’re beautiful!_

A small, sad smile pulled at Rose’s lips. _No I’m not. But thanks_.

 _Of course you are_ , John insisted.

 _You’ve only seen the stupid pictures in magazines._ Rose spent hours being made to look pretty for those.

 _That’s not true. You sent me pictures, remember? I love them. You’re my backgound on my phone_.

… Rose didn’t know what to say to that. She had completely forgotten about the stupid selfies she and John had sent each other. _Really?_

_Of course._

Tears filled Rose’s eyes, and she wiped them quickly. If it had been anyone else, she would have assumed they were lying just to make her feel better.

But it was _John_ , and he _couldn’t_ lie to her. She could feel the absolute sincerity in his words, could hear the slight awe in his voice as he insisted on how beautiful she was.

He couldn’t lie to her. She would know if he tried.

 _You really think so?_ She asked all the same. After all, he had pretty girls practically falling over him all the time. It seemed impossible to think that he really believed _she_ was pretty.

 _Of course I do_.

He wasn’t lying.

* * * * * * * *

It was another two months — making it seven months total — before Rose was finally released from the hospital. She still had to go back once a week for therapy, and she had to have regular doctor’s appointments to monitor her health, but for the most part she could return to her regular life.

She couldn’t wait.

John had been busy most of the morning, which disappointed Rose, but she understood, of course. He had a life.

Jackie and Pete finished up all the paperwork, Rose packed her belongings, and they headed out. Rose was bouncing, thrilled to finally be able to _leave_. She couldn’t wait to go home, or even to see her brother again. How could she be so happy to see Tony? That didn’t seem possible.

 _Hey, look to your left_.

Rose paused as she walked out of the hospital with her parents, the request understandably baffling. But after a moment she complied.

And her heart jumped.

There was John. Standing in front of a bench, his hands in his pockets, watching her anxiously. Rose’s mouth fell open, and for a moment she stared at John, completely stunned.

 _What’re you_ …

 _Just wanted to see you_.

That snapped Rose out of her stupor, and she bolted toward John, throwing her arms around him. John caught her and practically lived her off the ground in his exuberance, laughing.

He gave _really_ good hugs.

* * * * * * * *

Rose was rightfully suspicious when Jackie and Pete offered John a ride home. Not that her parents were horrible or anything, but there was something off about the offer.

As it turned out, Rose’s suspicions were one-hundred percent correct.

“Is your aunt home?” Pete asked John as they pulled up in front of John’s house. It was _cute_. Rose would’ve loved living in a place like this.

“Yeah…” John said slowly, realizing he probably should’ve just taken the bus.

“Could we meet her?”

Oh boy. John sighed inwardly, and he could feel Rose’s distrust in the back of his head. She didn’t like this, either. “Sure,” John said all the same, climbing out of the car. Rose frowned as she followed suit, reaching to take John’s hand. He smiled a bit, intertwining their fingers.

“Aunt Sarah?” He called nervously as he led Rose and her parents inside.

“Upstairs,” Sarah Jane called back.

“Um, could you come here? Please?”

“That doesn’t sound good.” There was a pause, then Sarah Jane came downstairs, pausing when she saw their company. “Um…”

“Pete Tyler.” Pete introduced himself with a smile, stepping forward to shake Sarah Jane’s hand. “This is my wife, Jackie, and our daughter, Rose. I’m sorry for just dropping in like this, but we were in the neighborhood.”

Sarah Jane gave John a look, eyes flitting to his and Rose’s intertwined fingers. “Sarah Jane Smith, and not a problem at all. A meeting is probably overdue anyways, considering how long our kids have known each other.”

Rose and John both blushed, ducking their heads. “Why don’t you two go upstairs so we can talk?” Sarah Jane suggested. “We’ll talk in the kitchen.”

“Sounds good,” John said quickly, pulling Rose to the stairs. He wanted to be away from her parents for a while. They were intimidating.

“This is my room,” John said with a flourish as he led Rose into his bedroom. It was a mess, as usual. He hadn’t really been expecting company. Rose flopped down on the bed, looking around.

“It’s nice,” she said honestly, and John snorted.

“Well it’s not quite a mansion…”

“I’d rather live here,” Rose said. The mansion was huge — way too big for only four of them. There was nothing personal or home-y about it. This, on the other hand, was a proper home.

John hurried to his desk, pulling out the binder he’d kept for Rose’s birthday drawings. “Now seems like a good time to give you these,” he said, a bit shyly, as he went to sit beside Rose, handing her the binder. Rose’s eyes lit up.

“Is this for me?”

“Is your name Rose?” John teased. She giggled as she opened it, and her eyes widened.

“Oh _John_ …”

“That one isn’t that good,” John said quickly, turning the page. “They get better.”

“They’re _all_ amazing,” Rose insisted. “How’d you know what I looked like before you saw a picture of me?” The early ones were amazingly accurate.

“I’m not sure,” John admitted. “I just sort of… knew. Like I _knew_ you had blonde hair, and I knew your eyes were brown. Stuff like that.”

“That’s weird,” Rose said thoughtfully. “I wonder if it has something to do with the bond.”

“I don’t know. That’s what I thought too.”

Rose went through the entire binder twice, drinking in the details of every drawing. It was amazing. John was so talented.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” John asked after a moment, looking out his door and toward the stairs.

“Who knows.” Rose shook her head. She had no idea how her parents felt about the bond. They could have been talking about anything.

“Want to find out?”

Rose looked at John, and after a moment they both grinned before creeping toward the stairs.

“…Just don’t think it’s a good idea—”

“With all due respect, Mr. Tyler,” Sarah Jane interrupted Pete evenly. “I don’t think it really matters what you think. You can’t make this bond go away.”

“I’m just not sure it’s _healthy_ ,” Pete insisted. “Rose is extremely fragile—”

“She’s a human being, she’s not made of glass, and this bond has existed for years. It’s not like it’s something new.”

“So you approve of this?” Jackie demanded.

“I don’t think my thoughts on the situation particularly matter,” Sarah Jane pointed out. “Am I happy they hid it for years? Of course not. But that’s in the past, and getting huffy about it now isn’t going to do any good. You can’t just throw money at it and make it go away. They have a telepathic bond, and you can’t break that.”

“I’m not saying I want to _break_ the bond,” Pete replied with a hint of impatience. “But I don’t think it should necessarily determine their entire future. People can have soulmate bonds and not end up with the people they’re bonded with. I did.”

Rose blinked, biting her lip to keep herself from making a surprised noise. She hadn’t known that.

“I think that’s up to them, not you,” Sarah Jane pointed out.

“Do _they_ know that, though? They deserve to have options. Rose has never even gone on a date. Has John?”

“Does that matter?”

“Yes, it does. If they’ve already decided they want to be together without exploring their options—”

“Then that’s their choice, not yours.”

“As long as they know it’s a _choice_ and not an obligation.”

Rose and John exchanged looks, frowning. They had never really talking about their relationship, or what they wanted for the future. It had never come up.

But they had a feeling they wouldn’t be able to avoid it for much longer.

“They’re not children anymore,” Sarah Jane said. “They’re perfectly aware they have free will, and that’s a discussion they need to have their own. I’m not going to force them to do anything. Are you?”

“I’m not going to force Rose to do anything,” Pete said. “I just want her to be happy, and it’s clear that she hasn’t been for a long time.”

“ _That_ is not John’s fault.”

“You know,” Rose said loudly, and John jumped. “If you were going to try and figure out our future for us, you could’ve let us know. Or should we just go away until you’re done planning everything out?”

“Rose—” John started to say, but Rose pushed herself up before he could stop her, hurrying downstairs and out the front door. John sighed as he stood and went downstairs, peeking into the kitchen.

“Should’ve known you’d be listening,” Sarah Jane said dryly.

“You _were_ talking about us,” John pointed out. “I think we deserve to know what you’re saying.”

He didn’t look at Rose’s parents as he turned to go find Rose. What they’d said had bothered him. He loved Rose, he knew he did. He would have fallen in love with her no matter how they’d met.

They just had more time together this way.

Rose hadn’t gone far, at least. She was sitting on the sidewalk outside the house, staring blankly at the ground. “They’re always doing that,” she mumbled as John sat with her. “They’re always trying to plan out my life for me and acting like I don’t know what’s best for myself.”

John wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and she curled into him, letting out a long breath. “Sometimes I wish we were just regular people,” she mumbled. “If we weren’t rich they wouldn’t act this way.”

“They’re just worried,” John said despite himself. He hated playing Devil’s advocate considering how unhappy _he_ was with the conversation they’d heard. But he didn’t want Rose to hate her parents either.

“I don’t need them to worry, I need them to support me.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Rose’s parents came out, clearly intending to search for her themselves. They paused when they saw her sitting right outside the house.

“Rose?” Jackie called. “We’re leaving.”

Rose curled tighter into John before sighing and pushing herself up. “Fine,” she mumbled. _Talk later?_

 _Absolutely_.

She made her way silently to the car. John stayed outside and watched the car pull away.

* * * * * * * *

“We’re just worried about you, Rose—”

“ _Why_? Because I have someone who cares about me?” Rose asked fiercely. “And I’m not _fragile_.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Pete insisted.

“Yes, you did.”

“Rose,” Jackie cut in quietly. “Do you love John?”

The question brought Rose up short. _Did_ she love John? He made her feel good, she missed him when she wasn’t around, and she loved having this bond with him and being able to talk to him whenever she wanted. The months she hadn’t been talking to him had killed her, and she never wanted to go through that again.

But she also knew there was no right way to answer that question. Either she said yes, and her parents insisted she didn’t know what she was talking about. Or she said no, and her parents used it against her.

She wasn’t going to win.

“John’s important to me,” is what she finally settled for.

“And we’re not saying there’s anything wrong with that,” Pete replied. “But don’t you think you need more people in your life besides him?”

“Like who? No one wants to be friends with me because I’m _your_ daughter. Or they _do_ want to be friends with me because I’m your daughter.” She didn’t mean to sound so scathing — or maybe she did. This had been building up for a long time. “John wants _me_. What’s wrong with that?”

“We’re not saying it’s _wrong_. We just don’t want you to feel like you have to settle—”

Rose stood up abruptly, storming out of the room. She had known it was going to come to that sooner or later. John was _beneath_ Rose. That was the problem at the end of the day. Her parents could act like it was concern for her all they wanted, but the only thing they were worried about was their status and how it would look to the public if she dated a _commoner_.

 _I don’t think that’s entirely it_ , John spoke up quietly. _I do think they’re worried about you_.

 _Maybe_ , Rose huffed as she threw herself into bed, curling up tight. It was nice, at least, to be back in her own bed. _I don’t need them to worry about me._

 _You’re hard not to worry about sometimes_ , John said. Rose sighed, burying her face in her pillow.

 _Yeah. I guess_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review?


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John: 18; Rose: 16

 

_I don’t want to go back._

_I know, but you kind of have to_.

Rose sighed. She had at least convinced her parents to let her transfer to a new school. Not that it really mattered. Everyone knew the Vitex heiress had been in rehab and there were plenty of rumors going around as to why. Not that anyone had even come close to the truth — the most prominent rumor was drugs — and Rose certainly wasn’t going to share with them.

But no matter where she went, whispers were going to follow her.

 _I wish I could just get a tutor or something_. Being stuck at home all day would be _so_ much better than having to deal with people.

 _It’ll be okay_ , John assured her. _You’ll get through it. And I’ll be here, I promise_.

 _You’re hardly ever here anymore_. Rose didn’t mean to sound so bitter, but there was really no way of hiding the feeling. John had, of course, gotten into his first choice of universities — Cambridge — and had moved onto campus a week earlier. He had been busy with incoming student events, getting to know the campus, and securing himself a tutoring job. He was trying to save up to get a car.

John was quiet for a moment, and Rose could feel his guilt. _I know_ , he said finally. _I’m sorry. It’s been busy._

 _I know it has, I just_ … Rose sighed, frustrated. She missed John. She knew John was busy, but it was hard when he couldn’t talk to her. Especially since she was barely talking to her parents. They had more or less buried the argument they’d had about John, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t still on Rose’s mind.

And it didn’t mean she wasn’t angry.

* * *

_Why don’t we Skype tonight?_ They hadn’t been able to see each other since the day Rose had been released — almost a month ago now — but they’d quickly found after the one meeting that just talking wasn’t enough anymore. Video chat was the best alternative. Rose smiled a bit.

 _Okay. I’d like that_.

* * * * * * * *

Dinner took a little longer than usual — her parents wouldn’t let her leave the table until she ate every single bite of food. It was annoying, especially considering she didn’t want to spend time with them, and her motivation to eat still went up and down depending on the day. John was patient, though, waiting for Rose to escape to her room and close the door.

Finally she logged into Skype, and John immediately called her. She couldn’t help but grin when his face popped up on her screen, and his entire expression lit up.

“ _Hullo_!”

“Hello,” Rose said with a small laugh, lying down in bed and setting the laptop on her chest. “How’re you?”

“ _I’m good. Ooooh, wanna see my room?_ ”

“Sure!”

John unplugged his laptop and hopped up, turning the camera so Rose could see the room. “ _So this is my room. It’s pretty small. I’ve got a little bookcase in the corner, look_.” It was already overflowing with books, of course. “ _And this is my bed. It sucks. I need to get a topper so I can sleep on it without breaking my back. And this is my desk._ ” It was a mess. “ _And this is my window. Look at this view_!” He had a _gorgeous_ view the campus. Rose was a little jealous.

“It seems nice,” Rose said as John settled back on his bed with the laptop.

“ _Maybe you could some see it in person sometime,_ ” John suggested, a bit shyly. Oh, that sounded wonderful.

“Maybe,” she agreed quietly. “If my parents would let me.” She couldn’t even imagine what their reaction would be to her asking to spend the weekend in London with an eighteen-year-old boy they barely knew.

She wanted to see John again, though.

They talked until Rose fell asleep, and John sat on the call for a little while longer, just watching her. God, she was beautiful. And so peaceful in sleep.

John wished they could’ve just stayed like this forever.

* * * * * * * *

“Mum? Dad?”

Jackie and Pete looked up from the show they watching, a bit surprised. Rose hadn’t really spoken much to them — and certainly not voluntarily — since she’d come home. Things had been pretty tense.

“Can we talk?” Rose asked quietly.

“Of course,” Jackie said at once, and Pete turned off the television. “What’s up?”

“I want to talk about John.”

Pete and Jackie exchanged nervous looks. That conversation hadn’t gone well the last time they’d tried to have it, and they were nervous to broach it again.

“We want to talk to about that, too,” Pete said finally. Rose sat down in the arm chair across from the couch, folding her hands in her lap. She was determined not to get mad again. “We know John is important to you, Rose—”

“He’s my best friend,” Rose said firmly.

“But he doesn’t have to be your entire life,” Pete replied. “Soulmates aren’t a guarantee. You can have a soulmate and end up with a completely different person. I did.”

“Well I’m not you,” Rose shot back, a bit heatedly. “I’m me, and if I want to be with John, I will be.”

“As long as you _want_ to be with John,” Jackie said. “And you don’t just feel like you have to be. Have you ever even thought about going on a date with another boy?”

“No.” She had never been interested. Most of the boys she went to school with were stuffy know-it-alls and completely insufferable.

“Maybe you should. It might be good for you.”

Rose’s hands clenched into fists. “I don’t want to. Doesn’t that count for anything? John’s never dated any other girls, and his aunt doesn’t care.”

“That’s between John and his aunt. _You_ are our concern.”

“Well you don’t seem very _concerned_ about what I want.”

“We just want you to have a normal life, Rose,” Pete said quietly. “Having a soulmate bond makes that hard. You spend so much time thinkin this person you’re bonded with is the one, and then you meet them and you realize they’re not someone you could ever love. Or you meet someone you’re not bonded with and you fall in love, and then you don’t know what to do because what about your bond mate? Aren’t they the one you’re supposed to be with?”

“That’s what happened to _you_ ,” Rose said. “That doesn’t mean it’ll happen to me. I care about John. Why can’t that be enough?”

“You’ve never even tried to go out with another boy, and you’re only sixteen. How can you already be making these decisions?”

“You just don’t like him because he doesn’t have money.”

Pete and Jackie looked honestly stunned by that accusation. “Rose, that has nothing to do with it,” Jackie said finally. “John seems like a perfectly nice person, and it’s obvious he cares about you. We’re just worried about you. We want you to have a normal life.”

“That ship sailed when Dad made our name famous,” Rose pointed out bitterly, and Pete sighed.

“You’re right. It did. But we’re trying, Rose. We want you and Tony to be happy.”

“I _am_ happy. I’m happy with John.”

“We just want you to get out and date a little,” Jackie insisted. “Just for a bit. You have time before you need to decide if you want to settle down with John. Why not go out on some dates?”

 _Maybe you should_.

Rose jumped, surprised. She hadn’t realized John was listening. _What?_ She demanded, ignoring the looks her parents were giving her. _**Why**_ _?_

 _Just to get them off your back. And I mean… who knows, maybe you’ll find someone you like_.

Rose sighed, frustrated. “ _Fine_ ,” she mumbled, crossing her arms. “I’ll go out on a bloody date.”

“Language,” Pete scolded her gently. “And thank you.”

That had _not_ one the way Rose had been hoping. She stood with a bit of a huff, walking out of the room, and nearly plowing over Tony in the process.

“Ow!”

“That’s what you get for eavesdropping,” Rose snapped him before storming upstairs.

 _This is_ _ **stupid**_ _,_ she informed John, flopping back on her bed.

 _Your parents just want what’s best for you_.

 _Then maybe they should_ _ **ask**_ _what’s best for me instead of forcing me to do things I don’t want to do_ , Rose said bitterly. _And why the hell were you_ _ **agreeing**_ _with them? You’re supposed to be on my side!_

 _I am on your side!_ John insisted. _I don’t want you to be unhappy. Maybe this’ll shut them up_.

 _Yeah_. Rose sighed into her pillow. _Maybe_.

* * * * * * * *

Jackie and Pete wasted no time setting Rose up with the son of an associate of Pete’s. Within two weeks she had her first date.

 _I hate this_ , she grumbled as she finished getting dressed, checking her makeup. Her parents had insisted she look her best.

 _Maybe you’ll like him_.

 _Just promise you’ll be around_.

 _Oh absolutely_.

“Rose?” Jackie called upstairs. “Your date is here.”

Rose sighed as she headed downstairs.

She spent exactly five minutes with Adam Mitchell before realizing this night was going to be insufferable. Adam was completely full of himself; he wasted no time informing Rose, as Pete’s chauffeur drove them to the restaurant, that he was already on a fast track to Cambridge, like that was supposed to impress Rose. John had gotten into Cambridge too, and he didn’t feel the need to _brag_ about it.

“It’s one of the best schools in England, you know,” Adam was saying, and Rose had to resist the urge to roll her eyes.

“Yeah, a mate of mine got in,” she couldn’t resist saying. Adam blinked, surprised.

“What, really?”

“Yeah, he’s pretty smart. Graduated top of his class and all that.”

That seemed to throw Adam for a moment, but finally he waved Rose off. “Well they always have to let in one or two charity cases.” Rose bristled a bit at that. She hadn’t even said who her friend _was_.

They arrived at the restaurant, Adam still talking about himself. He hadn’t asked Rose one thing about herself, yet. John made a snoring noise in Rose’s head, and she had to resist the urge to laugh.

She was so glad he was there.

Things didn’t get much better when it was time to order their food, and Adam tried to order for both of them. “I’m allergic to fish,” Rose informed him pointedly. “And I can order for myself, thanks.”

Adam scowled at that, and Rose ordered herself a steak while John howled with laughter.

By the end of the night, Rose was ready to stab herself with her steak knife. She was picking at her food, not particularly hungry despite John prodding her. Adam was now talking about how he was going to work for his dad as soon as he graduated, and how lucky he was to have so many options open to him.

Rose just kept her eyes on her plate and forced herself to eat as much as she could stomach. It was almost over. Soon they could get the check and she could go home.

“You know, Rose, you’ve been pretty rude,” Adam said as he paid the check. “Are you even listening to me?”

“You know, honestly? I haven’t,” Rose returned, a bit icily. “I tuned out when you were bragging about Cambridge and dismissed my friend as a charity case just because you couldn’t believe there was someone just as smart as you — if not smarter. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who was so full of themselves, and if I never have to hear you talk again that would just be _brilliant_ , so do you think you could manage to keep your mouth shut for the drive home?”

The look of shock on Adam’s face was absolutely priceless. After a moment his expression hardened, and when the waiter came back with his credit card he snatched it away and stormed out. Rose had to hurry to follow.

The ride home was tense. Rose sat as far away from Adam as she possibly could, glaring out the window. John had gone quiet; she could still feel him there, but he was trying to give her space.

Jackie and Pete were waiting when Rose stormed in. “How was—”

“Do you even know me?” Rose snapped, turning on them both. “How could you set me up with _that_?”

“The Mitchells are a perfectly respectable family—”

“And their son is a perfectly respectable arse,” Rose cut in.

“ _Rose_!” Jackie sounded absolutely appalled that her daughter would use such a language. But Rose was angry. And she wasn’t done.

“If you’re just gonna keep setting me up with your friends’ jerk sons then I’m not doing this. Believe it or not, I know myself and I know what I like. And boys like that aren’t it.”

And with that she made her way upstairs, slamming her door behind her. _You okay?_ John asked quietly. Rose threw herself down on the bed.

 _I can’t believe they thought I would_ _ **enjoy**_ _going out with someone like that._ Part of it hurt, honestly. Did her parents know her at all?

 _At least it’s over. And I doubt they’ll try to set you up with anyone any time soon_.

He didn’t know her parents very well.

* * * * * * * *

“You said you would try to date.”

“I _thought_ that meant you would let me find my _own_ dates,” Rose informed her mother icily. “Not that you were going to set me up with Dad’s friends boring sons.”

“We’re just trying to help,” Jackie insisted.

“Yeah, help me find a boy _you_ think is good enough for me.”

“Why are you so against this?” Jackie asked, completely ignoring Rose. “Is John giving you a hard time about dating?”

“ _What_?”

 _What?!_ John piped up at the same time. _Why does your mother hate me?!_

“ _John_ is the only one who seems to care about my feelings,” Rose shot back. “And _no_ , he’s not giving me a hard time about _anything_. He’s been pretty good about it considering _he_ has to sit through these stupid dates, too.”

_I don’t really pay attention to be honest—_

_I’m making a point, shut up_.

“We just want to help, Rose.”

“Then listen to me when I tell you _you’re not helping_.”

And with that, Rose turned and stormed upstairs. She was so tired of these stupid dates. If she really wanted to date, she would find a boy on her own.

 _Do_ _ **you**_ _ever want to date people?_ Rose asked John quietly. As far as she knew he had never really expressed an interest in it, but… maybe there were things he was hiding. It was possible.

 _Not really_. She imagined he was shrugging as he said that. _I mean… why would I? I’ve got you_.

Rose’s heart skipped a beat, and she smiled a bit despite herself. _Sap_.

 _Rude_.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John: 18; Rose: 16

“I want to spend the weekend at John’s.”

John groaned quietly in the back of Rose’s head. He had been hoping Rose would approach the subject with a bit more… finesse. Jackie and Pete exchanged looks, raising an eyebrow.

“Rose, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Pete said slowly. “Imagine what people would say if—”

“Aren’t you the one always saying we shouldn’t care what other people think or say?” Rose demanded. It was all she had heard, over and over — _it doesn’t matter what people say, it doesn’t matter what those magazines write_.

“You’re only sixteen, Rose. I don’t think it’s appropriate. Especially if you’re going to be staying in his dorm.”

“We’re — wait.” Rose frowned deeply. “How did you know he was staying on campus? I never told you that.”

Pete grimaced, not quite meeting Rose’s gaze as he said, “If you thought we weren’t going to keep an eye on him—”

“Are you _spying_ on him?” Rose demanded, furious.

 _They’re spying on me?!_ John squeaked. Pete sighed, scrubbing his eyes.

“We just want to make sure you’re safe—”

“Oh my _god_!” Rose burst out. “I bet you did a background check on his family, too, didn’t you?” They didn’t answer. That was a yes. “I don’t believe you! You know, Tony’s gonna start dating soon, are you gonna _vet_ all of his girlfriends too? Are you gonna run background checks on every single person he wants to date? I hope to god he doesn’t end up with a soulmate who doesn’t fit your standards too!”

“Rose, stop it,” Pete said firmly. “You hid this from us for _years_. How did you expect us to react?”

“I never wanted to tell you and this is why! This isn’t about keeping me safe, you _know_ John isn’t dangerous, you know everything about him! You just don’t like him because he isn’t good enough!”

“Rose, that has nothing to do with it,” Jackie cut in. “We’re worried about _you_. We want to make sure you’re safe.”

“You _know_ I’m safe! I’ve known John for _years_ , and I’ve _never_ been in danger. We never even _met_ before last year, we weren’t going to meet until I turned eighteen, we’d already talked about it! If anything I’m safer with him than I am with anyone else because I know he actually cares about _me_ and not just my bloody last name. He’s been my best friend for years, just because _you_ don’t know him doesn’t mean he’s somehow a bad person.”

 _If they want to get to know me, they can_ , John said quietly, and Rose blinked, momentarily pulled out of her tirade. _Maybe without the spies and secret background checks_.

Rose’s mouth was hanging open. _Are you serious? Do you really want to get into that?_

_I want your parents to not hate me._

“Rose?” Pete called. He was probably confused about why his daughter had suddenly stopped yelling at them. She shook her head, forcing herself to focus on them.

“If you want to get to know him, fine. Invite him for dinner. _Talk_ to him instead of sending people to _spy_ on him.”

Jackie and Pete exchanged looks. “Okay,” Pete said finally. “What’s he doing Friday night?”

 _Meeting your parents, apparently_.

“He’ll be here.”

* * * * * * * *

_Ding-Dong._

“Can’t believe you’re actually letting Mum and Dad meet your boyfriend,” Tony said as Rose headed for the door. He was sitting on the couch, playing a game.

“Not like I have much of a choice. Wait until you start dating, they’ll be all over you, too.”

“Nah, I’ve been dating a guy for weeks and they still don’t know.”

Rose stopped, turning to look at her brother in surprise. After a moment she shrugged and went to get the door. There’d be time for those details later.

“I take it back, this is an awful idea,” John said as soon as Rose answered the door. She knew he was joking. Mostly. He was nervous.

So was she.

“It’ll be fine,” Rose assured him. They both knew she didn’t actually believe that. “You look nice.”

He’d put on his best dress shirt and a pair of slacks and had even tried to comb down his wild hair. That last part hadn’t quite worked but he still looked great.

“I tried.” He rolled his shoulders back, sighing. “Let’s do this?”

“Let’s do this.” Rose took his hand and led him inside and to the living room. “Mum and Dad are in the study, probably going over interrogation tactics. And this is Tony.”

Tony looked up from his game, examining John closely. “Hi,” he finally said.

“Hullo,” John said brightly. “Whatcha playing?”

“Just Pokémon.”

“Oh is that the new one?”

Tony sat up a bit straighter at that, instantly invested in the conversation. “You play Pokémon?”

“I haven’t in years, I think the last one I played was Ruby. We couldn’t really afford the new systems so I had to give up.”

“Oh man, the graphics are _so_ much better now. Wanna see?”

John looked eagerly at Rose. “Can I?”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Nerds, both of you. Go on, I’ll go see where Mum and Dad are.”

John flopped down on the couch with Tony, and Rose could hear them making excited noises as she went to the study. The door was closed; as big of a clue as any that they were talking about Rose. They almost never closed the door.

“Mum, Dad,” she called with a sigh, knocking on the door. “John’s here. Are you actually going to come out and meet him or just practice what you’re going to say all night?”

There was a pause, and then Pete opened the door. “We were just on our way out,” he told his daughter, and Rose resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

“Okay. Well, he’s bonding with Tony over video games.”

“I’ll go check on dinner then be right in,” Pete said. He went to the kitchen, and Jackie followed Rose to the living room. Tony had apparently let John have a turn with the game; he was happily playing and commenting on something, but he cut off abruptly when he saw Rose and Jackie walk in. He shoved the game back on Tony and stood up quickly.

“Hello Mrs. Tyler.”

“Hello, John.” Jackie, to her credit, could find it in herself to sound pleasant. “Tony, can you please put that game down for two minutes?”

“Just two minutes? Sure.” Tony set the game aside, smiling innocently, and Jackie rolled her eyes.

“Save it and turn it off, dinner should be ready soon.”

“Five minutes,” Pete announced as he walked in. “Hi John.”

“Hi Mr. Tyler.” John shifted nervously, and Rose went to take his hand.

 _It’s gonna be okay_.

 _You’re lying_.

_Does it help?_

_Yes_.

They sat down to eat, Rose staying as close to John as she dared. She knew her parents were planning an interrogation and she wasn’t going to make it easy for them.

The questions started as the first course was served. “So, John.” Pete managed to sound kind, at least. “You’re going to Columbia, right? What’re you studying?”

“Um, biology. I plan on going to medical school when I’m done with undergrad. I want to be a doctor.”

“That takes a lot of work, doesn’t it?” The question seemed innocent enough, but Rose still threw a small glare at Jackie for it. “You have to be brilliant.”

“I like to think I am.” John was a lot of things, but egotistical wasn’t one of them. Rose thought that was a bit unfortunate. He was the smartest person she’d ever met. “I graduated top of my class and got top marks in my A-levels.”

Rose hid her smirk behind her drink. That seemed to throw Jackie and Pete for a minute. Their background check must not have been very good if they hadn’t found that information for themselves. They’d probably been more focused on looking for his non-existent criminal record.

“That kind of schooling must cost a lot of money.” Pete picked up the line of questioning.

“I got a full scholarship to Columbia.” God bless John. He was doing so well. “Dunno if I’ll get the same when I go to med school, but I’ll figure it out. Take out loans if I have to. My aunt said she’d help as much as she could, too.”

“Have you always wanted to be a doctor?” Jackie and Pete kept switching off who was asking the questions. It was far too coordinated to be an accident.

“No,” John admitted. “I kind of wanted to be an artist for a while. But I like helping people, and I can do that better as a doctor than as an artist.”

“Rose, love, eat your dinner.” Jackie interrupted the conversation to gently chastise Rose, and her fingers tightened on her fork. She hated when people commented on her eating.

“Maybe it would be easier to eat if you weren’t _interrogating_ someone at the dinner table,” she shot back.

“We’re just trying to get to know him.”

“Why don’t you let Tony ask a question, then?” Tony’s head snapped up, surprise flashing across his expression. He hadn’t expected to get pulled into this. His parents looked at him, and he stuttered for a moment.

“Uh… what’s your favorite starter Pokémon?”

John laughed at that. “Charmander, definitely. I like all the fire starters but Charmander is the best.”

“Did you play the original Red version or the remake?”

“Original.”

Tony lit up at that. “Do you still have it? Can I try it some time?”

“It’s somewhere at home, yeah. I can try and dig it up for you, if you want.”

The tension eased for a moment, and Rose managed to take a couple bites of food. Stress made it so hard to eat sometimes. And this was an undeniably stressful situation. At least John had Tony’s approval.

“So it’s just you and your aunt, then?” Pete picked up the questioning again, and Rose sighed inwardly.

_I hate them._

_It’s okay_.

“Um, yeah. My parents died when I was three. Car accident. Aunt Sarah was my dad’s sister, she was the only family either of them had.”

“And she’s a journalist, correct?”

“Yeah. She has a pretty small beat, mostly covers crime and stuff. She used to do a lot of investigative journalism — you know, political scandals, things like that. She’s not into that as much as anymore, though, says she’s getting to old to pound the pavement for hours every day. She’s a serious journalist, though.”

That last part was added pointedly, and Rose could feel the intent behind it. He wanted her parents to _know_ Sarah Jane wasn’t one of those magazine writers. She was a real journalist, covering real stories.

“What was your favorite game?” Tony piped up, once again cutting in to the questioning.

“Crystal," John said without hesitation. “Or Yellow. I really liked Yellow because I got Pikachu as my starter.”

“That’s soooo cool! Do you still have those, too?”

“Tony, stop bothering him about video games,” Jackie scolded her son.

“At least Tony is actually trying to have a conversation with him,” Rose cut in.

 _Rose, really, it’s okay_.

 _No it bloody isn’t_.

 _They’re not bothering me_ _ **that**_ _much_.

 _Well they’re bothering me_.

“We’re trying to get to know him,” Pete insisted, and Rose gritted her teeth.

“Then why don’t you ask him about his hobbies instead of insinuating that he’s somehow trying to get money to use me to pay for university.”

Everyone went completely silent at that. John ducked his head, staring at his plate. Rose refused to look away from her parents. “That’s not what we were trying to do,” Pete said finally.

“Could’ve fooled me. Try asking him something that doesn’t involve school and how he plans on paying for it.”

 _It’s okay for them to be worried_ , John said quietly. _I’d be worried too_.

 _John I am literally in your head. I know you don’t care that my family has money, and I know you don’t plan on trying to con me out of money. It’s not my fault they don’t know that, and I’m not going to deal with this_.

By the time dessert came, Rose was _deeply_ regretting this entire dinner. Jackie and Pete, to their credit, _tried_ to be polite, but it always came back to one thing — John didn’t have money, and they didn’t want him taking advantage of Rose. Rose stabbed violently at her slice of cake, but didn’t take a bite.

 _I don’t want to point out that you’re not eating because I’m sure you’re aware of it, and I know you don’t like it_ …

 _Then don’t point it out_.

“Did you play _all_ the old Pokémon games?” Tony had been popping in questions where he could. He was fascinated with John.

“All the ones until they moved the DS,” John said with a nod. “I got every version, too. My aunt said she’d rather I play video games than go out and get in trouble so she kept buying them for me.”

“That’s _awesome_. Mum and Dad won’t buy me the old ones, they said they’re all the same and I don’t need them.”

“Blasphemy,” John gasped, and Rose rolled her eyes. He was such a nerd.

“What else do you play?”

“These days mostly computer games. I just started a _great_ one, you play as a girl who can rewind time, it’s so cool. I haven’t gotten that far in, though, so much going on with school and stuff.”

“Really? That sounds kinda cool. Mum and Dad won’t let me play computer games, they don’t want me to meet strangers online.”

John started to say that the game didn’t have any online play, but decided against it. Who was he to argue with the Tyler parents? He wanted them to like him.

“I should probably get going,” John said as dinner began to wrap up.

“Why don’t you stay for a drink?” Pete suggested. John shook his head.

“Maybe some other time. I have a tutoring session tomorrow morning, I should really get home.” John smiled politely. “Thank you for having me. It was a great dinner, really.”

 _You’re nicer than I am_ , Rose said as she walked John to the door. John sighed.

 _It wasn’t that bad. Really_.

He pulled Rose into a tight hug before leaving. As soon as he was gone, Rose went straight back to the kitchen. Tony instantly ran out without any prompting.

“So are you happy yet?” She asked her parents. “Or do you still think he’s some kind of gold digger?”

“Rose we never thought that,” Pete said patiently. “You can’t blame us for wanting to get to know him.”

“I _can_ blame you for treating him like some kind of criminal, though.”

“We did _not_ treat him like a criminal,” Jackie said, a bit impatiently. “Stop overreacting.”

“ _Fine!_ ” Rose burst out, losing her patience. “Fine, whatever, I’m overreacting. Fine. Think what you want about him, I don’t care. _I_ love him and that’s all that matters.”

A very loud silence followed those words, both in the room and in Rose’s head. It took her a moment to realize what she had even said.

 _Love_.

 _Oh_.

“R-Rose you’re too young to—”

Rose ignored her father completely, turning and going upstairs. She was sure her parents would want to continue this conversation later.

She didn’t care.

 _Love?_ John said quietly, and Rose collapsed into her bed, burying her face in her pillow.

 _Yeah_. God he was probably disgusted. She was just a whiny little rich girl with make-believe problems, there was no way he would ever look at her and think—

 _I love you too_. The words put a complete stop to anything else Rose might have thought. _I wanted to do this differently, I wanted to do it in_ _ **person**_ _, but…_

 _You love me?_ Rose felt so small in that moment. It wasn’t possible. Was it?

 _Of course I do!_ John, on the other hand, sounded happy and more confident about than he had ever been about anything in his life. _Was there ever any doubt?_

Tears filled Rose’s eyes, and she started laughing. _You love me_.

_I do!_

_And I love you._

_Do you?_

_**YES!**_ Rose laughed harder. _Oh my god you idiot, yes._

 _Oh good_. John laughed too. _Good. Great. Brilliant_.

 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the delay on this chapter - I was sick Thursday, then Friday and Saturday were busy.

 

“You’re falling asleep.”

“ _Am nooooooot._ ”

“Are toooooooooooo,” John teased, laughing as Rose sleepily stuck her tongue out at him. They were on Skype again, mostly just watching each other and smiling stupidly. They’d spent so long silently communicating, words seemed unnecessary.

And now Rose was falling asleep. John could feel that she was tired, and of course he wasn’t going to keep her awake. But it was fun to tease her.

“ _Am…_ ” Rose yawned widely, burying her face in her arms, “ _not_.”

John grinned, lying back in his bed as he began singing quietly. Rose was tired. She needed to sleep.

“ _Not faaaaaaaaair,_ ” Rose whined. John shushed her and continued singing. It only took Rose a few minutes to fall asleep. John grinned as he felt her peace wash through his mind.

Watching and feeling her sleep was honestly one of the best things. John couldn’t wait for the day he could do it in person.

* * * * * * * *

“I want to visit John.”

Pete and Jackie sighed, exchanging looks. They’d been having this fight off and on with Rose since the dinner a few weeks earlier. “Rose, we told you, we don’t think it’s a good idea,” Pete said patiently. “It’s not appropriate.”

“I don’t _care_ ,” Rose said stubbornly. “And why is it so inappropriate anyways? He’s only two years older than me, and we’d just be hanging out.”

“And you would be spending the night in his dorm, _alone_. That’s not okay.”

“Only to you! Literally no one else would care, and if they did what does it matter? _You’re_ the one who keeps saying it doesn’t matter what other people think! Or is that just something you say to make me eat?”

“Rose, we said no, and that’s final,” Jackie cut in, frustrated. She was tired of fighting with her daughter. Rose scowled.

“Fine. _Fine_.”

She turned and stormed back upstairs. _Please stop thinking that_ , John said quietly.

 _You don’t know what I’m thinking_. The silence that followed those words was amazingly judgmental. _Yeah, okay, fine. You know what I’m thinking._

_If you sneak out they’re going to be angry. They already hate me. They’ll probably think I talked you into running away._

_I’m not_ _ **running away**_ _. I just want to see you. I don’t understand why they’re being such jerks about it_.

 _Yeah… I know_. Even John had to admit he was frustrated with Jackie and Pete Tyler. He understood they loved Rose.

He just wished they could see that he did as well.

 _I’m doing it,_ Rose said, determined. _Next weekend. I’m coming to see you._

_No talking you out of this, I’m guessing?_

_Nope_.

* * * * * * * *

In the end, Rose decided to skip school on Friday. John only had one class, so they could spend plenty of time together before Rose’s parents realized she was missing and came after her.

“What if they call police?” John asked as he picked Rose up outside of her school. She grinned as she bounced into the car.

“They won’t. That would be a huge scandal.”

And with that she threw herself across the console and hugged John tight. He grinned despite his misgivings, hugging her back.

“I missed you,” he murmured, Rose’s heart swelled.

“I missed you too.”

They went back to campus, and Rose hung out in John’s room while he went to his class. His room was a mess, of course. He’d always struck her as the kind of person who didn’t know how to keep a space clean.

“Hey!” John said as he walked back into the room an hour later. “How’s — did you clean my room?”

“Yes, it was a disaster,” Rose teased. John blushed, ducking his head.

“Yeah, well…” He rubbed the back of his head, smiling sheepishly. “Come on. Let’s get something to eat.”

They went to the campus cafeteria, Rose bouncing along excitedly and holding John’s hand. It was so _nice_ to be away from her parents and to feel like she had a choice in something she did. So much of her time was scheduled, sometimes it felt like she never had time for herself.

“John!”

They had just finished getting food when the voice called across the cafeteria, and they turned to see a red-headed young woman waving John down. “Hey Donna!” John said brightly, leading Rose toward the table the woman had commandeered. Rose instantly hunched up, trying not to be too nervous. She knew John had made a few friends, and some of them were women. That was okay. He loved Rose. It was okay.

John took Rose’s hand, clearly sensing her insecurity, and she smiled a bit. “Wait,” the woman said, clearly stunned. “Is this your girlfriend? Are you his girlfriend? You’re _real_?”

“Oi!” John griped as Rose giggled.

“Seriously, blink twice if you’re here against your will.”

John rolled his eyes, sitting, and Rose set down her food to properly introduce herself to John’s friend. “I’m Rose,” she said with a small smile. “And no, I’m not here against my will.”

“Are you _sure_?” John glared at the woman, and she grinned. “I’m Donna. Nice to meet you. I have to admit, I was kind of worried John was making you up.”

 _You talk about me?_ Rose asked, a bit surprised. John ducked his head, blushing a little.

 _I have a picture of you in my wallet. Donna saw it once and kind of thought I was crazy stalker person_.

Rose couldn’t stop herself from giggling. Her amusement covered up the shock of John having a picture of her that he carried around.

Unsurprisingly, Rose got a few strange looks. The sight of the Vitex heiress casually eating lunch with a strange boy was enough to turn heads. Rose just sat closer to John, keeping her head down and focusing on John, Donna, and her food. Donna didn’t seem to realize Rose was the Vitex heiress, or she just didn’t care. Either way, it never came up and Rose was grateful. It was nice to just pretend she was normal for a little bit.

“So are you spending the weekend?” Donna asked. Rose ducked her head, staring at her food.

“No. Just the day.” Or at least until her parents realized she was missing and stormed the campus looking for her. She _really_ wasn’t looking forward to that. Part of her felt like she should have thought this through better.

But she had wanted to see John.

They finished eating, and Donna had to run off to class, leaving them alone. “Wanna walk a bit?” John asked. “I can show you around campus.”

“Sure.” Rose grinned, and they headed back out onto campus. It really was _gorgeous_. Rose was kind of jealous that John got to live here and see it every day. “It’s so _pretty_ ,” she said, looking around.

“I bet you could get in here, if you wanted,” John said, and Rose laughed.

“No way, you have to be brilliant to get in.”

“You _are_ brilliant,” John insisted. “I’ve been tutoring you for years.”

Rose smiled a bit, nudging him with her elbow. “I don’t even know what I want to go to school for,” she admitted after a moment. “Is that bad?”

“Not really. I mean, I didn’t know either, I enrolled undecided.” John shrugged. “I didn’t declare a major until my first week.”

“Yeah but you’re smart. You’re _good_ at things.” John could have chosen any major and probably excelled at it. If he’d gone into art, he easily would have graduated top of his class and probably become a famous artist. He was good at _everything_.

“I am not.” John, of course, heard the thoughts going through Rose’s head. “And you’re good at plenty of stuff too.”

“Like what?”

“Music.” The answer was instant and without hesitation. “You’re a brilliant musician.”

“I’m alright…” Rose blushed a bit, ducking her head. She’d sort of slipped away from music in the last few months, with everything that had been going on. She missed it, though. Just the thought of playing again made her fingers itch, and she moved her free fingers as if she were preparing to play. John saw that, and felt her desire, and smiled.

“You could study music. You would be amazing.”

“I don’t know…”

John squeezed her hand, and she smiled a bit. “You’ve still got time. You don’t need to make a decision right this very minute. I’m just saying, there’s a lot you can do.”

“Well, there’s one option, anyways.”

“But it’s an option you like.”

Rose couldn’t argue with that. They finished their tour and went back to John’s dorm, settling down on his bed to watch a movie. Rose snuggled into John’s side, smiling peacefully. She could feel his content with the situation feeding into her own.

It was lovely.

“I love you,” John said quietly, and Rose felt her heart skip a beat. It was the first time either of them had said the words out loud.

Actually hearing them made her feel giddy.

“I love you too.” Rose grinned when she felt John’s elation, like a silent squeal, in her mind. “Dork.”

John laughed.

Rose ended up falling asleep, and John instantly forgot the movie in favor of just watching her sleep. It was even more beautiful without the computer screen between them. Seeing her so peaceful was just… wonderful.

He dared to drop a kiss to the top of her head, smiling when she shifted and her hair tickled his nose.

God, he loved her so much.

The movie was just ending when Rose’s mobile rang, waking her up. She groaned, reaching for it, and groaned again when she saw the caller ID.

“Dad.” John’s stomach dropped as she answered. “Hi Dad—” She was instantly cut off by Pete yelling. John couldn’t quite make out the words, but he could hear the tone. Pete was angry. “I’m sorry, I—” More yelling. “No, you don’t have to send — please don’t — Dad — okay, okay.”

Rose sighed as she hung up. “Dad’s sending a car to get me.” It hadn’t been hard for him to figure out where she was. Where else would Rose skip school and go?

“Well at least now your parents have a _reason_ to hate me,” John muttered, and Rose smiled weakly.

They sat outside John’s building, waiting for the car and holding hands the entire time. They didn’t say much. They didn’t have to. It was a nice, comfortable silence. And Rose never wanted it to end.

But of course, it did. The car came, and John pulled Rose into a hug, holding on for longer than what was absolutely necessary. This could very well be the last time he got to hold her until she turned eighteen, and he wanted to make the most of it.

“I love you,” he whispered again, and Rose smiled into his neck.

“I love you too.”

* * * * * * * *

“What in the _world_ were you thinking?!”

Pete and Jackie were furious. Rose had seen it coming, had prepared to deal with it, but she didn’t care. “I asked you permission,” she pointed out. “Over and over and over. You said no.”

“We said no for a _reason_ , Rose!”

“Because you don’t like him!”

“That has nothing to do with it!” Pete said angrily.

“Like hell it doesn’t!”

“ _Why_ we say no doesn’t matter,” Jackie cut in. “What matters is that we said no, and you _still_ disobeyed us—”

“You can’t control me forever. I’m not a little kid anymore!”

“We just want what’s best for you—”

“You don’t _know_ what’s best for me!” Rose half-yelled. “You don’t know _anything_ about me! You never have! I almost starved to death and you never even noticed! And who told you about it? _John_ did! John cut school and took a bus out here just to tell you what you could have seen if you’d just _paid attention_! You have no _clue_ what’s best for me!”

Jackie and Pete were both silent for a moment. Rose knew she had gone too far, but she didn’t care. She was so tired of fighting her parents just because they didn’t like John. She didn’t even _care_ why they didn’t like John anymore. None of it made sense to her. He had never done anything wrong.

“We can continue this conversation later,” Pete finally said stiffly. “Go to your room. You’re grounded.”

“Fine.” Rose turned on her heel and stormed upstairs, slamming her bedroom door as soon as she was inside.

 _I think you went too far_ , John said quietly.

 _I don’t care. I don’t_ _ **care**_.

The stunned, hurt look on her parents’ faces was still burned into her mind, though. Okay, maybe she cared a little.

 _Rose…_ John sounded hesitant. _I don’t want you to ruin your relationship with your parents just because of me. They’re your family._

_And you’re my soulmate. You’re just as important as they are._

_But they’re **still** your parents, and they’re important._

Rose sighed, flopping into bed and burying her face in her pillow. _Yeah. I know_.

That didn’t make any of this any easier, though.

* * * * * * * *

_What the **hell** are you doing?_

John had been quiet most of the morning, and Rose had figured he was busy. She’d spent the time focused on her flute, breaking it out, cleaning it, and beginning to play. It felt nice to play again.

She was taking a break when she heard the doorbell rang, and she realized who was at the door. _I want to talk to your parents_ , John said. _Alone. Keep playing. It’s nice_.

Rose sighed, looking down at her flute. She was desperate to go downstairs and see what was happening. But she really didn’t need to. She could watch the entire thing without leaving her room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review...?


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John talks to Rose's parents - and an agreement is reached.

To say Pete did not look pleased to see his daughter’s soulmate on his doorstep was an understatement. “John, I don’t think—”

“I’m not here to see Rose,” John said quickly before Pete could tell him off and slam the door in his face. “I want to talk to you and your wife. If that’s okay.”

For a moment it looked like Pete was going to just slam the door anyways. “I’m sure you’re aware there’s no way to keep Rose out of that conversation.”

“I don’t want to hide anything from her,” John returned quietly. “But she knows I want to talk to you alone, and she said she’ll stay upstairs.”

Pete looked John over for a long moment before finally stepping aside and allowing John inside. _So far so good_ , Rose murmured in the back of John’s head.

 _Shush. It’ll be okay_.

Rose’s doubt was silent, but somehow still loud. “Jackie?” Pete called, and Jackie appeared a moment later. Her face hardened when she saw John.

“What is _he_ doing here?”

“He wants to talk to us.” Pete, at least, seemed willing to give John a chance. “Why don’t we sit down in the study?”

“I have _nothing_ to say him,” Jackie said firmly. “He’s lucky we didn’t call the bloody cops and report him for kidnapping. Maybe he should just walk away while he still can.”

“Jackie,” Pete said gently. “Rose went to him on her own and we both know it. Now come on. Let’s talk.”

 _Down girl_ , John said quietly when he felt Rose bristling. He was starting to see a _lot_ of resemblances between Jackie and Rose.

 _Not. Funny_.

“I’m sure Rose is listening, of course,” Pete said quietly as they closed themselves in the office.

“Yeah,” John admitted. There was no point in hiding that. “But I asked her to stay out of it. I want to talk to you on my own.”

“Alright,” Pete said, settling in his chair. Jackie stayed standing by a window, arms crossed. Blimey, she was scary. “What do you want to talk about, then?”

John hesitated, resisting the urge to look away. Eye contact was crucial. “I know you don’t like me,” he said quietly. “I understand. I wouldn’t like it either if stranger came out of nowhere and said he’d been telepathically bonded to my daughter and they were hiding it for years. And if… if it would make you feel better… Rose and I don’t have to see each other again until we’re eighteen.”

 _WHAT?!_ Rose burst out, furious. _Don’t I get a say in this?!_

_I knew what you were going to say._

_You don’t get to make decisions for me!_

_I’m not!_ John exclaimed. _I just… do you really want to keep fighting with your parents for the next two years?_

“You’re talking to her, aren’t you?” Pete asked quietly. John blinked, surprised, and dragged himself back to reality. “Rose gets the same look whenever she’s talking to you. Kind of distant, like she’s not really here.”

“Sorry,” John said quietly. “She’s mad at me. I didn’t really… talk to her about the no-contact thing.”

Pete smiled humorlessly. “Trying to do what’s best for her. That’s a slippery slope to go down, John.” Rose went very quiet and still at that. “We want what’s best for Rose. I’m sure you understand that.”

“I do,” John replied. “And I want it, too. And if I thought… if I thought cutting her off completely and leaving her was what was best, then that’s what I would do. But it’s _not_ , because I know it’s not what she wants. And I know it’s not going to be best for her.”

“You can’t know that for sure,” Pete pointed out. “You can’t tell the future.”

“I know right now, cutting her off completely and never seeing her again isn’t what’s best for her,” John corrected himself. “If that changes in six months, or a year, or whatever, then I’ll reconsider. But right now she would be a lot unhappier if I never spoke to her again. And yes, I _do_ know that for sure. I have the advantage of being in her head. I know what it’ll do to her if I cut her off. And I’m not going to put her through that pain.”

_Besides, two years isn’t that long. It’s more like a year and a half. It’s just until you turn eighteen._

_It’s not fair_ , Rose muttered.

 _No_. John sighed inwardly. It wasn’t fair. But if her parents were going to continue to hate him and disapprove of their relationship, then there wasn’t much either of them could do.

And a year and a half wasn’t _that_ long.

“We want what’s best for Rose,” Pete said quietly. “She’s still young. And we’re worried about her.”

“I understand that,” John said quickly. “I do. And like I said, I want the same.”

“Our ideas of what’s best may differ slightly.”

“Probably,” John admitted. “We have different points of view, though.”

 _It’d be nice if someone would ask_ _ **me**_ _what’s best for me_ , Rose said bitterly. _Instead of sitting around trying to decide it_ _ **for**_ _me_.

… _I know. I’m sorry._

 _You’re forgiven. You’re still trying harder than they are_.

“Staying out of her life until she’s eighteen is the best I can do,” John said to Pete finally. “That doesn’t mean I’m staying out of her head, though. I won’t do that until she tells me to leave. And if that ever happens, I _will_ leave. I’m not going to force my way into her life if she doesn’t want me. She’s the only one who can make that decision, though. I’m not going to take that choice away from her.”

Pete and Jackie exchanged looks. “You don’t seem like a bad person, John,” Pete said finally. “And I’m sure it took a lot to come here and talk to us. But we worry about Rose. And I know you understand that. We want her to have as normal of a life as she possibly can. And no, that’s not always easy. But we’re trying.”

“And I want her to be happy,” John said. “Whether that involves having a ‘normal’ life or not.” Another look went between Pete and Jackie. “Like I said, I’ll stay away from her physically until she’s eighteen. I won’t cut her off, though. And I won’t force her into any more decisions she’s not happy with. That’s the best I can do. I’m sorry.”

Pete nodded slowly. “We don’t hate you, you know,” he said after a moment.

“I know.” Although he highly doubted that considering the look Jackie was giving him. “You’re just worried about Rose. I get that. I’m doing the best I can to help. But this is the most I can offer.”

There was a moment of silence, and finally John stood. There wasn’t much more to say. “Thank you for taking the time to talk to me,” he said quietly.

“Thank you for talking to us,” Pete replied in kind. “I hope you understand where we’re coming from.”

“I do.” Even if no one involved liked it.

Rose was standing outside the office door, arms folded as she leaned against the wall and waited.

 _What’re you_ —

Rose stepped forward without a word, grabbing John’s hand and dragging him toward her. And she got on her tiptoes, and kissed him.

John forgot pretty quickly why this was a horrible idea. They were _right_ in front of Rose’s parents, and he had _just_ told them he would stay away from her.

But it was Rose, and she was kissing him, and it felt _wonderful_. John wrapped his arms around Rose’s waist, pulling her close, and her hands rested against his chest. Her content with the situation washed through John’s mind, and he was sure she could feel his utter elation.

It was incredible.

Pete coughed, clearing his throat pointedly, and John and Rose quickly separated. John felt his cheeks heating up slightly, but Rose’s jaw was set, and she glared at her parents, as if daring them to say something about it. They didn’t.

“I’ll walk you to the door,” Rose said, a bit bitterly. She took John’s hand and led him to the door.

“You probably shouldn’t have done that,” John said quietly.

“This is the last time I’m going to see you until I turn eighteen, apparently. They can deal with it.”

They got to the door, and John pulled Rose into a tight hug. _This sucks,_ she whispered as she clung to him. _I hate this. I hate them_.

_They’re your parents._

_That doesn’t mean I have to like them_.

John sighed, kissing the top of her head. He had been trying to make things easier at home for Rose. But he had a feeling he had just made it worse.

 _It’s just a year and a half. It’s not that bad. It’ll fly by_.

 _Yeah_. Rose squeezed him tight for another long moment before finally pulling away.

 _Besides, it’s not like I’m going to be_ _ **that**_ _far._ John grinned, tapping her temple, and she giggled a bit.

 _Fair enough. Okay, go_.

John squeezed her hand one more time before leaving. Rose sighed, rocking back on her heels and staring sadly at the door as it closed behind John.

It was only a year and a half. It’d be fine.

* * * * * * * *

“Someone needs his laundry done,” Sarah Jane teased, and John blushed a bit, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I mean, I just need to borrow the washer and dryer. I can do it all myself, I just… don’t have any quarters.”

Sarah Jane smiled. “I suppose I should be happy you have any reason to come home at all.” She stood, pulling John into a hug.

They went downstairs together  so they could talk while John got his clothes in the washer. “How’re things with Rose?” Sarah Jane asked finally, and John sighed.

“Complicated.” He ran a hand through his hair, dumping some detergent into washer and starting it before telling Sarah Jane everything that had happened over the last couple days.

“Yikes,” Sarah Jane said when John was finally done. “I can’t say I blame her parents for being mad that she skipped school…”

“I know, I don’t either. And I think she gets it, too.”

 _Meh_ , Rose mumbled, and John snorted, trying not to laugh. Sarah Jane smiled a bit.

“She’s talking to you, isn’t she?” That surprised John a bit. “You always get this look on your face whenever you two are talking. And this stupid little smile.”

“It’s not _stupid_ ,” John said, wholly offended, and Sarah Jane laughed.

“Sure, sweetie. Alright.”

 _At least_ _ **someone**_ _supports us_. Rose sounded… so sad. John didn’t blame her.

“Do you… you believe me when I say I love her, right?” John asked Sarah Jane uncertainly. “Even though I’ve never really dated anyone else?”

“I believe you know how you feel,” Sarah Jane said. “If you say you’re in love with her then yes, I believe that. You don’t need to have dated a lot of people to know you’re in love with someone. There’s no quota you have to reach before love can happen. Honestly, I think you and Rose are lucky to have each other. You’ve already had so much time with the person you love. Some people would give anything to be in your place. Besides, love isn’t a matter of convenience. You didn’t fall in love with Rose just because she was there. You fell in love because it was meant to happen.”

John relaxed a little, smiling. He could feel Rose’s relief in the back of his head as well. It was hard not to question things when her parents were so insistent that Rose needed to date and explore her options before settling on John.

It was nice to hear someone saying that they could just be in love.

“Thanks, Aunt Sarah.”

Sarah Jane smiled, pressing a kiss to John’s forehead. “Are you happy with Rose?”

“Yes,” John said at once. “So happy.”

“And is Rose happy with you?”

 _Absolutely_.

“She says absolutely.”

“Then that’s all that matters,” Sarah Jane assured them both. “I know it’s hard not to have her parents support, but as long as you’re both happy, no one else’s opinions matter.”

 _I like her_ , Rose said brightly, and John laughed a bit.

 _Yeah. Me too_.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose: 16/17
> 
> John: 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the delay on this chapter; I spent last weekend with my fiancee and didn't have time to write.

_I can’t sleep._

_Me neither_.

Rose and John sighed out loud, both staring at their ceilings. They weren’t entirely sure who was keeping who awake — they both had a lot on their minds. The root of the insomnia was nearly impossible to track.

This separation wasn’t going well.

 _I could talk to Mum and Dad_ —

 _No_. John sighed again. _I said I would stay away, and I meant it. Maybe if we just wait until you’re eighteen, they’ll be a little happier with us_.

 _This sucks_.

 _Yeah_.

John was quiet for a moment before he finally began singing. _One_ of them deserved to sleep. _Not fair_ , Rose protested, but John ignored her. _Rude_ , Rose mumbled even as she started to fall asleep, and John smiled a bit.

_I love you._

_Love you too..._

With that, she was out. John rolled onto his side, just enjoying the feeling of Rose sleeping. Eventually it lulled him off to sleep as well.

Seventeen more months.

* * * * * * * *

Rose was a bit bitter that she didn’t get to see John for his birthday.

It was on a Saturday this year, and she wanted to spend it with him. They could have gone out to dinner together or something.

But of course, that would be _inappropriate_.

“Rose, what do you want to do for your birthday this year?” Jackie asked during dinner that night. She was mostly trying to get Rose talking — Rose had been quiet all day, focusing on John. Since she couldn’t actually _be_ with him.

 _I want to see John_ , she thought bitterly.

 _Please don’t say that_. John cared so much more about keeping the peace with Rose’s parents than Rose did.

 _Fine_.

“I don’t know,” Rose said, poking at her chicken for a long moment before finally taking a bite. “Maybe just dinner or something.”

“You don’t want a party?”

“Not really.” She had never really liked those stupid parties anyways. They were more for her parents than they were for her.

“She probably wants John to come over,” Tony spoke up, and Rose nearly choked on the water she had been taking a sip of. Sometimes her brother was alright.

“Tony, shush,” Pete reprimanded Tony.

“What? I bet I’m right. Ow!” He tacked on that last bit when Rose kicked him under the table. She tried to avoid bringing up John around her parents. As much as she wanted to see him, she didn’t want to get into another fight.

Even if Tony _wasn’t_ wrong.

Pete and Jackie ignored that, of course. John wasn’t the most comfortable subject — they tried to avoid talking about him as much as they could. It almost felt like he was some dirty little secret.

Rose _really_ hoped John was right and waiting until she was eighteen would actually _help_.

“I think just a dinner or something would be fine,” Rose said, changing the subject. “And a cake.”

“A dinner sounds great,” Pete, surprisingly, agreed, and Rose relaxed a little. She would have been just as happy to forget the whole thing altogether, but if they had to do something, she was glad they were doing what she wanted.

She didn’t want any more big parties.

* * * * * * * *

“Why’re you so pouty?”

“I am _not_ pouty.”

Donna poked John’s cheek with her pen, and he made a face, swatting it away. “Pouty.”

“Do you want help with your Biology homework or not?”

Donna sobered up at once. She didn’t _really_ think John would stop tutoring her if she annoyed him too much. But she also wasn’t going to take that chance. They focused on Donna’s work for a few more minutes.

“So how’s your girlfriend?” Donna asked finally.

“She’s good.” John twiddled his pen between his fingers. She was currently at band rehearsal, and he was just a bit distracted with listening to her play. It was brilliant. And she was _so_ happy to be playing again. John loved it.

“She didn’t leave you yet?”

“Nope.”

“That’s definitely love.”

John rolled his eyes and grabbed his bag, starting to stand. “No, I’m joking!” Donna said at once. “I’m kidding, I’m sorry, please don’t leave.”

He hadn’t _actually_ planned on leaving of course, but it was still funny to see Donna begging him not to go. John smirked a bit as he sat again. “Stop getting distracted, then.”

“Alright, alright…”

* * * * * * * *

“Rose?”

Rose looked up from her textbook, sighing inwardly when she saw both her parents standing in her bedroom door. “Yeah?” She said cautiously, turning to look at them.

“Can we come in?” Rose nodded, and Jackie and Pete stepped into the room, sitting on Rose’s bed. “We want to talk to you about something,” Pete said slowly. Rose bit her tongue to keep from asking what _else_ they wanted to take from her.

“What is it?”

“Well…” Pete looked at Jackie, who didn’t look necessarily pleased, but she nodded all the same. “We know you want to see John.” Rose blinked, stunned, and John instantly perked up at the sound his name. “We think… maybe… if he would be willing to come here… it would be alright.”

“…What?”

_What?_

“ _Only_ here,” Pete said firmly. “No more skipping school and running off to his dorm. You’ll be supervised here, and not allowed alone in your room. He’s welcome to spend the weekend, but he’ll be in a guest room.”

Rose just stared, stunned. She couldn’t believe it. All this, and now they were just giving in? _My head hurts_ , John said.

 _Mine too_. “Why?” Rose finally managed to ask. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

“We can tell you miss him,” Jackie said quietly. “And… if he’s here, there’s no reason we can’t make it work.”

 _They’re giving me whiplash_.

 _Same_. But Rose wasn’t going to complain. “Can he come over for my birthday?” She asked at once, lighting up a bit.

“We figured you were going to ask that,” Pete admitted. “And yes, he can. He can spend the weekend, if he’d like.”

_Would you like?_

_Yes!_

“He’d like to,” Rose said at once, her heart pounding excitedly. Having to be supervised was a small price to pay considering she’d thought she wouldn’t see John for another year.

She’d take it.

* * * * * * * *

Rose was bouncing excitedly, waiting for John. He was coming over that night and staying until Sunday. She was _so_ excited.

She was also nervous about him being around her parents, but she felt like he had earned a lot of points by offering not to see her until she was eighteen, and then sticking to that.

Rose hoped he had earned points, anyways.

The doorbell rang, and she nearly flew out of her skin. “I’ll get it!” She practically yelled, feeling like a small child as she ran to the door, throwing it open. John beamed when he saw her.

“Hello!”

Rose threw herself at John, hugging him tight. “Hello!” She said happily, pulling back to kiss him.

“Eeeeeewwwww.” Tony, of course, had wandered out to see John. He had really liked him.

“Shut up,” Rose said over her shoulder. John laughed.

“Oh, hey, Tony, I’ve got something for you…” He dug through his bag, pulling out a case. “My old Gameboy Color, and all the Pokemon games.”

Tony’s eyes lit up. “No _way_!” John held it out, and Tony instantly sprang forward to grab it, going through the case. “This is so cool!”

“Keep them as long as you want, I’m not doing anything with them.”

“He’s gonna love you forever, now,” Rose murmured to John as Tony ran back to the living room to start playing.

“That was the plan,” John whispered back, kissing Rose’s cheek. She grinned.

“Hello John,” Jackie said politely as Rose led John into the living room. Polite was the best Rose could hope for, she supposed.

“Hi Mrs. Tyler. Thank you so much for letting me come over, I really appreciate it.”

“Of course. We’re happy to have you.”

That was either not entirely the truth, or Rose’s parents had been replaced by body snatchers. But Rose wasn’t going to complain.

“I’m going to show John to the guest room.”

“Straight back downstairs after!” Jackie called after them while Tony made kissing noises. Rose rolled her eyes.

She did grab John for another kiss, however. John happily returned it before pulling her into a tight hug. “I missed you,” he whispered into her hair, and Rose smiled a bit, snuggling into his chest.

“I missed you too. So much.”

They dropped John’s bag off in the guest room, then went back downstairs, settling into the sun room. It was downstairs, but out of the way, and gave them a little bit of privacy. “This is nice,” John said as they flopped down on a couch, and Rose snuggled into his chest.

“This is my favorite room,” Rose admitted. “I like to try and practice down here if I’m home alone.” Her parents didn’t necessarily hate the sound of her practicing, but she knew it wasn’t enjoyable to listen to her mess up over and over. She felt bad when she put John through it.

“You know you gotta play for me while I’m here, right?” John asked teasingly, and Rose laughed.

“Not sure how we’re gonna do that since you’re not allowed in my room.” Her parents had been _very_ clear on the rules, and Rose didn’t want to mess around. She knew they’d gotten lucky with her parents giving in. She wasn’t going to push it.

“We’re two smart people, we can figure it out.” John kissed the top of Rose’s head, holding her tight. It was so _nice_ to be able to hold her again. He had missed this so much.

He had missed _her_.

* * * * * * * *

John was humming in Rose’s head as she woke up the next morning. If she concentrated _really_ hard, she could almost pretend like he was holding her. _Happy birthday_ , John said quietly when he realized Rose aways awake. She smiled softly.

_You’re here._

_Am I?_ John asked in mock shock. _Oh hey, I thought this looked a little different from my dorm room_.

Rose rolled her eyes, laughing. _You’re ridiculous_.

 _You love me_.

 _For_ _ **some**_ _reason_. Rose hesitated for a moment before suddenly hopping out of bed. It was early. No one else was awake yet.

 _Rose_ —

 _Just for a minute! Besides, it’s not like we’re gonna_ _ **do**_ _anything._ She just wanted to cuddle for a few minutes. It was her birthday, after all.

She tip-toed out of her room, making sure her parents’ door was closed before hurrying down the hall to the guest room. “This is such a bad idea,” John whispered as Rose let herself in. Still, he raised the blankets, and Rose hopped into bed, snuggling into him.

“Just for a few minutes,” she insisted, taking a deep breath. She felt so safe in his arms. So at home.

She loved it.

She loved _him_.

Rose stayed a _little_ longer than she meant to, but her parents were thankfully still asleep when she left her room. She went back to her room and crawled back into bed, smiling a bit stupidly. John had that effect on her.

Rose and John properly “got up” when they heard Pete leave his and Jackie’s room. They were probably over thinking it, but they were afraid it would be suspicious if they were up before Rose’s parents. Better safe than sorry.

“Happy birthday, love,” Pete said with a smile when Rose and John walked into the kitchen.

“Thanks,” Rose said brightly, leaning in to kiss Pete’s cheek. They settled down at the table as breakfast was brought out. Rose’s favorite, of course.

“Got enough syrup?” John teased as Rose drowned her pancakes in syrup.

“Shut up.”

“She’s just like her mother,” Pete informed John with a small smile. “I’m surprised they can even _taste_ their food.”

“It’s not _that_ bad,” Rose said, rolling her eyes. Pete just smiled indulgently.

“Of course not, sweetie.”

Pete had to admit, he’d had his doubts about allowing this contact with John. He and Jackie had talked a _lot_ about it, and had finally concluded if they could have some control over it, it would be fine.

And Rose had been _so_ much happier ever since they’d told her she could see John again. And seeing her so happy now… that made it worth it. Even if Pete didn’t necessarily agree with the relationship and wished Rose would try to expand her horizons, she was happy.

And that was all that mattered.

And John _really_ wasn’t that bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review...?


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John: 19
> 
> Rose: 17

_I’m an idiot._

John looked up from his textbook, frowning. _You are not. What’s wrong?_

 _I don’t know_. Rose sighed, and John had a feeling she was dropping her head on her desk. _I thought this A-level thing was a good idea but now I’m not so sure._

 _Of course it was_ , John said at once. _You’re brilliant_.

 _I don’t feel brilliant_ , Rose said dismally. _I feel like an idiot_.

 _Why don’t I come over this weekend and help you study? I bet I can help you even more in person_. Especially since they’d probably have to study in full view of her parents, making it impossible for them to get distracted. Rose giggled a bit at his train of thought.

 _Yeah, that might be good_.

* * * * * * * *

Jackie and Pete were gone when John got to Rose’s on Saturday, but they had still given John full permission to come over, since he was helping Rose study — as long as they stayed in the living room. Tony _had_ been in the living room, but Rose had kicked him out when he kept trying to talk to John about video games.

“He’s here to help _me_ , not you. Get lost.”

Tony stuck his tongue out at Rose before leaving, and they returned their attention to Rose’s books, spread out over the coffee table.

“I’m an idiot,” Rose sighed after a few minutes. John kissed her temple.

“You are not, shush,” he scolded her gently. Rose frowned, staring intently at the books.

“What if I fail?” She asked quietly after a minute. “What if I can’t get into any universities?”

“Then… you can try again. Or if you want, you don’t have to try again. You can just… get a job. If you want a job. I doubt your parents would make you get one.” Honestly, it was a miracle Rose and Tony were as well-grounded as they were. Pete and Jackie were good about not spoiling them _too_ much, but Tony was the same age John had been when he had gotten his first job, and there was no way in hell Tony was going to go out and tutor people for pocket money. John was sure if Rose didn’t want to get a job right away, Pete would be more than happy to pay for things for her.

“But if I don’t get into university…” Rose’s voice drifted off, and John tilted his head, frowning.

“Then what?”

Rose struggled with the words for a moment before finally giving up and just reaching out to John with her mind, letting him feel everything. John knew she had a lot of insecurities, but she was good at tucking them behind a wall and never letting John too close.

But he felt it now. He felt her worries. She was so afraid of not being good enough for John. She was afraid he would be _bored_ with her because she wasn’t as smart as him.

She was scared he was going to leave her.

“Hey…”

He took her hand and pulled her into a tight hug, kissing the top of her head. “You _are_ smart, first of all. Your biggest problem is that you get psyched up and anxious. But being smart isn’t what makes you good enough.”

“Easy for you to say,” Rose muttered; it would’ve been hard for John to miss the flash of resentment that went through her at those words. “You’re brilliant.”

“Yeah, okay, fine, I’m good at school,” John ceded. “That doesn’t make me a good person. A good person is kind, they care about others, they want to help and take care of others. Being a good person isn’t dictated by your A-levels or if you even went to university.”

Rose sighed, snuggling into John’s chest for a minute. “Yeah,” she mumbled finally. “I know. I’m sorry. I sound like a brat.”

“No, you sound frustrated,” John disagreed, pulling back to look down at Rose. “And I get that. I do. But you gotta give yourself more credit. And stop being so hard on yourself if you don’t get something right away. You’re your own biggest enemy.”

“Okay. Okay.” Rose took a deep breath, sighing. “Come on, let’s get back to work.”

John leaned in to kiss Rose before they started again. He knew she was worried. He knew she was insecure. And he knew he was at least part of the reason for that.

So he did his best to pour every bit of love and affection he felt for Rose into that kiss, and into her mind. He loved her, wholly and completely, no matter what.

And he wanted her to know that.

The kiss ended quite abruptly when they heard the front door open, and quickly pulled apart. Not that they were _doing_ anything, but they still knew Jack and Pete wouldn’t appreciate walking in on their daughter and her boyfriend making out when they were supposed to be studying.

* * * * * * * *

“ _So I think I’m gonna move back with Sarah Jane for the summer, and try to find an apartment in London that won’t completely bankrupt me for the school year_.”

“I bet if I asked Dad he would help you pay for an apartment,” Rose said thoughtfully, and John made a face.

“ _I don’t really want to ask your dad for money. Especially since they already half think I’m some kind of gold digger._ ”

“I think Dad’s starting to come around.” At the very least, he seemed happy that John seemed willing to spend so much time helping Rose study. “And I mean, I’m going to live there too in less than a year, so he’ll want to make sure you’re not anywhere _too_ dangerous.”

John’s expression went slack at that, and Rose could feel him mentally floundering. “ _Oh. R-Right. Yeah. Um. I’ll make sure I get a decent place, we don’t have to bother your dad for money.”_

Rose made a face. “What’s wrong?”

“ _It’s nothing. You should probably get some sleep, it’s late_.”

“No, what’s wrong?” Rose demanded, trying to stamp down on the anxiety that was threatening to fill her. “Do you not want to live with me?”

“ _No, I do_!” John said quickly, and Rose believed him. “ _I just, um… we um… we’ve never really been…_ _ **alone**_ _, ya know?”_

“Yeah, it’ll be great,” Rose said at once. “Right?”

“ _I… I just… um…_ ”

He waved his hands nervously, and for the first time… ever, really, Rose realized he was anxious and nervous. That was new.

“What’s wrong?”

John ducked his head, and it was hard to tell with the bad camera quality, but Rose was pretty sure he was blushing. _We’ve never really been… alone, ya know?_

 _Yeah, you mentioned that._ Rose wasn’t sure why he had switched to the bond, but she wasn’t going to call him on it.

 _So we’ve never, um… ya know… um…_ He was waving his hands again; his mind going a mile a minute, and Rose couldn’t keep up. _We’ve never… done anything more than… ya know, kiss_.

 _Yeah, I know — oh_. Sex. He was talking about sex. John was definitely blushing now. _Do you… do you_ _ **want**_ _to have sex?_

 _Not… Not really. That’s the thing. I don’t really want… I mean, I love you!_ He must have felt the sudden spike of worry that went through Rose’s head. _I just… I’m not… really interested in sex, I guess. Like, it’s not something I care about. I’ve never even, um_ …

He waved his hand again, clearly too uncomfortable to say the words, but Rose got the gist of it. _Okay_ , she said quietly. _I mean, if you don’t want sex, we don’t have to have sex. As long as we’re together, that’s all that matters, right?_

The relief that flooded through John was immediate; his blush disappeared, and he beamed. _Yeah. Being together is all that matters_.

His smile was infectious. Rose grinned as well, giggling a bit.

God, she loved him.

* * * * * * * *

“Um… Mum? Dad?”

Pete and Jackie looked over at Rose, a bit surprised. Rose was rocking back and forth, hands clasped behind her back. She was nervous. It had gotten easier to talk to her parents about John. But she knew this particular topic was going to upset them.

“Can I talk to you about something?”

They recognized that voice. That was her ‘this is going to involve John’ voice. “Of course, sweetheart.” Jackie paused the movie they were watching, and Rose stepped into the living room, sitting down in the arm chair across from the couch.

“So um… you… you know when I turn eighteen, I’m moving out, right?” She had thought it was obvious — of _course_ she would move in with John as soon as she was able. But after the conversation with John, she was worried. What if they hadn’t realized it?

“We… suspected, yes,” Pete replied. Jackie’s jaw clenched noticeably. Rose tried not to be too put off by it. “I suppose John will be looking for a place to live.”

“Yeah, he’s going to go back to his aunt’s for the summer and find somewhere to live for the start of the school year,” Rose said. “But um… he doesn’t have a lot of money, you know.”

 _Rose!_ It had taken longer than Rose had thought for John to catch on to what she was doing. Rose frowned.

 _It’s not just for you. It’s for me, too. They’ll be happier if I’m somewhere they approve of. And I’ll be happier because they’re happier_. _And you’ll be happier because maybe they won’t hate you. Everyone will be happier._

“Arguing with him?” Pete guessed. Rose rubbed the back of her head, sighing a bit.

“He doesn’t want me to talk to you about this,” Rose admitted. _Now you know how it feels_.

 _That’s low_.

“ _If_ John wants help,” Pete said slowly, “we can discuss it with him. Especially if you’re going to be living with him someday soon. But that’s a conversation we’d like to have with him, not through you.”

Rose had to struggle not to smile. _See? I told you. I think they’re starting to like you._

 _Let’s not get crazy here_.

“I’ll talk to him about it.” Rose blew out a long breath before quietly adding, “Thank you. I know you don’t… entirely approve of all of this.”

Another look went between Jackie and Pete. “We want you to be happy, sweetheart,” Jackie finally said. “That’s all we’ve ever wanted. I hope you understand.”

 

“I do.” It was hard to believe sometimes with the way they acted, but in a lot of ways Rose _did_ know it. They just… all had different ideas what would make Rose happy.

Rose stood, crossing the living room to kiss each of her parents and hug them both.

“Thank you.”

* * * * * * * *

 _I’m an idiot_.

John sighed, looking up from his textbook. _You are not. You’re just getting down on yourself again_.

_It’s kind of hard not to get down on myself when I’m an idiot._

_Hey,_ John said firmly, frowning. _Listen to me. You are_ _ **not**_ _an idiot. Your self esteem just sucks, and you’re too hard on yourself. Why don’t we take a break from studying for a bit? Go do something you’re good at, get your mind off things._

_Right. Sure. What am I good at again?_

_Flute. Go play your flute._

Rose sighed, but her attention turned to getting her flute and music out. A few moments later, the gentle sound of music drifted down the bond, and John smiled a bit. He knew focusing on music for a bit would help Rose get her mind off her worries.

And it was nice for him, too. Listening to Rose play was always a highlight of his day.

 _You know_ , Rose said thoughtfully after a minute. _When we live together, you’ll have to listen to me play all the time. In person. Especially if I major in music. You might get sick of it after a while._

 _Never_ , John said instantly and sincerely. He couldn’t imagine any scenario where he got sick of listening to Rose play.

He couldn’t imagine any scenario where he got sick of anything Rose said or did.

 _Sap_ , Rose said, catching on to that train of thought. John laughed a bit.

 _But I’m your sap_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review...?


	18. Chapter Eighteen

In the end, John decided not to take Pete’s and Jackie’s help.

He appreciated that they were even willing to discuss it, but he was trying to prove a point — that he loved Rose, and he wasn’t just after her for her money.

 _You’re ridiculous_ , Rose grumbled, and John could practically _hear_ her rolling her eyes.

 _I’ll still find a nice enough place for us_ , John promised. _And maybe we can talk about them helping pay the rent when you’re living there._ _ **Maybe**_.

 _Fine. If you want to be stubborn, be stubborn_. She didn’t sound annoyed, or even frustrated. She absolutely thought John was being ridiculous, but she wasn’t _mad_ at him for it.

_You love me._

_Yeah, yeah._

* * * * * * * *

“Why don’t you invite Rose over for dinner?”

John nearly choked on his tea. “I — what?”

Sarah Jane smiled, a bit amused. “I know her parents want to supervise her, but I like to think I’m a responsible adult, too. It’s worth asking, at least. And I’d like to properly meet her.”

“Okay, but… what exactly are you planning on _feeding_ her?”

Sarah Jane kicked John’s shin lightly, and he yelped in pretend pain. “Just ask her.”

“Yes ma’am.” John turned his attention inward. _You catch any of that?_

 _I can’t promise my parents are going to go for it_ , Rose said with a sigh. _Maybe you could both come here? I mean, if she wants to meet me_ …

Back to Sarah Jane. “She’s not sure her parents would let her come over. If you want to meet her, though, they might let both of us come over for dinner.”

Sarah Jane raised an eyebrow. “They really do have her on a short leash, don’t they? No offense, Rose.”

 _None taken. She’s right_.

John _deeply_ appreciated that Sarah Jane acknowledged Rose’s presence, even when she wasn’t actually in the room. It made him feel like she really was accepting of all this. “She said you’re right.” _Do you want to try and ask about coming over here, or just ask if we can both go there?_

 _Already going to ask them if I can go there_.

Rose found her mother in the sun room; her father’s office door had been closed, so she assumed he was making a phone call. “Hi Mum. Are you busy?”

Jackie looked up from the magazine she was flipping through. “Not at all, sweetheart. What’s up?”

Rose settled down on the couch next to her, hesitating for a moment. _If they say no, it’s not a big deal_ , John assured her gently. It kind of was, though. Rose wanted to meet Sarah Jane — _really_ meet her — and she wanted to do it on her own terms, not her parents’. _It’ll be alright either way_.

 _Yeah._ “Um… John’s aunt invited me over for dinner,” she finally rushed out. “And I’d _really_ like to go. I know you and Dad want to supervise me and John, but his aunt’s an adult, too. She  can make sure we’re staying out of trouble just as easily.”

That last part was added just a bit bitterly. She knew her parents were worried about them having sex if they were left alone. And there was no way in _hell_ they were ever going to believe John didn’t want sex.

Jackie frowned. “Oh, I’m not sure, Rose…”

“ _Please_ , Mum?” Rose begged. “His aunt will be there, you can call and ask if you want. She’s the one who brought it up and invited me. It wasn’t even John’s idea. _Please_?”

She really wanted to do this. She wanted to be able to see John without having to worry about her parents hovering over them. She knew Sarah Jane would keep a close eye on them, of course. But maybe it wouldn’t be as suffocating. Jackie sighed. “Let me talk to your father. And we’ll want to talk to his aunt, of course.”

 _I’ll text you the home phone number_ , John said. _Hey, at least it isn’t a no_.

It wasn’t a yes either, though. And that made Rose nervous.

* * * * * * * *

Three days.

It was taking Jackie and Pete _three days_ to decide this, apparently. Rose was going spare. _At least they haven’t said no yet_ , John pointed out.

 _They’re probably trying to figure out how to say no without it turning into world war three_ , Rose grumbled. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to fight them on this. She knew it wasn’t something she was going to win, after all. _You know… I’m not even sure they’re going to let me move out when I turn eighteen._

 _I’m sure they will_ , John said at once. _I mean, they don’t really have much of a choice unless they lock you in your room and throw away the key. And they’re not_ _ **that**_ _bad_.

 _Yeah_ … Rose wasn’t so sure about that, though.

 _They’re_ _ **not**_ _that bad, Rose_ , John assured her. _I know it frustrates you that they’re so overprotective, but they_ _ **do**_ _love you, and they just want what’s best for you. That’s_ _ **why**_ _they’re so overprotective._

 _I know. I_ _ **know**_. Rose sighed, frustrating. _I just wish they’d lighten up a bit. Tony gets to be alone with_ _ **his**_ _boyfriend_.

 _They’re probably not worried about anyone getting pregnant in that scenario_ , John commented dryly. Rose snorted.

 _I wish I could just tell them you don’t want sex_.

_They would **never** believe it._

_Or they’d think you’re just trying to trick naive little old me so you can seduce me and steal away my innocence_.

They both laughed, though it was cut short by a knock at Rose’s door. She looked up from her textbook (she was supposed to be studying, but talking to John was more fun), and called, “Come in.”

Jackie and Pete walked in. _Here we go_.

 _It’ll be okay_.

“Are you busy?” Pete asked, eying the textbook.

“Nope,” Rose said at once. “So can I go to John’s aunt’s for dinner?”

Pete and Jackie _almost_ smiled. _Right to the point, huh?_ John teased.

 _No point in wasting time_.

“We’ve talked it over,” Jackie said. “And… we have a few rules, but we see no reason why you can’t go to John’s aunt’s.”

“What, _really_?” Rose asked in disbelief.

“We have rules—”

“Of course you do, that’s fine, _thank you_!” Rose practically squealed as she flew at her parents, hugging them tight. They smiled as they returned the hugs.

“Rules,” Pete repeated firmly, and Rose pulled away.

“Right, right, what are they?”

“John can pick you up and bring you home, but you go straight to his aunt’s and straight home. You aren’t alone together, especially in his room, and we want you home by nine.”

The not being alone together rule was _really_ starting to annoy Rose, but she could get over it. They only had eight more months before they Rose turned eighteen. She could wait to be alone with him if she had to wait.

No matter how frustrating it was.

“That’s fine,” Rose said at once. “That’s all absolutely fine. Thank you!” She threw herself at her parents, hugging them again.

 _See, I told you it wouldn’t be that bad_ , John teased.

 _Shut up_.

* * * * * * * *

The night of the dinner didn’t come soon enough. Rose was practically _vibrating_ as she waited for John to get to the house.

 _Two more minutes_.

“Rose sit _down_ ,” Jackie scolded her pacing daughter lightly. “He’ll be here when he gets here.”

“Two more minutes,” Rose said at once, and Jackie rolled her eyes.

“You know _exactly_ when he’ll be here, so sit down.”

Tony, who was curled up in the arm chair playing a game, made kissing noises, and Rose rolled her eyes. “I guess now would be a bad time to mention I saw you and your boyfriend with your shirts off while you were making out the other day.”

“ _WHAT?!_ ” Jackie yelled at once while Tony choked on air and spluttered. “PETE!”

 _I’m here_.

Rose was smirking as she grabbed her bag and hurried for the door. “Bye!”

“I hate you!” Tony yelled after her. Rose heard him stuttering, “We weren’t _doing_ anything—” as she closed the door behind her and hurried down the driveway, where John was waiting.

“I wasn’t paying attention,” John said as Rose hopped into the car. “What happened?”

“Tony was being annoying so I told Mum I saw him and his boyfriend snogging and shirtless.”

“That’s cruel.” John was laughing as he turned around and headed out of the driveway.

“Hey, they’re so worried about _me_ having sex, they should be just as worried about Tony.”

John was grinning as he reached over, squeezing Rose’s hand for a moment. “Good to see you.”

Rose was beaming. “You too.”

Sarah Jane was hard at work when John and Rose got back to the house. She abandoned the food immediately, hurrying out to greet her nephew and his girlfriend. “Hello Rose,” she said brightly, opening her arms for a hug that Rose happily gave her. She _loved_ Sarah Jane, even if they had never actually met. She was always just so nice, and she even talked to Rose through John and made her feel involved in conversations that involved her. Even her own parents didn’t do that sometimes. “How are you?”

“I’m great. Thanks so much for having me over,” Rose said politely.

“How’s dinner doing?” John asked as the faint smell of something burning reached his nose, and a moment later the fire alarm went off.

“Oh _damn it_!” Sarah Jane yelped, hurrying back to the kitchen. John looked at Rose.

“Take away okay?”

“Sounds brilliant.”

John went to get the menus while Rose settled down in the living room. Sarah Jane was putting out a fire on the stove. “We’re going to look at menus. You want your usual from whatever we decide?”

“Yes please.” Sarah Jane sighed. “I tried, I swear.”

John kissed her cheek, smiling. “I know. We appreciate it.”

They settled on Chinese, and John placed the order. “Sarah Jane’s cleaning up the kitchen,” he said when he was done. “Food should be here soon.”

Rose smiled as she leaned over to kiss John, and he happily returned it. Just because he didn’t want sex, didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy kissing Rose. Honestly, it was one of his favorite things. And Rose knew it.

“Oh!” John said when they pulled apart. “I’ve started looking at places, wanna see?”

“Ooooooooh, yes,” Rose said at once. She’d planned on mentally tagging along with John when he started actually going to see apartments, but she hadn’t been paying much attention to his internet searches. John grabbed his laptop off the table, and Rose blushed a bit when she saw that his login screen was a picture of her.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“You love me.” John typed in his password quickly, opening his browser. He had about ten apartments that he _really_ liked, and five more backups. _One_ of them had to work out. He hoped, at least. “I’m looking into getting another job, too. The library usually hires students to sit at the front desk and help people or check out books, I’d probably be good at that. I put in an application yesterday. I could probably start before the school year starts.”

“Just don’t work too hard,” Rose said with a small frown. John already had a full class load and a full-time tutoring job. Rose didn’t want him to burn himself out.

“Oh thank god, _someone_ in this relationship has some common sense,” Sarah Jane teased as she walked into the living room. “I keep telling him a second job isn’t a good idea with all that he does already.”

“It’ll be _fine_ ,” John protested. “I need to make a little extra money somehow.”

 _I wish you’d just let my parents help_ , Rose sighed. _Wouldn’t it be easier than working yourself into the ground?_

 _You’re both worrying about nothing. It’ll be fine_.

“So, Rose!” Sarah Jane said brightly while they looked at the apartments John liked. “You’re getting ready for university soon too, aren’t you?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Rose said politely, and Sarah Jane smiled.

“You can call me Sarah, sweetheart. Do you now what you want to go to school for?”

“Music, probably.” Rose had thought about it a lot. Really, music was the only thing she was good at.

“John told me your an amazing flutist.” Rose blushed a bit. “I can always tell when he’s listening to you play, he gets this silly dreamy look on his face.”

“Do not,” John muttered. “I think this one’s my favorite. It’s kind of far from campus but I don’t mind commuting. I don’t want to get one too close to campus just for me since you don’t know where you’re going yet.”

Rose ducked her head, a bit embarrassed. “I mean, get whatever’s best for you.” It wasn’t a guarantee she was even going to get _into_ a school.

 _Of course you’re going to get into a school, don’t be silly_ , John said, kissing her temple. Sarah Jane smiled gently as she watched them.

She was glad her nephew had found someone so kind and wonderful. And she really did like Rose. They were so sweet together.

Rose never wanted to leave Sarah Jane’s. It was _such_ a different experience from the time they spent at Rose’s house — Sarah Jane made her feel welcome and at home and even a little loved. She didn’t even protest when John asked if he could bring Rose upstairs for a few to show her some sketches he had done recently. “Just leave your door open and don’t tell Rose’s parents,” she teased as John and Rose hurried upstairs.

Sarah Jane, of course, asked Rose a lot of questions, but not in the same interrogatory way Rose’s parents had questioned John. Sarah simply wanted to know Rose better.

It was such a different atmosphere, and Rose _loved_ it. _Your aunt really is amazing_ , Rose told John, and he grinned.

 _Don’t tell her that. It’ll go right to her head_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review...?


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Seven more months.

Rose was starting to get anxious. She knew she wasn’t always the easiest person to deal with, and sure, John was in her head all the time, but that wasn’t the same as _living_ with her.

 _It’s pretty much the same as living with you_ , John pointed out when he picked up on those thoughts. Rose shrugged miserably.

_Living with me means you have to put up with me taking too long in the shower and staring at the fridge because I can’t decide what I want to eat or if I want to eat and getting up every ten minutes because I can’t sit still—_

_Oh, well when you put it that way you’re right, that sounds awful_ , John cut Rose off dryly. _Take a breath, Rose. I love you. Believe it or not I already know about a lot of your little quirks because I experience them every single day. There’s almost nothing you could at this point that would surprise me. Unless you have a secret cache of bodies somewhere that you've been hiding from me for almost ten years. Then we might need to talk_.

Rose giggled a bit despite herself. _No bodies._ She paused for a moment. _We’ve known each other for almost ten years. Feels like longer_.

 _Why, because I’m so insufferable?_ John teased, and Rose rolled her eyes.

 _No, I just… I feel like you’ve always been here, you know?_ She couldn’t remember a time when John hadn’t been here, in her head. And she liked it that way. She liked having him here.

 _I like having you here too_ , John said, and Rose could just imagine the stupid little smile on his face as he said that. _I love you._

 _I love you too_. Rose definitely didn’t have a stupid little smile of her own as she said those words. Definitely not.

* * * * * * * *

“Ooooooh, this one’s nice.”

Rose’s parents, unsurprisingly, had been unwilling to let her look at apartments with John alone. Honestly, what kind of trouble did they think they could get into? But Pete had insisted on coming, and Rose hadn’t felt like arguing with him. Sometimes, it was just better to let her parents have their way.

“One bedroom,” Pete commented, and Rose had to resist the urge to roll her eyes.

“Yeah, Dad, we’re going to be _sharing_ a bed. We don’t really need a second bedroom.” It was more money for something they didn’t need.

“I know, I know…” Pete didn’t look too thrilled to be hearing that, of course. Rose didn’t bother dignifying that with an answer. She had never bothered trying to explain to her parents that John didn’t care about sex. There was no point. They’d never believe her.

Not that it mattered once she was eighteen. She could do whatever she wanted and her parents couldn’t stop her. Including share a bed with her boyfriend.

 _Sad that sharing a bed is all we aspire to_ , John spoke up. He was out in the living room talking to the lady showing them the apartment, but apparently he was paying attention to the conversation. Rose stifled a laugh, but something in her eyes must have told Pete she was talking to John, because he raised an eyebrow.

“Come on, it’s nice though, isn’t it?” Rose asked quickly, distracting him.

“And how does John plan on paying for it?”

“With money, I would hope,” Rose said, a bit sarcastically. Pete gave her a look, and she sighed. “He got a second job on campus. He’s done all the math and it’ll be a bit tight, but he can afford it. He’s really good at saving money. He has no life.”

_Rude!_

They left the apartment, heading for the next one on the list. They had a long day ahead of them. _This is weird_ , John said uncomfortably. He was grateful Pete hadn’t felt the need to break out the limo just to look at apartments (that was for _special_ occasions), but he did have his personal driver driving them from place to place. It made John feel awkward. _I could have just driven us_.

 _It’s nothing personal, but Dad doesn’t trust anyone else to drive him around_ , Rose said gently. _He was in a really bad car accident when I was a baby, and it kind of traumatized him. That’s what Mum says anyways. He hasn’t been behind the wheel of a car since and he hired a driver as soon as he had the money so Mum wouldn’t have to keep driving him everywhere. Charlie’s the only person besides Mum he trusts to drive him. He’s been Dad’s driver since I was five._

John cast a look at Pete, noting that he _did_ seem rather stiff and tense. He hadn’t spoken the entire way from the mansion to the first apartment. John had assumed it was because he was unhappy with the task at hand.

 _That’s fair_ , John said quietly. _I guess I wouldn’t like being in cars either if I’d almost died in one_.

Pete relaxed once they were out of the car at the next place, though still not completely thrilled as they looked through the apartment. Rose liked this one a lot too. She had a feeling she was going to like most of them, though. “Hey Dad, this closet’s pretty big,” she said teasingly as she looked into the closet in question. “Maybe we could put a bed in here and have a second bedroom.”

“Very funny.” Pete pinched the bridge of his nose, far from amused by his daughter’s antics.  Rose made a face at him.

“You knew I was going to move in with him when I turned eighteen,” she pointed out. “I _told_ you that.” He’d had plenty of time to process it.

“I know, Rose. I just…” He sighed. “Nobody wants to think about their daughter growing up. You’ll understand someday.”

John had been talking to the man showing them the place, but he went oddly quiet at Pete’s words, and Rose felt the rush of anxiety that went through him.

 _What’s wrong?_ Rose asked, surprised. She hadn’t been expecting such a reaction.

 _Nothing_ , John said quickly, and before Rose could question it further he was thinking about money and commutes and a thousand questions, all of which he proceeded to ask the man and distract from Rose. She scowled at his back and went back to touring with her dad.

 _Okay, seriously, what’s wrong?_ Rose asked on their way to the next place. Pete wasn’t going to distract them from a conversation in the car. John was trying desperately to think about _anything_ else and make it hard for Rose to break through and figure out what his anxiety was. _**John**_ _. Knock it off and talk to me_.

John sighed faintly. _I just… do you… do you_ _ **want**_ _kids?_

 _What?_ Rose asked in disbelief. _Where the hell is_ _ **that**_ _coming from?_

 _What your dad said earlier_.

 _What did he_ … _oh_. Rose blinked as realization set in. _“Nobody wants to think about their daughter growing up. You’ll understand someday.”_

_What does that have to do with anything? I think we have a few years before we need to worry about anything._

_I know, but do you_ _ **want**_ _kids?_ John felt like he should already know the answer to that. He was in her head all the time, after all. But it wasn’t something that had ever really come up.

 _I… yeah, I do_ , Rose admitted. She wouldn’t deny she had half-daydreamed about having a family with John someday. It would be amazing. _But I don’t want to start one the minute we move in together or anything._

 _Yeah, but making a baby kind of involves sex_.

 _Oh._ _ **Oh**_. Oh Jesus. Rose nearly rolled her eyes, but resisted. John might get the wrong idea. _Is that what you’re worried about? We can figure something out. Maybe we can adopt. Honestly I don’t know if I’d want to pregnant. I don’t remember_ _ **much**_ _from Mum being pregnant with Tony but I definitely remember her throwing up a lot. It sounds awful_.

John smiled weakly. _Adoption might be good._

 _Now will you please relax?_ Rose knew he was a bit insecure about the no sex thing, even if he tried not to let her see it. She wanted to put him at ease. Nothing was going to make her love him any less. He’d be a lot happier once he finally allowed himself to believe that.

_Do you think your dad would rip my head off if I kissed you?_

Rose smirked and leaned over, pressing a kiss to John’s lips. She thought she saw Pete twitch a little, but he couldn’t get mad; _she_ had instigated it, after all.

* * * * * * * *

Five more months.

John had started his second job right before the semester started, and he was basically always tired. Rose didn’t like it. _Are you_ _ **sure**_ _you can handle this?_ She asked, and John could just imagine the frown on her face. He was sitting at the library, trying to study, but he kept getting distracted by yawning.

 _Yeah, of course, I’m fine_.

 _You keep saying that_. Rose didn’t seem impressed by his bravado. That was okay. Really, he was too tired to put up much of an act. _I don’t think you know what fine means_.

 _Very funny_. John yawned again, and was momentarily distracted by an equally haggard and exhausted-looking student walking up to check out a book. _Really, I’m okay. And it’s worth it to have the money for our apartment_.

 _I wish you’d just let Dad help you. I bet he’d be willing. He was really impressed with how thoroughly you looked into apartments_ , Rose pointed out. John _had_ gone just a little crazy with apartment hunting. There were roughly twenty spreadsheets and diagrams buried in the hard drive of his laptop from all the research he had done.

 _He’ll be less impressed if he thinks I can’t afford it_ , John said. He could almost _feel_ Rose rolling her eyes.

_This is some bloody man ego thing, isn’t it? Gotta prove you can pay the way for your lady and all that?_

John bit down a laugh. _Are you ‘my lady’ now?_

 _Well I wouldn’t say you_ _ **own**_ _me or anything_.

 _I wouldn’t say that either. You’d slap me_.

A ripple of amusement went through the link, and John smiled tiredly. God he loved her laugh.

* * * * * * * *

John’s dreams had always been a little weird — especially during high-stress study times when he seemed to have reoccurring nightmares about his books trying to eat him — but they had only gotten stranger since he’d started working at the library.

Tonight it had been some textbook chasing John down a row of library shelves screaming “ _YOU PUT ME IN THE WRONG SECTION”_ and while it hadn’t woken John up, by some miracle, Rose had snapped awake right as a second book had joined the textbook. The images from the dream turned fuzzy has Rose’s conscious mind took over; it was hard for them to say each other’s dreams when the other was awake. And honestly, Rose was just as happy for that. She’d had more than enough of books chasing her to last a lifetime.

Rose rolled out of bed, yawning. She was thirsty, so she went down to the kitchen to get a drink. She paused on the way there, noticing the light in the sun room was on. That was weird. Maybe Tony had snuck downstairs to play a video game or something. Rose went to check, deciding it would be perfect blackmail material since she had used up her “I saw Tony and his boyfriend shirtless and kissing” fact.

She was a bit surprised to find Jackie sitting on the couch, flipping mindlessly through a photo album. “Mum?” She asked quietly. Jackie jumped, looking back.

“Rose! What’re you doing awake? Did you have a bad dream?”

“No. Well, yeah. Kind of.” Rose shrugged. “John did. Still is, actually, he hasn’t woken up. It bleeds over sometimes though, and his dreams are _weird_.”

As usual, Jackie went expressionless at the mention of John. Rose ignored it. “What are you doing up?”

“Oh, I couldn’t sleep.” Jackie shrugged, looking back at the photo album. Rose hesitated before going to join her. She was surprised to see it was pictures of her — from her eighth birthday, if she wasn’t mistaken. Jackie flipped the page to Rose blowing out her candles, and sighed. “Did you already know John by this point?” She asked. The question surprised Rose.

“This was the day the bond formed completely, I think,” she said quietly. “Remember the entire month before my birthday, I kept getting headaches? I think it was from the bond trying to form. John got headaches that entire month too. We’ve talked about it.”

Jackie kept her eyes focused on the picture, tracing her pinky along the tiny contours of her daughter’s face. “I don’t hate him, you know.” The out-of-nowhere declaration surprised Rose. She nearly said she had never thought Jackie hated John, but that was a lie and they both knew it.

“You act like it sometimes,” she said instead, and Jackie sighed.

“He just… he got so much of you, Rose. He’s known you for almost ten years and he knows you better than your father and I ever will. It’s a lot. We raised you, and we love you, and there are things about you we’ll never know or understand. But he _does_.”

It took Rose a moment to realize what her mother was getting at. “So you’re… _jealous_ … of John?” She said slowly.

“Of course not!” Jackie protested, though after a moment her expression shifted from offended to almost a little ashamed. “Envious, maybe. It’s hard, feeling like you don’t understand your own daughter.”

“Mum…” Rose sighed, leaning over and hugging Jackie tight. “You don’t have to understand every little thing. I love you. And I know you love me. That’s all that matters, right?”

Jackie wrapped her arms around Rose, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head. “Yeah. That’s all that matters.”

A bolt of fear ran through Rose’s mind as John jerked awake. _Get fire!_ He yelled incoherently, and Rose bit down a laugh. _The books are gonna get me!_

_The books aren’t going to get you, John. Go back to sleep._

John mumbled something even Rose couldn’t understand, and Rose felt him relax as he fell asleep once more.


	20. Chapter Twenty

 

 

Anxiety was an interesting thing to directly witness second-hand.

Rose didn’t know how to explain it to anyone else — she had tried to tell her parents, but they had simply told her to calm down, like it was that simple — but John saw it, and John understood. She wasn’t _nervous_ — she was consumed by a blackhole that felt like a swarm of buzzing bees in her head, and she couldn’t escape it.

 _Deep breaths_ , John said gently as Rose tapped her pencil against her desk, every single thing she had studied over the last few months instantly leaving her mind. _You’re okay. You’ve been studying for months. I tested you last night and you answered everything perfectly. You_ _ **know**_ _this. It’s going to be okay._

 _What if I fail?_ She asked in a small voice.

 _Then you’ll try again next year. But don’t think about that now, okay? Focus on the test. It’s going to be okay_.

Rose took a deep breath, and John started humming quietly in the back of her head. That seemed to calm her somewhat, and with another breath she returned her attention to her test with John still humming. Rose always worked better to music.

* * * * * * * *

 _Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod_ …

John jerked out of his half stupor, shaking his head and blinking rapidly. “What—” He started to ask out loud, then stopped when the student he was tutoring gave him an odd look. “Um, sorry. I’m tired.”

 _What’s wrong?_ He asked, re-focusing on Rose, who was bouncing out of her skin.

 _I got a letter from the Royal Academy of Music_. John straightened up at once, making sure the person he was tutoring was wrapped up in her work before turning his full attention to Rose.

_What does it say?_

_I don’t know, I haven’t opened it yet_. Rose’s mental voice was shaking. _The envelope is so small…_

 _It’s a conditional acceptance_ , John said confidently. _I got one too. It just means they’re waiting for your exam results._

 _Or it’s a rejection_.

 _Open it and find out_ , John encouraged. Rose was practically bouncing as she made her way inside, grateful that her parents and Tony were all gone. She didn’t need them hovering while she dealt with this.

_What if I didn’t get in?_

_You applied to a bunch of other places_ , John reminded her. _You’ll get into_ _ **one**_ _of them._

 _But this is the best one_ , Rose said, wiping her eyes. She wasn’t sure why she was crying. She hadn’t even seen the rejection yet. _They have the best program. If I don’t get in_ …

 _Open it,_ John said again. Rose was nearly working herself into a panic attack. _You’ll never know until you open it_.

 _Right. Right_. Rose took a deep breath and ripped the envelope open, pulling the letter out with shaking hands. John held his breath, waiting.

 _Dear Ms. Rose Tyler, thank you for interest in the Royal Academy of Music London. We are pleased to offer you a place_ —

“HA!” John yelled, earning himself several strange looks and a couple of frantic “Shush!”es. “S-Sorry,” he stuttered. In his head, Rose was torn between laughing and crying.

 _Oh my god oh my god oh my god I don’t believe it_.

 _I do!_ John said happily. He knew she’d get it. He _knew_ it.

 _It’s conditional_.

 _It’s just until you get your A-level results, that’s all_. John was grinning so wide his face hurt. He wanted to go straight to the Tyler mansion right then and hug Rose and kiss her and tell her how proud he was of her.

 _I did it_ , Rose whispered, and John beamed.

 _I knew you could_.

Rose collapsed onto the couch, giggling a bit. _I love you_ , she told John. This was all because of him. He had helped her so much with studying and getting through school and getting caught up again after she had been in the hospital. She never would have gotten this if it wasn’t for him and she knew it.

 _Oh, that’s not true_ , John chastised her gently. _But I love you too_.

* * * * * * * *

Jackie and Pete, of course, were _thrilled_ at their daughter’s acceptance, even if it was just conditional (as Rose had to keep reminding everyone).

“We need to celebrate, of course,” Jackie said when they had mostly calmed down from the excitement. “Let’s go out to dinner on Friday. Wherever you want, sweetheart.”

“Can John come too?” Rose asked. Her parents should have expected that, and part of her thought they did — they didn’t even look annoyed at the question.

“If he’s not busy, he’s welcome to come,” Pete said after a moment.

“He’s never busy, he has no life.”

 _Oi, I might be working_ , John grumbled. He wasn’t really upset or offended, of course; he just liked to tease.

_You’re not working, I know your schedule._

“He’d love to come,” Rose said brightly.

* * * * * * * *

 _If I didn’t know any better, I’d say your parents_ _ **don’t**_ _hate me anymore_.

 _I don’t think they ever hated you_ , Rose said quietly. Her talk with Jackie had been sticking in her mind.

“Hey, John, so I finally finished Gold…” Tony, of course, _had_ to have John’s attention, and Rose rolled her eyes a bit, smiling. She swore her brother had a small crush on John. Which was fair; he was funny and smart and he liked video games, which of course Tony loved.

“Tony, John doesn’t want to talk about video games,” Jackie chastised her son, and Tony stuck his tongue out at her.

“John can speak for himself.”

 _At least I’ll always have your brother on my side_. John laughed, sliding a hand down under the table to find Rose’s hand and interlacing their fingers, squeezing tight. Rose giggled, leaning into him.

 _I might have to worry about him stealing you from me. Hazards of having a gay brother, I suppose_.

 _You’ll never have to worry about that_. John chanced leaning in and kissing Rose’s cheek, and she grinned. _You’re my favorite Tyler_.

 _Glad I have that going for me_.

* * * * * * * *

_HAPPY BIRTHDAY!_

Rose nearly fell out of bed as John shouted in her head. _Blimey_! She yelped, giggling despite herself. _Trying to make sure I don’t live to see nineteen?_

 _Oh, shush_. Rose could tell John was grinning. _Hey guess what?_

_What?_

_You’re eighteen. You can move in with me now_.

 _I’ll start packing_. Unfortunately, Rose couldn’t actually move until she was done with school — it was too far of a drive from their apartment to her school.

 _Their apartment_. Rose felt something warm and happy well up in her at the thought. It was their place. They were going to live there together.

And it was going to be wonderful.

John had to work, so he couldn’t actually come over for Rose’s birthday, but he made sure to be present in some way for the entire day. He was going to come over on his next day off and spend the night — in the guest room, of course — so Rose supposed that was acceptable.

They’d be living together soon enough. Just another month and she’d be done with school. She could wait.

They had waited this long, after all. What was another month?

* * * * * * * *

_JohnJohnJohnJohnJohnJohn!_

Oh boy. John raised his head from his book, yawning. He had fallen asleep at his desk while he was studying. _A-level results?_ He guessed, yawning again.

 _YES!_ Rose sounded torn between terror and excitement. She must not have opened them yet.

 _You are brilliant and amazing and I’m sure you passed everything with flying colors_ , John assured her with a small smile. _Open them_.

This wasn’t nearly as bad for Rose as opening her university acceptance had been. Maybe because she was actually confident in her results — more or less. She didn’t want to be completely confident only to find out she failed everything — or maybe because she felt like she had already accomplished the most difficult thing. She had gotten into a great school. Surely she had also passed her A-levels?

 _I’m sure you did,_ John assured her gently. _Open them_.

 

Rose tore the envelope open and pulled out the results, skimming them quickly. John registered what they meant before she did. _You passed!_

 _I did?_ She asked, a bit stupidly, reading them again. _Oh my god. I did. I passed!_

John laughed at her slightly disconnected realization that she had, in fact, passed all her A-levels. _They’ll have already sent the results to Royal Academy, too_ , he told his stunned girlfriend. _So you’ll be getting your full acceptance from them any day now_.

 _Oh my god,_ Rose whispered again. _Oh my god. John I did it. I passed my A-levels. I got into a good school. I_ _ **did it**_.

 _I always knew you could_ , John said, and Rose beamed, pride and happiness welling up inside her. It had been a long time since she’d felt _this_ happy and good about herself. It was a wonderful feeling.

And to top it all off, she only had another week before she moved in with John. The love of her life. Her soulmate.

Nothing could go wrong.

* * * * * * * *

“It’s moving day, it’s moving day!” Rose sang as she made her way downstairs with a couple of packed boxes. She wasn’t bringing _much_ to hers and John’s new place — John had already gotten furniture and they had a bed, so all she needed to bring was her clothes and her flute and other various school supplies. Her parents had wanted to hire a moving truck, but they didn’t really need it — John had just rented a large van for them. He was still asleep, but Rose wanted to get her stuff downstairs. The less work they had to do later, the better.

“It’s _seven in the morning_!” Tony yelled from his room. “Shut up!”

“It’s moving day!” Rose yelled back. Nothing — not even her annoying little brother — would ruin this for her. She was moving in with John. And everything was okay.

John arrived around nine, yawning and rubbing his eyes as he climbed out of the car. He grinned when Rose ran out to meet him, however, throwing her arms around him and kissing him soundly. “Hello!” She said happily.

“Hello,” John returned with a grin. “Ready to go?”

“Yes!” Rose hugged him again. “Come on, I’ve already moved all my boxes downstairs, so all we have to do is move them out to the car. Tony even offered to help.”

Actually Rose had low key blackmailed him into helping by threatening to tell their parents she had found him with his boyfriend in the backyard, smoking. But that was beside the point. “Yeah.” John smirked, catching Rose’s train of thought. “ _Offered_. Come on.”

With Tony’s help, they made short work of the boxes, getting the van filled in about an hour. Rose was hopping up and down by the end of it, grinning as she held John’s hand.

“This is it.”

John kissed her temple, and Tony made a gagging noise, turning to go back inside. “I’m just gonna go say bye to Mum and Dad,” Rose said, turning to follow Tony.

“I’ll come too.” John had said hi to the Tyler parents in passing while they worked, but he didn’t want to seem rude.

Jackie and Pete both hugged Rose tight when she came in. “It’s not even that far,” she assured them, knowing they were both worried about their daughter moving out. “Twenty minutes across town. You can come visit whenever you want.”

“Absolutely,” John spoke up, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach. He still wasn’t sure Pete and Jackie liked him that much. But for Rose, he would suck it up.

“Call us if you need anything,” Pete said, looking up at John. “Both of you. Day or night.”

“We will,” Rose said, and John nodded. “We promise. I love you both.”

“We love you too, sweetheart.” Jackie kissed her forehead. “Get going. You’ve got a long day of unpacking ahead of you.”

Rose beamed, hugging them both one more time before taking John’s hand and pulling him out of the house.

Rose hadn’t been to the apartment since they had visited it before John moved in — it wouldn’t be _appropriate_ , of course. “I haven’t done much with the place,” John said sheepishly as he approached. “Hung up a few pictures, got some bookshelves, but nothing big. I figured we could do all the decorating and stuff together.”

“I’d love that,” Rose said honestly. It would have been possible for John to make the apartment completely his, and Rose would have just felt like an intruder in his space when she moved in.

But he had waited for her. And she loved him for it.

They decided to get all the boxes upstairs first thing and get it over with before Rose took the time to look around and really see what John had done with the place. The first thing she noticed, on her first trip upstairs, was an empty bookshelf.

“ _You_ left a bookshelf empty?” Rose teased, nudging him. He grinned.

“That’s _your_ shelf. I had to get two for all my stuff. I wasn’t really sure what you’d need, so we can grab another one later.” He had tried to think of everything, to make sure Rose had space in their new home the moment she moved in.

God, he was perfect.

“Right!” John said as they finally got up the last of the boxes. “Home sweet home.”

Rose looked back at him, beaming, and threw her arms around him in a tight hug. “I love you,” she whispered beefier kissing him. She could do that whenever she wanted to now. They could go to sleep holding one another, kiss each other awake, hold hands while they went shopping together…

They could _be together_.

“Should start unpacking,” John said after a moment. Rose hugged tighter to him, smiling.

_Just hold me for a bit. Please?_

She felt John smile as he buried his face in her hair, kissing the top of her head.

 _As long as you want_.

 _Forever_ , was the first thought that passed through Rose’s mind. John laughed.

 _Forever works for me_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This is it! The end of the line! I would just like to say thank you to every single person who took the time to read and review this story -- you’re the ones who kept me going through all my bad brain stuff and I love you for it <3

**Author's Note:**

> Please review?


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